Small Ways to Improve Your Everyday Life Right Now | Gretchen Rubin
I call Gretchen Rubin the "Swiss Army Knife for Happiness." Present her with a problem, and she will flood you with practical, customized solutions. I love having Gretchen on this show not only because she's smart and funny and we're friends, but also because she provides some compelling counterprogramming. Most of our guests come from the meditation world, but Gretchen approaches happiness from a very different angle. She's a lawyer by training - she began her career clerking for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor - who went on to write a series of books that examine small, doable ways to boost our happiness in everyday life. Her books include her breakout memoir The Happiness Project, and then follow-on bestsellers such as The Four Tendencies (which is a fascinating look at how different kinds of people form habits). In this interview, we explore a bunch of ways to improve your day-to-day life in this pandemic. We talk about: family relationships, decluttering, setting priorities, managing your relationship to technology, treating yourself without overindulging, and going easy on yourself versus expecting more from yourself. Where to find Gretchen Rubin online: Website: https://gretchenrubin.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/gretchenrubin Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GretchenRubin Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gretchenrubin/ Book Mentioned: Outer Order, Inner Calm by Gretchen Rubin / https://gretchenrubin.com/books/outer-order-inner-calm/about-the-book We've been nominated for two Webby awards. If you love and want to support our work, please vote for us via links in the episode description. Vote for us in the health & fitness app category. / https://vote.webbyawards.com/PublicVoting#/2020/apps-mobile-and-voice/apps-mobile-sites-general/health-fitness Vote for us in the voice category. / https://vote.webbyawards.com/PublicVoting#/2020/apps-mobile-and-voice/general-voice/health-fitness-lifestyle Other Resources Mentioned: Susan Kaiser Greenland / https://www.susankaisergreenland.com/ Some Good News / https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOe_y6KKvS3PdIfb9q9pGug The Four Tendencies Quiz / https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide We want to deeply thank and recognize teachers, warehouse workers, grocery and food delivery workers, and healthcare workers for the essential role that they play in our lives. For FREE access to the app and hundreds of meditations and resources visit https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/gretchen-rubin-244
4 Maj 202053min
Can You Be OK With Uncertainty? | Jack Kornfield
On this episode, a bad news / good news situation. Let's start with the bad news: human beings are not wired for uncertainty. It short circuits our system. The mind wants to plan, to work things out - and, in a pandemic, that is basically impossible. The good news: meditation is perfectly designed to take the edge off, if not more. Our guest this week is Jack Kornfield, a pioneering meditation teacher, prolific author, a former Buddhist monk, and a clinical psychologist. We talk about: how to use meditation to embrace uncertainty, the importance of getting in touch with your own "tainted glory," and why we shouldn't fear the schmaltz. (That last one was mostly for me.) Where to find Jack Kornfield online: Website: https://jackkornfield.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/JackKornfield Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jkornfield Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jack_kornfield/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5JayBKk-Bynk6XnUnU7vLA Other Resources Mentioned: Lady Gaga Kicks Off ‘One World: Together at Home’ With Performance of ‘Smile’ / https://variety.com/2020/music/news/lady-gaga-smile-together-at-home-1234584282/ Spring Washam / https://www.springwasham.com/ Ram Dass / https://www.ramdass.org/ Neem Karoli Baba / https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neem_Karoli_Baba Wangari Maathai / https://www.greenbeltmovement.org/wangari-maathai Preah Maha Ghosananda / https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preah_Maha_Ghosananda Dolly Parton’s Poem / https://www.instagram.com/p/B-xdJu6FCR9/ Insight Meditation Society / https://www.dharma.org/ Jack Kornfield’s Meditations / https://jackkornfield.com/meditations/ Tara Brach / https://www.tarabrach.com/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers, Grocery Store & Food Delivery Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jack-kornfield-243
29 Apr 20201h 14min
A Buddhist Approach to Money Worries | Ethan Nichtern
No matter what your economic situation is, you have likely experienced some money worries during this pandemic. I know I have- and I say that as someone who is in an extremely fortunate position. So many people have lost businesses, lost jobs, had salaries cut- or we are worried about one of these things happening to us. Given the massive insecurity and uncertainty abroad in the land, we wanted to explore a Buddhist approach to financial concerns. It's not like the Buddha never said anything on this matter. He wasn't expecting all meditators to live in caves with shaved heads. There's a ton of useful stuff in Buddhism on the issue of money, and there are a lot of meditative techniques for handling our financial anxieties. So we brought on a great Buddhist teacher by the name of Ethan Nichtern. He's been on the show before. He has written a few books, including one called The Road Home. He also hosts a podcast by the same name. We had a great chat, and I'm excited to bring it to you. Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Where to find Ethan Nichtern online: Website: https://www.ethannichtern.com/ Social Media: Twitter: Ethan Nichtern (@ethannichtern) / https://twitter.com/ethannichtern Facebook: Ethan Nichtern / https://www.facebook.com/EthanNichtern/ Book Mentioned: The Dharma of the Princess Bride, by Ethan Nichtern / https://www.amazon.com/Dharma-Princess-Bride-Buddhism-Relationships/dp/0865477760 Other Resources Mentioned: Sharon Salzberg / https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/ Bodhisattva / https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bodhisattva The Eight Worldly Winds / https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outline_of_Buddhism#Eight_Worldly_Conditions Joseph Goldstein / https://10percenthappier.app.link/TEXKruciQ5 Buddha’s Brain, by Rick Hanson / https://www.rickhanson.net/books/buddhas-brain/ The Road Home podcast / https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-road-home-with-ethan-nichtern/id1392813061 Why Buddhism is True by Robert Wright / https://www.amazon.com/Why-Buddhism-True-Philosophy-Enlightenment/dp/1439195455 Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives by Adam Grant / https://www.amazon.com/Give-Take-Helping-Others-Success/dp/0143124986 Invisible Hands / https://www.invisiblehandsdeliver.com/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ethan-nichtern-242
27 Apr 20201h 11min
Crisis Advice from "Meditation MacGyver" | Jeff Warren
Jeff Warren is someone for whom I have a special affection. We chronicled our friendship in a book we co authored, called Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics, in which we took a gonzo cross-country bus trip to help people overcome various obstacles to establishing a meditation practice. On that trip, I started calling him "Meditation MacGyver," because he is a loveable, excitable meditation nerd who can seemingly come up with practices for any person in any circumstances. He even got my wife meditating (after years of refusing to do so because I had been so annoying when I pestered her to practice). So, who better to turn to in this crisis? By way of background, Jeff is a meditation teacher, based in Toronto, where he helps run a group called the Consciousness Explorers Club. He is also featured in many of the courses and guided meditations on the Ten Percent Happier app. He is brilliant and hilarious and, as you will hear, very open about his own personal struggles. Where to find Jeff Warren online: Website: https://jeffwarren.org/ Jeff on Ten Percent Happier: https://10percenthappier.app.link/jeff-warren Social Media: Facebook: Jeff Warren / https://www.facebook.com/jeffwarren.org/ Instagram: Jeff Warren (@_jeffwarren_) / https://www.instagram.com/_jeffwarren_/ YouTube: Jeff Warren / https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUOpVNy60LTCmAwfZ6zOroQ Resources Mentioned: Shinzen Young / https://www.shinzen.org/ A Common Language / https://jeffwarren.org/articles/a-common-language/ A Night Practice / https://jeffwarren.org/articles/a-night-practice/ Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace / https://www.amazon.com/Infinite-Jest-David-Foster-Wallace/dp/0316066524 Consciousness Explorers Club / http://cecmeditate.com/ Watchmen Sharon Salzberg & Joseph Goldstein Retreat: https://www.dharma.org/joseph-goldstein-sharon-salzberg-shelter-for-the-heart-and-mind-an-online-retreat/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jeff-warren-241
22 Apr 20201h 16min
Why We're All Grieving - and How To Deal With It | David Kessler
Most, if not all, of us are experiencing a cocktail of challenging emotions these days - whether in the background or in the foreground of our psyche. Speaking personally, I thought my primary issue was anxiety, but I had a vague sense that maybe it was more than that. Then I read an excellent, widely-circulated article that put a name to at least one aspect of my nameless, miasmatic dread. The article was from the Harvard Business Review, and the headline was, "That Discomfort You're Feeling is Grief." The article featured an interview with a grief expert named David Kessler, who explained that there are many flavors of grief. Some of us are grieving people we've lost, but millions more are grieving a way of life or a sense of security that seems lost - or we're experiencing anticipatory grief about an uncertain future. Not only was it helpful for Kessler to name this phenomenon, but he also had a bunch of excellent thoughts about how to manage it, including the exhortation to find meaning in this mess. In fact, that's the name of his new book: Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. So we invited him on. Here he is: David Kessler. Where to find David Kessler online: Website: https://grief.com/ Social Media: Twitter: @IamDavidKessler / https://twitter.com/iamdavidkessler Instagram: @iamdavidkessler / https://www.instagram.com/iamdavidkessler/ Facebook: David Kessler / https://www.facebook.com/IamDavidKessler/ Books Mentioned: Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief / https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Meaning-Sixth-Stage-Grief/dp/1501192736 On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss / https://www.amazon.com/Grief-Grieving-Finding-Meaning-Through/dp/0743266293 Other Resources Mentioned: David's Online Grief Group / https://www.facebook.com/groups/DavidKessler David's Harvard Business Review Article / https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief Paul Denniston & Grief Yoga / https://griefyoga.com/ Bessel van der Kolk / https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/ Elizabeth Kubler Ross / https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elisabeth_K%C3%BCbler-Ross Elizabeth Kubler Ross Foundation / https://www.ekrfoundation.org/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/david-kessler-240
20 Apr 202043min
How to Go Easy on Yourself in a Pandemic | Dr. Kristin Neff
It's easy to add insult to injury in this pandemic by beating ourselves up. Why are we not exercising more? Eating less? Or boosting our productivity? Kristin Neff, an associate professor at the University of Texas at Austin, says we need to give ourselves a break. To be clear, that does not mean relinquishing our high standards. Neff is one of - if not the - world’s leading experts on self-compassion. That's a squishy-sounding term, but there is a lot of hard-nosed evidence behind it. Per Neff, not beating yourself up does not equate to being lazy. It's about knowing the difference between healthy perfectionism and maladaptive perfectionism. It's about going easy without going soft. The smart, sparing use of the inner cattle prod. This was exactly the conversation I needed to have right now. Where to find Kristin Neff online: Website: https://self-compassion.org/ Social Media: Twitter: @self_compassion / https://twitter.com/self_compassion Facebook: Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff, Ph.D. / https://www.facebook.com/selfcompassion Other Resources Mentioned: Richard Schwartz, Internal Family Systems / https://ifs-institute.com/ Evelyn Tribole, Intuitive Eating / https://www.evelyntribole.com/ Chris Germer / https://chrisgermer.com/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kristin-neff-239
15 Apr 20201h 3min
You Don't Have to be Alone to be Lonely | Former Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy
Our guest this week gives a bracingly candid account of loneliness - one made all the more remarkable by the fact that he is a former surgeon general. Even before the current coronavirus pandemic, we were in the midst of another, quieter pandemic: loneliness. The term sounds somewhat unpleasant, but make no mistake: loneliness is, in fact, a deeply pernicious and insidious state, both psychologically and physiologically. And now, with all the social distancing we're doing, the loneliness problem is on steroids. This problem touches those not only people who live alone, but also those of us who may be surrounded by family. Loneliness doesn't require you to be alone. As you will hear, it's more about the quality of your relationships. Our guest, Dr. Vivek Murthy is, as mentioned, the former surgeon general. He has just published a book about loneliness, called "Together." We're doing this episode in a bit of a different way. We actually interviewed Vivek twice. The first time I spoke to him was right before the pandemic truly took off in the U.S.. He gave an incredible interview that we were excited to post. But then things really went haywire with the virus, so we wanted to have him on to talk about that. So we'll do this episode in two parts. First, you'll hear the newer interview - which is more topical. Then you'll hear the earlier interview, where he goes into greater depth. Where to find Dr. Vivek Murthy online: Website: https://www.vivekmurthy.com/ Book: https://www.vivekmurthy.com/together-book Social Media: Twitter: https://twitter.com/vivek_murthy Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrVivekMurthy/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drvivekmurthy Other Resources Mentioned: RULER at YALE http://ei.yale.edu/ruler/ruler-overview/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/vivek-murthy-238
13 Apr 20201h 27min
Is It Still OK to Be Happy? | Sylvia Boorstein
Even in the middle of a pandemic, it's still OK to experience delight. That's per legendary meditation teacher, Sylvia Boostein. In fact, she says, moments of happiness can fortify you to deal with the difficulties we are all facing. In other words, joy is a necessity, not a luxury right now. That is just one of many wisdom bombs Boorstein drops in this conversation. We also discuss how to cultivate "inner cordiality" and the quality of mind that has become her "savior" in these dark days. Boorstein is a genuine contemplative O.G., part of the vanguard of teachers who introduced mindfulness into the American mainstream. She is still going strong in her mid-eighties, after having lived a colorful life. Not only is she one of America's most respected teachers, but she is also a psychotherapist, peace activist, and grandmother. As you'll hear, when she is not meditating, she is a gifted storyteller. She self-deprecatingly refers to it as "boundless talk-aremia," but I suspect that, for you, listening to Sylvia will, in itself, be a source of delight. Where to find Sylvia Boorstein online: Website: http://www.sylviaboorstein.com/ Social Media: Twitter: @SylviaBoorstein https://twitter.com/sylviaboorstein Facebook: Sylvia Boorstein - https://www.facebook.com/sylviaboorstein/ Book Mentioned: Pay Attention, for Goodness' Sake by Sylvia Boorstein - http://www.sylviaboorstein.com/books Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sylvia-boorstein-237 Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care
8 Apr 20201h 7min
