A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

Before we dive in, a warning: this conversation includes descriptions of abuse and violence. As you may know, March 8th, the day we’re dropping this episode, is International Women’s Day. We have a story today about intimate violence, which has long been a problem for women around the world, and has only intensified during the pandemic. My guest is Tanya Selvaratnam, a writer and artist who I’ve known socially for many, many years. I was truly shocked when Tanya’s name surfaced in the media three years ago, in connection with the case of Eric Schneiderman. Eric was the celebrated Attorney General of New York State. He was also a regular on the local meditation scene. I knew Eric and Tanya were dating. What I did not know was that, behind the scenes, Eric was allegedly physically and emotionally abusing Tanya. She has now come out with a book, called Assume Nothing, which goes into searing detail about not only the alleged abuse, but also about how she flipped the script, regained her agency, helped bring her alleged abuser down, and how she has healed subsequently -- in no small part through meditation and therapy. Please note: If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, you can find resources curated by Tanya at the “full shownotes” link below. We’d also like to provide more context about the allegations Tanya shares in this interview: When the allegations of abuse against New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman by Tanya and three other women were first made public in The New Yorker in May 2018, Schneiderman quickly resigned. In a statement at the time, he said, “serious allegations, which I strongly contest, have been made against me.” He also said, “While these allegations are unrelated to my professional conduct or the operations of the office, they will effectively prevent me from leading the office’s work at this critical time. I therefore resign my office.” After a six-month investigation, prosecutors declined to bring criminal charges against Schneiderman, citing legal impediments, including statutes of limitations. But the district attorney assigned to the case by Governor Andrew Cuomo also said that she “believed the women who shared their experiences” with investigators. In response, Schneiderman said, "I recognize that District Attorney Singas' decision not to prosecute does not mean I have done nothing wrong. I accept full responsibility for my conduct in my relationships with my accusers, and for the impact it had on them." I should also note that our team reached out to Eric Schneiderman and that he declined to comment for this episode. Two more items: First, remember to check out “In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson,” a new podcast from ABC News, on Apple Podcasts (https://apple.co/ladybird), Spotify (https://spoti.fi/3ukYgoq), or wherever you’re listening now. Finally, we are looking for a podcast marketer at Ten Percent Happier. If you love this show, marketing, and building relationships, we would love to have you on the team to help us grow Ten Percent Happier and our future shows. Please apply at https://www.tenpercent.com/careers. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tanya-selvaratnam-328

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Chef Eric Ripert

Chef Eric Ripert

Chef Eric Ripert, of the famed Le Bernardin in New York City, is one of the world's best chefs, an Emmy-winning cooking show host and a cookbook author. But while Ripert was building a name for himself in the heat and the stress of a fine-dining restaurant kitchen, he also became a practicing Buddhist. The chef sat down with Dan Harris to talk about his daily meditation rituals, how he found Buddhism after being raised Catholic, and how he got to where he is today.

7 Sep 201650min

The Minimalists, Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus

The Minimalists, Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus

Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus have been through a lot together. They grew up together in Dayton, Ohio, both in families that struggled to make ends meet. They went on to climb the corporate ladder together and both made a comfortable living. So when Josh discovered minimalism, a practice in which you rid yourself of excess stuff to focus on personal happiness, it wasn't long before Ryan joined him. Today, the two childhood friends live in Montana and host a podcast, a website and have a film called "Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things," all devoted to capturing their minimalism experiences and to help others discover the practice.

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Dr. Michael Gervais, Sports Psychologist

Dr. Michael Gervais, Sports Psychologist

Mike Gervais is a high-performance sports psychologist who works with athletes, most famously as the mindfulness coach for the Seattle Seahawks, on training the mind and body to work together under the intense pressure of competition. Gervais has helped pro-basketball players, golfers, swimmers, snowboarders, volleyball Olympians, hall of famers and a host of other elite athletes find new approaches to reaching peak performance from within. He talks with athletes and entrepreneurs about their experiences on his podcast, "Finding Mastery."

24 Aug 20161h 6min

Jesse Israel

Jesse Israel

A few years ago, Jesse Israel was a sophomore film student who had just signed an up-and-coming college band to a record label he co-founded out of his dorm room. Israel built that record label into a successful company -- then he decided to walk away from all of it and looked into ways he could "bring people together through shared interest." After toying with a few ideas, Israel came up with a plan to start a community for young adults to meet, meditate and "share quiet," he said.

17 Aug 201658min

Dr. Richard Davidson

Dr. Richard Davidson

Dr. Richie Davidson, a neuroscientist at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and founder of the Center for Healthy Minds, has been meditating for over 40 years. But it was the Dalai Lama himself who convinced Davidson to dedicate his life to researching the effects of meditation on the brain. Early in his career, Davidson said he "became a closet meditator" and the Dalai Lama "played a major role in me coming out of the closet and encouraging serious scientific research in this area." Davidson's team flew in monks from Tibet and Nepal for the study and asked them to meditate while undergoing scans. When they first looked at the scans, Davidson said the results were shocking.

10 Aug 20161h 5min

Oren J. Sofer

Oren J. Sofer

Oren J. Sofer, a former child actor turned longtime meditation teacher, was a 19-year-old college student in New York City when he said he felt things in his life were falling apart. "And I had heard about people going to India for study abroad and I had found out about a program where you wake up, 5am every morning, stay at a monastery, meditate twice a day, no drugs, no sex, no alcohol, and I just said, 'Sign me up,'" Sofer said. Fast forward to present day and now one of Sofer's specialties as a meditation teacher is showing people how to use Mindfulness to be better communicators.

3 Aug 20161h 8min

Mingyur Rinpoche

Mingyur Rinpoche

Mingyur Rinpoche, the author of "The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness," is a study of contradictions. On one hand, he's been formally recognized as the reincarnation of two Tibetan meditation masters. On the other hand, he has been working with scientists to design research around the impact meditation can have on the brain. In fact, he and other practitioners had their brain activity measured while meditating on compassion and the researchers were stunned by the results. Mingyur also freely admits that he suffered from anxiety and panic attacks as a child, and talks about how he turned to meditation for help.

27 Juli 20161h

Dan Ryckert

Dan Ryckert

Dan Ryckert works in an industry where you wouldn't imagine there would be a whole lot of meditation: Video games. Ryckert is a senior editor at the popular video game website, Giant Bomb, and he's the author of "Anxiety as an Ally: How I Turned a Worried Mind into My Best Friend." Ryckert's raw memoir details his struggles with anxiety and panic attacks, from trying to find a diagnosis and then with learning how to deal with the attacks in his personal and professional life, and then how he eventually turned to meditation.

20 Juli 201650min

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