Mingyur Rinpoche

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- “The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.”  These words from the legendary Esther Perel have the power to genuinely change your outlook on life. But while it’s easy to hear them and immediately have your mind go to family relationships or romantic relationships, today we’re going to talk about friendships. Friendships can be massive contributors to mental health. They can also, when they go pear-shaped, be the source of abundant misery.  Today’s guest is the legendary Esther Perel. Her resume is beyond impressive: She is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of books such as Mating in Captivity. Her TED talk has attracted more than 30 million views. She is fluent in nine languages. She is the host of the popular podcasts Where Should We Begin? and How’s Work? And her latest project is called Where Should We Begin - A Game of Stories with Esther Perel.  In this episode we talk about:  How the pandemic has impacted our friendships Esther’s contention that “love and commitment and intimacy don’t just belong to the world of romantic couples” What makes friendship unique, in good ways and tricky ways What to consider when determining whether to confront a difficulty in a friendship How to conduct a self-assessment of yourself as a friend How systematic we should be about cultivating and maintaining our friendships How to reconnect with friends authentically Whether or not we can have platonic friendships across the gender spectrum How to handle friendships when you’re in a romantic relationship, including friendships you share, friendships with those with whom your partner doesn’t get along, and friendships with exes Content warning: There are some brief references to sensitive topics, including suicide.  *Esther Perel invites you and a colleague to apply for a session with her that will be part of the new season of her podcast How's Work? Her team is looking for work pairs, co-founders, colleagues, managers, or any combination to join her for a session to explore the future of work together. Apply here. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/esther-perel-464

15 Juni 202250min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Life is filled with all kinds of moral dilemmas— from the mundane to the momentous. Should I lie and tell my friend that I like her ugly shirt? Can I still enjoy great art if it was created by terrible people? How much money should I give to charity? Ultimately, does anything we do even matter? In today’s conversation, television writer and producer, Michael Schur helps us to navigate our moral dilemmas and answer some of these difficult questions.  Schur is best known for creating and co-creating such shows as Parks and Recreation, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Good Place, and Rutherford Falls. Additionally, he has worked on shows like The Office, Master of None, The Comeback, and Hacks. He is also the Author of How to Be Perfect: The Correct Answer to Every Moral Question.  In this episode we talk about:  What got him started on the road to reading philosophy and studying ethics The so-called “trolley problem” Trusting your gut Natural states of virtue The evolutionary advantages of virtue And how white lies can be beneficial in a complicated and messy society This interview was recorded in person at the TED conference in April of 2022, where both Michael Schur and Dan Harris spoke. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/michael-schur-463

13 Juni 202255min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- How much would your relationships improve if you could up your emotional intelligence game? That phrase, “emotional intelligence” or EQ, entered the lexicon over 25 years ago, when Daniel Goleman wrote a book by the same name.  In this episode, Daniel Goleman talks about the four components of emotional intelligence and how we can develop these skills in our daily lives.   Golman is a Harvard-trained psychologist who, along with other contemplative luminaries such as Joseph Goldstein, Sharon Salzberg and Jon Kabat-Zinn, went to Asia and discovered meditation in the 1960s— making it a huge part of their lives and careers.  In this episode we talk about:  The four components of emotional intelligence, how to develop them, and why these skills matter so much during the middle of a pandemic  Empathy and relationship management in the age of zoom The “marshmallow test” and impulse control A phenomenon he calls, “amygdala hijacks” Why so many Jewish kids in the sixties and seventies got turned on to Buddhism   Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/daniel-goleman-repost

8 Juni 202257min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- It’s completely natural when dealing with anxiety, depression, anger, shame, or any other unpleasant emotion, to just want it to go away. Guest Susan David says that these discomforts are the price of admission to being alive and offers an approach called emotional agility as a way to navigate them.  Susan David, Ph.D. is a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and author of a book called Emotional Agility. Her TED Talk on the subject has been viewed more than eight million times.  In this episode we talk about:  Her definition of emotional agility  The four skills of emotional agility Why she says our emotions are data, not directives How to move skillfully through a world that “conspires against us seeing ourselves” How to avoid emotional “fusion” The power of tiny tweaks And “emotional granularity”— what it is, why it matters and how to practice it  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/susan-david-461

6 Juni 202258min

The phrase, “Get over yourself” is often used in a flippant way, but it’s actually speaking to a deep human need to get out of our heads and off our own backs. At a fundamental level, this is what Buddhism is all about— seeing through the illusion of the self, which can be the source of so much of our suffering.  In this episode guest Pascal Auclair talks about how we can unlock this suffering through the use of a foundational Buddhist list called the five aggregates.  Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997. He has been mentored by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield at the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Massachusetts and Spirit Rock Meditation Center in California, where he is now enjoying teaching retreats. Pascal teaches in North America and in Europe. He is a co-founder of True North Insight and one of their guiding teachers. In this episode we talk about:  How the five aggregates got Auclair hooked on Buddhist practice and philosophy The five aggregates as a way to work with difficulty Living with the non-negotiable prospect of dying Paying attention to pleasant, unpleasant and neutral feeling tone Meditation training as a way to understand that experiences are conditional Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/pascal-auclair-459

1 Juni 20221h 11min

Our culture has oddly conflicting views about pleasure.  In this episode, author adrienne maree brown explores the importance of pleasure and how it changes your experience of the world.  adrienne maree brown is the writer-in-residence at the Emergent Strategy Ideation Institute, and author of Grievers (the first novella in a trilogy on the Black Dawn imprint), Holding Change: The Way of Emergent Strategy Facilitation and Mediation, We Will Not Cancel Us and Other Dreams of Transformative Justice, Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good, Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds and the co-editor of Octavia’s Brood: Science Fiction from Social Justice Movements and How to Get Stupid White Men Out of Office. She is the cohost of the How to Survive the End of the World, Octavia’s Parables and Emergent Strategy podcasts. adrienne is rooted in Detroit. In this conversation we talked about: What is pleasure activism The role of sex and drugs Why we should say yes more How to be in touch with our sense of “enough” The role of gratitude  The line between commitment and detachment How she defines authentic happiness Her self-description as “a recovering self-righteous organizer,” and why self-righteousness actually leads to powerlessness Content Warning: Discussions of sex and drugs.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/adrienne-maree-brown-458

30 Maj 20221h 14min

In a culture that values persistent productivity, one can be left feeling chronically behind.  In this episode, author and recovering time management junkie, Oliver Burkeman  encourages us to stop scrambling to fit it all in by exploring the relationship between our mortality and getting things done.  Oliver Burkeman is the author of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. Former guest Adam Grant has called it, “The most important book ever written about time management.” This is Oliver’s second appearance on the show. Burkeman joined us on the show a few years ago to talk about his other book, The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking. He also writes a bi-weekly email newsletter called The Imperfectionist. In this conversation, we talk about:  Why accepting mortality is a crucial step in improving our relationship to time His conviction that it’s not about being more efficient. It’s about knowing what to neglect Patience as a superpower and the impatience spiral The benefits of burning bridges Becoming a better procrastinator The benefits of rest What he calls “cosmic insignificance therapy” Practical tips, such as the “fixed volume approach to productivity,” the value of serialization, and strategic underachievement.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/oliver-burkeman-456

25 Maj 20221h 9min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. Our guest this week is Alicia Menendez, an award-winning journalist, who finds herself in a common position for many women: caring way too much about what others think of her. Be nice, but not too nice. Be successful, but not too successful. Just be likable, whatever that means. In the workplace strong women are often criticized for being cold, while warm women may be seen as pushovers. In her book, The Likeability Trap, and in this conversation, she discusses this issue and explains how and why both men and women should combat it. In this conversation, we talk about:  The aforementioned likability trap The structural imbalance in feedback for women and men in the workplace The things for men to consider as they engage with women in the workplace Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/alicia-menendez-212

23 Maj 20221h 5min