White People, Drop the Shame and Get Curious | Shelly Graf

White People, Drop the Shame and Get Curious | Shelly Graf

In this episode, we go there. All the way there. All those horrifying little thoughts that white people might have - eg: Have you ever felt superior to, or suspicious of, black people? - let's drag them out of the subconscious and look at them. We don't need to submerge them or swat them away. But here's the thing: can we do it with some semblance of mindfulness and even friendliness? This isn't an exercise in ritual shaming; guilt and shame are just self-centeredness cul-de-sacs. After all, we didn't summon these thoughts; they were injected into us by the culture. So fellow white people, instead of just looking at the race discussion as something supremely discomfiting, let's also look at it as an opportunity to do what we’ve been attempting to do in meditation all along: to know our minds better so that we don’t blindly act out all of our conditioning. Our guest this week is the magnificent Shelly Graf. Shelly was recommended to me by my TPH colleague, Matthew Hepburn. Shelly is a social worker and a staff dharma teacher at the Common Ground Meditation Center in Minneapolis. To be clear, Shelly doesn't pretend to be an expert who has it all figured out - simply a meditation teacher who has committed to deeply engaging on the issue of race. So in that spirit, here we go: Shelly Graf. Where to find Shelly Graf online: Website: https://commongroundmeditation.org/ STwitter: https://twitter.com/cgmed Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CommonGroundMeditation/ Check our our new, free collection of meditations called Relating to Race in the Ten Percent Happier app: https://10percenthappier.app.link/RelatingToRace Other Resources Mentioned: Refuge (Buddhism) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Refuge_(Buddhism) Karma in Buddhism - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karma_in_Buddhism Maitr? - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maitr%C4%AB Ruth King - https://ruthking.net/ Episode 164: Ruth King, Being Mindful of Race - https://open.spotify.com/episode/5p3BTgqKgke7PYSUbzvPrR Three Marks of Existence: Anicca, Dukkha, Anatta - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_marks_of_existence M?na - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M%C4%81na Common Ground Meditation Center - https://commongroundmeditation.org/ The Characteristics of White Supremacy Culture - https://www.showingupforracialjustice.org/white-supremacy-culture-characteristics.html Detour-Spotting for White Anti-Racists - https://www.racialequitytools.org/resourcefiles/olson.pdf List of resources from Resmaa Menakem - https://www.resmaa.com/resources Racial Affinity Group Development Program - https://ruthking.net/learning-with-ruth/ra-gdp/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/shelly-graf-256

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Elizabeth Cutler, SoulCycle Co-Founder

Elizabeth Cutler, SoulCycle Co-Founder

After having two kids, Elizabeth Cutler had a friend suggest she try spin classes as a way to lose weight and less than a year later, she and her business partner Julie Rice launched SoulCycle. After the pair sold the multimillion-dollar company in 2016, Cutler decided to take her family on sabbatical, pulling her kids out of school so they could take classes online as they traveled all over the world, and all the while she tried to keep a regular morning meditation routine.

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Culture Abuse, Finding Peace in Punk Rock

Culture Abuse, Finding Peace in Punk Rock

For a long time, Culture Abuse's 31-year-old frontman David Kelling didn't want to perform in public. As all five members of the San Francisco-based punk band opened up about things they've tried to work through, Kelling, who has Cerebral palsy, said he felt that the frontman is "supposed to be good looking, in shape and this and that ... and so it is hard" when he "didn't really have any examples" of lead singer/songwriters who played with disabilities, and now that the band goes on tour, he added that "it's also hard to be the person now that is an example."

1 Aug 20181h 13min

Light Watkins, 'Simplify the Approach'

Light Watkins, 'Simplify the Approach'

"There was more snowstorms than meditators in Alabama when I was growing up," said Light Watkins, who started a career as a working model before switching gears to become a yoga teacher and then dove into the world of Vedic meditation. With his newest book, "Bliss More, How to Succeed in Meditation Without Really Trying," Watkins, who is now a meditation teacher and lives as a nomad, said his mission is to "simplify the approach" to meditation "and help people start something that they can get excited about."

25 Juli 20181h 2min

Spring Washam, 'What Was Creating All This Suffering?'

Spring Washam, 'What Was Creating All This Suffering?'

Spring Washam was on a meditation retreat when she felt herself falling apart, so much so that she picked up "the red phone," screamed out "HELP." That moment launched Washam onto a "whole other journey" to work through her past and find sources of her suffering, which she details in her book, "A Fierce Heart: Finding Strength, Wisdom, and Courage in Any Moment."

18 Juli 20181h 8min

Scott Edelstein, When Spiritual Leaders 'Stray'

Scott Edelstein, When Spiritual Leaders 'Stray'

Spiritual leaders often have great influence over their followers but there are times, author Scott Edelstein says, when some leaders will use their position of power to manipulate, shame and abuse others. Edelstein discusses how spiritual leaders can "stray," even become predatory, and suggests ways for a healthy student-teacher relationships, which he lays out in his book, "Sex and the Spiritual Teacher."

11 Juli 20181h 5min

Jeremy Richman, 'There Is Hope in Helping'

Jeremy Richman, 'There Is Hope in Helping'

Jeremy Richman remembers his daughter Avielle as a fun spirit with "this unbelievable smile that she would just give out to anybody," who was as happy playing dress-up as a fairy at a ball as she was practicing Kung Fu and shooting a bow and arrow outside. Avielle was killed with 19 of her classmates and six educators in the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in Newtown, Connecticut, and in her memory, the Richmans started The Avielle Foundation, which funds research on brain health and causations for violent behaviors.

4 Juli 20181h 3min

Alison Wright, World-Traveling Photographer

Alison Wright, World-Traveling Photographer

Her body badly broken in a horrific bus crash in Laos, Alison Wright was still trying to breathe as she realized that she may not make it out alive. But not only did she survive, the award-winning National Geographic photographer called upon her years of meditation practice to keep breathing as she re-learned how to walk, overcame months of debilitating pain, climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro and even got back on a bus in Laos, all of which she details in her memoir, "Learning to Breathe: One Woman's Journey of Spirit and Survival."

27 Juni 20181h 8min

Scott Norton, The Condiments Guy Who Meditates

Scott Norton, The Condiments Guy Who Meditates

Since invading the condiments market with Sir Kensington's, a line of ketchup, mustard and other spreads, company co-founder Scott Norton said meditation has helped him slow down and have better self-assessment under the stress of managing a start-up.

20 Juni 201851min

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