How (and Why) to Hack Your Empathy | Jamil Zaki

How (and Why) to Hack Your Empathy | Jamil Zaki

Kindness and empathy are loaded propositions right now. When you hear those words, you might think: Eh, those are soft skills that won’t help me get ahead. Or: If I’m too nice, I will get trampled. Or: I need my anger to be effective. Or: I am plenty nice -- it’s other people who need to up their game. My guest today will push back on all of these reservations, and tell us how -- and why -- to, as he says, “hack your empathy.” Jamil Zaki is a psychologist and director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab. He wrote a book called, The War for Kindness. In this conversation, we talk about how our modern culture is suffering from an “empathy deficit”; why he believes selfishness is a sickness; how to avoid empathy burnout; and the academic criticism that empathy is actually an outmoded and unreliable human capacity. Where to find Jamil Zaki online: Website: https://www.warforkindness.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/zakijam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/warforkindness/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/warforkindness/ Full shownotes and list of other resources mentioned: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jamil-zaki-298

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How Are You Contributing To What Is Not Working In Your Love Life? Hard Truths From Relationship Coach Jillian Turecki.

How Are You Contributing To What Is Not Working In Your Love Life? Hard Truths From Relationship Coach Jillian Turecki.

Why self-inquiry is the first ingredient to a healthy relationship.   Jillian Turecki is a renowned relationship coach, teacher, author, and host of the podcast, Jillian On Love. Fueled by an insatiable curiosity about what makes a relationship thrive, Jillian has helped thousands over the last 20 years through her teachings, courses, and writing to revolutionize their relationship with themselves so that they transform their romantic relationships.    In this episode we talk about: The difference between lust and love How to make the idea of self love more than an empty cliché How to be honest with your partner The myth of finding “the one” How to be your best self even after you’ve exited the honeymoon stage  And why, if you want a successful relationship, you have to make peace with your parents   Related Episodes: #510. Me, a Love Story: How Being OK With Yourself Makes You Better at Everything | Sharon Salzberg #464. How to Keep Friendships From Imploding | Esther Perel Esther Perel on the One Thing That Will Improve the Quality of Your Life   Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

10 Feb 1h 6min

How Not To Torpedo Your Relationships | Dan Solo Episode

How Not To Torpedo Your Relationships | Dan Solo Episode

Data-driven, dharma-informed, Dan-tested strategies for improving relationships of all kinds.  In this episode we talk about: The value of having platonic friends in addition to your spouse or partner A key communication skill that Dan picked up from the writer and researcher Brené Brown How humor can help your relationships – and how it can hurt A cognitive reframe from couples therapist Esther Perel How to manage conflict in a healthy way And one of Dan’s favorite Saturday Night Live sketches: Man Park   Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

7 Feb 27min

The Science of Emotion Regulation: How It Impacts Health, Performance, and Relationships. | Ethan Kross

The Science of Emotion Regulation: How It Impacts Health, Performance, and Relationships. | Ethan Kross

Practical strategies for managing our emotional lives.   Dr. Ethan Kross, author of the international bestseller Chatter, is one of the world’s leading experts on emotion regulation. An award-winning professor in the University of Michigan’s top ranked Psychology Department and its Ross School of Business, he is the Director of the Emotion and Self-Control Laboratory.     In this episode we talk about: What an emotion actually is  The myth that we should only experience positive emotions  Why sometimes avoidance is a smart strategy The six emotional "shifters" we can use to regulate our emotions The role of our senses How to use mental time travel to shift perspective And the role of our surroundings, relationships, and culture      Related Episodes: #365 The Voice in Your Head | Ethan Kross The Neuroscience Of: Emotional Regulation, Relationships, Body Image, And Intuition | Emma Seppälä   Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

5 Feb 1h 17min

9 Ways To Break Free From the Habits That Are Holding You Back | Dr. Rangan Chatterjee

9 Ways To Break Free From the Habits That Are Holding You Back | Dr. Rangan Chatterjee

How your reliance on being liked, being comfortable, and being perfect is blocking you from making the change you want.   Dr. Rangan Chatterjee is one of the most influential doctors in the UK with over two decades of experience. He now hosts Europe's biggest health podcast, Feel Better, Live More, he is the author of 5 Sunday Times bestsellers, he regularly appears on BBC television, national radio and his TED talk, How To Make Disease Disappear, has almost 6 million views.    In this episode we talk about: Why we have an overreliance on experts and perfection Barriers and solutions to long term change How to stop people pleasing (or become a “people pleaser in recovery”) Tips for neutralizing emotional discomfort and stress The "life is an escalator" myth, and our relationship with complaining  How to adapt to adversity without feeding our bad habits Escaping the trap of busyness And much more     Related Episodes: Why Your Bad Habits (and Addictions) May Be Getting Worse - and How Mindfulness Can Help | Dr. Jud Brewer How To Actually Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions | Dan Solo Episode   Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

3 Feb 1h 19min

Buddhist Strategies For Reducing Everyday Addictions (To Your Phone, Food, Booze, And More) | Sister Dang Nghiem

Buddhist Strategies For Reducing Everyday Addictions (To Your Phone, Food, Booze, And More) | Sister Dang Nghiem

A Buddhist doctor/nun on how we’re all addicted to something—and how to reduce craving.   Sister Dang Nghiem, MD, (“Sister D”) was born in 1968 in Vietnam during the Tet Offensive, the daughter of a Vietnamese mother and an American soldier. She lost her mother at the age of twelve and immigrated to the United States at the age of seventeen with her brother. Living in various foster homes, she learned English and went on to earn a medical degree from the University of California – San Francisco. After suffering further tragedy and loss, she quit her practice as a doctor to travel to Plum Village monastery in France founded by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, where she was ordained a nun in 2000, and given the name Dang Nghiem, which means adornment with nondiscrimination. She is the author of a memoir, Healing: A Woman’s Journey from Doctor to Nun (2010), and Mindfulness as Medicine: A Story of Healing and Spirit (2015).   This episode is part of our monthlong Do Life Better series.  We talk about:   Sister D’s Buddhist version of the 12 step program, which is a combination of two canonical buddhist lists: the 4 Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path How willpower doesn’t fit into the Buddhist path of understanding and working with addiction  How to change addiction at its root Practical applications of mindfulness Self-compassion The importance of social support Her thoughts on our relationships to our phones  And more   Related Episodes: Do Life Better This Episode Will Make You Stronger | Sister Dang Nghiem The Science Of Manifestation | James Doty   Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes

29 Jan 1h 11min

Buddhist Neuroscientist On: How To Quit Bad Habits And Why You’re Not Keeping Your Resolutions | Dr. Judson Brewer

Buddhist Neuroscientist On: How To Quit Bad Habits And Why You’re Not Keeping Your Resolutions | Dr. Judson Brewer

How to use your innate mindfulness to turn the volume down, or even uproot, your everyday addictions.   Dr. Judson Brewer is the Director of Research and Innovation at the Mindfulness Center and professor in Behavioral and Social Sciences and Psychiatry at the Schools of Public Health & Medicine at Brown University. He is the author of several books, including The Craving Mind, Unwinding Anxiety, and The Hunger Habit.   This episode is part of our monthlong Do Life Better series.  We talk about: Jud’s definition of addiction The difference between the scientific view and the Buddhist view on addiction The buddhist concept of Dependent origination Dopamine and dopamine fasting A three gear plan for sticking to your resolutions  Judson’s disenchantment with the term “mindfulness” What we need to know about willpower The two types of stress – and its impact on our behavior  What makes us resilient – and why it matters How community plays a role in making habit changes And finally, a friendly debate on whether there is such a thing as healthy anger?     Related Episodes: Do Life Better Get Fit Sanely The Anti-Diet | Evelyn Tribole The Science of Why You Eat When You're Not Hungry–And How to Stop | Judson Brewer Modern Life Is Making You Sick, but It Doesn't Have To | Gabor Maté Why We're All Suffering from Racial Trauma (Even White People) -- and How to Handle It | Resmaa Menakem I Just Went Through A Career Earthquake: This Is What's Next. How to Break Your Anxiety Habit | Judson Brewer    Sign up for Dan’s newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes     Full Shownotes: https://www.meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/judson-brewer-898     Additional Resources: MindShift Recovery

27 Jan 1h 15min

The Psychology Of Success | Guy Raz

The Psychology Of Success | Guy Raz

A podcast pioneer on failure, resilience, luck, work/life balance, and the power of questions.   Guy Raz has been instrumental in creating some of the most iconic podcasts in the world, including Wondery's How I Built This, Wow in the World and TED Radio Hour. The New York Times has described him as “one of the most popular podcasters in history.”    This episode is part of our monthlong Do Life Better series.    We talk about: The challenge–and gift–of failure Getting comfortable with discomfort and risk The notion of luck  The balance between your relationships and your work  Why scale isn’t always the answer  Success vs. happiness  And much more   Related Episodes: Do Life Better Sanely Ambitious  #321 The Joy of Being Wrong | Adam Grant Rethinking Success | Mia Birdsong   Sign up for Dan’s newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes   Full Shownotes: https://meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/guy-raz-896

24 Jan 1h 5min

Buddhist Executive Coach On: Professional Anxiety, Workplace Conflict, And The Power Of Mindfulness | Nolitha Tsengiwe

Buddhist Executive Coach On: Professional Anxiety, Workplace Conflict, And The Power Of Mindfulness | Nolitha Tsengiwe

How to be less stressed and more productive.   Nolitha Tsengiwe, a Dharma teacher and board member at Dharmagiri Retreat Center, in South Africa. She is also a graduate of Insight Meditation Society teacher training.   This episode is part of our monthlong Do Life Better series.  In this episode we talk about: How to weave mindfulness into your day without requiring a big formal sit How to have healthy conflict in the workplace Our attempts to explain the ineffable And much more   Related Episodes: Do Life Better Sanely Ambitious   Sign up for Dan’s newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes     Full Shownotes: https://www.meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/nolitha-895     Additional Resources: Listen to Nolitha’s talks on DharmaSeed

22 Jan 1h 8min

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