A Meditator in the Arena | Sam Harris

I, like many people, have the potential to get pretty dysregulated around food and body image. A lot of men don’t talk about this stuff, but there is plenty of evidence that this is a unisex issue. Especially during the holidays, when we’re surrounded by treats and stress-eating because we can’t see our family, or we can -- and they’re making us crazy.  This interview you’re about to hear changed my life. That’s an overused phrase, but in this case, it happens to be true. I came into this conversation with a rather hostile attitude toward my own body, filled with unrealistic expectations and unsustainable restrictions. Over the course of this encounter, you will hear my mind start to change. And ever since this interview was recorded, about a year ago, I have been working one-on-one with my guest, Evelyn Tribole, on these issues.  Evelyn is the co-creator of something called “Intuitive Eating,” which you can think of as kind of the anti-diet. Diets, she argues, do not work. Worse, they lead us to mistrust our bodies, so we misread their signals and don’t even know when we’re hungry or when we’re full. Her approach is backed by science, and powered by mindfulness.  Where to find Evelyn Tribole online:  Website: https://www.evelyntribole.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/etribole Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/evelyn.tribole Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evelyntribole/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcfkldY3O0ly3XRh9B8Wt9A Excited about our upcoming New Year's Challenge? Download the Ten Percent Happier app today to get ready: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/evelyn-tribole-repost

23 Dec 20201h 25min

Vulnerability is not something I ever personally considered to be a valuable skill to cultivate. That is, until I met today’s guest, Brené Brown-- who helped me understand that being vulnerable is not about weakness, nor is it about sloppy oversharing. Instead, she argues, vulnerability is about honesty, realness, risk, and courage. All qualities that are very relevant for these turbulent times in which we are living.  Brené is a speaker, author, podcaster, professor, and researcher who has spent 2 decades studying vulnerability and courage, along with shame and empathy. She’s written 5 number 1 New York Times best sellers. She’s had a special on Netflix. And she’s spoken to a lot of high-achieving people about the importance of vulnerability, from executive suites to the CIA to the Seattle Seahawks.  We recorded this conversation in 2019, during a simpler time… but her insights are evergreen. Where to find Brené Brown online:  Website: https://brenebrown.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/BreneBrown Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brenebrown Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brenebrown Excited about our upcoming New Year's Challenge? Download the Ten Percent Happier app today to get ready: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install  Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/brene-brown-repost

21 Dec 20201h 5min

I don’t know about you, but there have been many times during this wrenching year where I have made my pain even worse by adding on layers and layers of self-criticism. There’s a notion that is deeply ingrained in our culture that the only way to succeed -- or even to survive -- is to liberally apply an internal cattle prod. But there is research that strongly suggests that this approach simply leads to extra anxiety, and that there is a more successful approach, called self-compassion. My guest today has been at the very forefront of this research. Kristin Neff has empirically demonstrated the value of self-compassion; she has shown that it doesn’t have to lead to passivity, self-absorption, or cheesiness; and, as you will hear, she has practiced what she preaches in extremely difficult circumstances in her own life. All of this makes her, in my opinion, a figure of incalculable importance. We recorded this interview back in 2019, and it contributed to a major turning point in my meditation practice and in my life. We are reposting it now because as we head into the new year, a time when many of us embark on self-improvement projects based in self-loathing, we could all use a little kryptonite for the inner critic.  Where to find Kristin Neff online:  Website: https://self-compassion.org Twitter: https://twitter.com/self_compassion  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/selfcompassion  At this point in the holiday season, mail delivery and shipping timelines are not on your side. For a quick and meaningful gift, send a gift subscription to the Ten Percent Happier app to your friends and family! We're offering gift subscriptions at a discount through the end of this month. No shipping required - your gift will be delivered directly to your email inbox. Get a gift subscription by visiting www.tenpercent.com/gift. That’s tenpercent (one word, all spelled out) dot com slash gift. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kristin-neff

16 Dec 20201h 22min

The notion of transmuting the difficult stuff in your life into something positive has become a cliche. Turning lemon into lemonades, making your mess your message, etcetera. But, as I have said many times on this show, there is a reason cliches become cliches: they’re true. And it is extraordinarily helpful, in my experience, when someone can re-language and revivify an ancient truth that has been ground into platitude through rote repetition. My guest today does just that. Fleet Maull spent many years in prison on serious drug-related charges. He used that time to fuel a deep meditation practice and public service career. He’s practiced for nearly five decades in the Zen, Tibetan, and Vipassana Insight traditions. He’s also written a book called Radical Responsibility. In this episode, we talk about how to, in his words, turn the gnarly stuff in your life into a gift (or, as an old Buddhist expression has it, how to use your struggles as “manure for enlightenment”). On that note, midway through the interview, you’ll hear Fleet reveal, in real time, and to my surprise, that he is actually in the throes of acute anguish at this very moment-- and he will talk about how this experience is fueling his practice. We also talk about: what he learned in prison about whether human nature is fundamentally good; the value of adding breathing exercises onto your meditation practice; what he means by “neurosomatic mindfulness.” Where to find Fleet Maull online:  Website: www.fleetmaull.com Social Media: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/fleetmaull • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fleetmaull/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fleetmaull/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_AqFCn3m6lvQTJPIx_uLg Books Mentioned: • Radical Responsibility: How to Move Beyond Blame, Fearlessly Live Your Highest Purpose, and Become an Unstoppable Force for Good by Fleet Maull: www.radicalresponsibilitybook.com • Mindfulness and Psychotherapy edited by Christopher K. Germer, Ronald D. Siegel, Paul R. Fulton: https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781593851392 People are sending more virtual gifts this holiday season to avoid putting themselves (and essential delivery workers) at risk. If you're one of them, consider helping your loved ones care for their minds by giving them a subscription to the Ten Percent Happier app. We're offering gift subscriptions at a discount through the end of this month. No shipping required - your gift will be delivered directly to your email inbox. Get a gift subscription by visiting www.tenpercent.com/gift. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/fleet-maull-308

14 Dec 20201h 8min

How much would your relationships improve if you could up your emotional intelligence game? That phrase -- emotional intelligence -- entered the lexicon 25 years ago, when my friend Daniel Goleman wrote a book by the same name. And so on this episode, to mark the 25th anniversary edition of Emotional Intelligence, we’re having Danny on the show. By way of background, he is a Harvard-trained psychologist who, along with other contemplative luminaries such as Joseph Goldstein, Sharon Salzberg, Jon Kabat-Zinn, and others, went to Asia and discovered meditation in the 1960s, and then made it a huge part of their lives and careers. In this conversation, we talk about: the four components of emotional intelligence, how to develop them, and why these skills matter so much during the middle of a pandemic. We also discuss: empathy and relationship management in the age of zoom; the “marshmallow test” and impulse control; a phenomenon he calls “amygdala hijacks”; and why so many Jewish kids in the sixties and seventies got turned on to Buddhism.   Where to find Daniel Goleman online:  Website: http://www.danielgoleman.info Twitter: https://twitter.com/DanielGolemanEI Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/danielgoleman Books Mentioned: Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain, and Body by Richie Davidson https://www.richardjdavidson.com/altered-traits Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl https://bookshop.org/books/man-s-search-for-meaning-9780807014271/9780807014271 A Force for Good: The Dalai Lama's Vision for Our World by Daniel Goleman https://bookshop.org/books/a-force-for-good-the-dalai-lama-s-vision-for-our-world/9780553394894 How much could your relationships improve if your loved ones practiced mindfulness together? For a limited time, if you buy yourself a subscription to Ten Percent Happier, we'll send you a free gift subscription to share with whomever you'd like. Note that nothing is permanent, and this offer is no exception: get it before it ends by going to www.tenpercent.com/december.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/daniel-goleman-307

9 Dec 202058min

2020 has already sucked extremely hard, but we may now be entering even more difficult months ahead, as winter sets in. So we asked Professor Laurie Santos to come on. She is overflowing with science-based strategies for navigating this difficult time. This is the second episode in our 2-part series that we’re semi-facetiously calling Winter is Coming. If you missed last week’s episode with Zindel Segal, a pioneer in mindful treatment for depression and anxiety, go check it out. Laurie is a tenured professor at Yale, where she teaches a blockbuster course on happiness. She’s also now the host of a podcast called the Happiness Lab. In the conversation, we talk about how to handle the holidays in a pandemic; how to have hard conversations with your family; combating pandemic fatigue in your own mind; the need to double down on self-care; why the things we think will make us happy probably won’t; and the cultivation of JOMO and “time affluence.” Take Part in the New Year’s Series To submit a question or share a reflection dial 646-883-8326 and leave us a voicemail. If you’re outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Monday December 7th. Where to find Laurie Santos online: Website: https://psychology.yale.edu/people/laurie-santos Twitter: https://twitter.com/lauriesantos Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/laurie-santos-305

2 Dec 20201h 4min

The women around the Buddha dropped a ton of useful wisdom, but I suspect you haven’t heard much about that. Why? Why have these women been largely written out of history? And what do these hidden figures have to teach us? We’re diving in on that today with Pamela Weiss, dharma teacher in the Zen and Theravada traditions and author of A Bigger Sky. Last week, we had on Bhikkhu Bodhi, who talked about the words of the Buddha. You might think of this episode as a follow-up to that one—part compelling history, part injection of approachable wisdom. In this conversation, we talk about Pamela’s research into the Buddha’s wife, mom, and aunt; how and why Buddhism became tilted toward the masculine; and the benefits both Pamela and I have experienced from bringing more feminine energy to our practice and life. Where to find Pamela Weiss online:  Website: https://pamelaweiss.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PamelaWeissAuthor/ Books Mentioned: A Bigger Sky: Awakening a Fierce Feminine Buddhism by Pamela Weiss https://pamelaweiss.com/publications2 Therigatha: Selected Poems of the First Buddhist Women translated by Charles Hallisey https://bookshop.org/books/therigatha-selected-poems-of-the-first-buddhist-women/9780674427730 The First Free Women: Poems of the Early Buddhist Nuns by Matty Weingast https://bookshop.org/books/the-first-free-women-poems-of-the-early-buddhist-nuns/9781611807769 2020 has been a doozy, so this year we’re offering Ten Percent Happier subscriptions at a 40% discount. Get this deal before it ends on December 1st by going to www.tenpercent.com/november.  Take Part in the New Year’s Series To submit a question or share a reflection dial 646-883-8326 and leave us a voicemail. If you’re outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Monday December 7th.  Full Show Notes & Resources: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/pamela-weiss-304

30 Nov 20201h 5min