The Art and Science of the World’s Gooiest Cliche | Barbara Fredrickson

The Art and Science of the World’s Gooiest Cliche | Barbara Fredrickson

One of our primary missions on this show is to rescue vital ideas that have lapsed into cliches. There are so many important concepts out there that many of us might be tempted to dismiss because they are encrusted with cultural baggage or have been reduced to potentially annoying or sappy slogans. So, for example, we’ve talked a lot on this podcast about things like: hope, gratitude, and “listening to your body.” All of which can sound like the type of empty bromide that your spin instructor yells at you while encouraging you to pedal faster. But, in fact, these are all incredibly important operating principles for a healthy life. And, not for nothing, they are all backed up by hard science. So today we’re going to tackle what may be the oldest and gooieset cliche of them all: love. The word has been ruined, in many ways, by Hollywood and pop songs. For many of us, the mere mention of the word conjures images of Tom Cruise, with tears in his eyes, while the string music swells, declaring, “You complete me.” But in my view, and in the view of my guest today, love needs to be usefully defined down. In other words, we need to knock love off its plinth, and apply it to a much wider range of human interactions. We also need to think of love not as something magical that requires luck or money or looks, but instead as a trainable skill -- one with profound implications for our health. Barbara Fredrickson is the Kenan Distinguished Professor in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She has written two books: one is called Positivity, the other is called Love 2.0. In this interview, we talk about how she defines love, based on her research; how meditation can help build this skill; how taking a few extra minutes to chat with people, even if you feel busy, can have psychological, physiological, and even professional benefits; and how to manage social anxiety as we emerge from our Covid cocoons. This episode is actually part one of a two-part series running this week on social connection. Coming up on Wednesday, we’ll hear from Marissa King, a professor at Yale who studies how to create social networks, even when it feels uncomfortable. And by social network, I don't mean something like Facebook. I mean actual networks of actual human beings that you see in person. She’s got a lot of practical and actionable advice about how to do that, even within the context of Covid. So be sure to listen in on Wednesday. One more item of business, and it is an invitation for you to participate in this show. In June, we’ll be launching a special series of podcast episodes focusing on anxiety, something I’m sure we’re all too familiar with. In this series, you’ll become intimately familiar with the mechanics of anxiety: how and why it shows up, and what you may be doing to feed it. And this is where you come in. We’d love to hear from you with your questions about anxiety that experts will answer during our anxiety series on the podcast. So whether you’re struggling with social anxiety, anxiety about re-entering the world post-Covid, or have any other questions about anxiety - we want to hear from you. To submit a question or share a reflection call (646) 883-8326 and leave us a voicemail with your name and phone number. If you’re outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday, May 12th. And if you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, download it for free wherever you get your apps or by clicking here: https://www.tenpercent.com/?_branch_match_id=888540266380716858. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/barbara-fredrickson-341

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A Wise and Counterintuitive Way to Meditate in a Crisis | Lama Rod Owens

A Wise and Counterintuitive Way to Meditate in a Crisis | Lama Rod Owens

If you’re either seething or scared — or both — in the aftermath of the attack on the US Capitol, this one’s for you. In times of national and international strife, we’ve made it a habit of turning to Lama Rod Owens. Rod was officially recognized as a lama by the Kagyu school of Tibetan Buddhism after doing a three-year retreat. He has a Master of Divinity degree from Harvard. And he has written several books, including his newest, which is called Love and Rage. In this conversation, which we recorded just yesterday, we talk about how to work with the anger and fear many of us are feeling right now. We also talk about how to communicate with people with whom we disagree; how to strategically divest from people and technologies that are depleting us (rather than self-medicating with distraction); and why the most important way to play a constructive role right now — although this may be counterintuitive for some people — is to start with yourself. Where to find Lama Rod Owens online:  Website: https://www.lamarod.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/LamaRod1 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lamarod/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lamarodowens/ Book Mentioned: Love and Rage: The Path of Liberation Through Anger by Lama Rod Owens https://bookshop.org/books/love-and-rage-the-path-of-liberation-through-anger-9781623174095/9781623174095 Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lama-rod-314

11 Jan 20211h 5min

National Trauma–Now What? | Jon Kabat-Zinn Special Edition

National Trauma–Now What? | Jon Kabat-Zinn Special Edition

I don't know about you, but I felt a lot of anger, fear, and sadness while watching those horrifying images from the United States Capitol on Wednesday. So how do we handle this with some degree of equanimity? That's what we're going to talk about today. It's Friday, which is when we usually post bonus meditations or talks, but given the collective trauma we are living through -- both in the US and around the world -- we wanted to post a special episode. I'll be honest... as a journalist and as a meditation evangelist, I can't sit here and guarantee that everything's going to be alright. I suspect it will be, but -- really -- I don't know. What I do know, though, is that meditation -- taking care of your own mind -- will help you navigate this moment more skillfully. And if enough of us do this, it might impact the course of events.  You know who agrees with me? Jon Kabat-Zinn. He's a towering figure in the world of meditation and mental health. He created Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, a way of teaching meditation that brought the practice into the secular mainstream and resulted in an explosion of scientific research demonstrating the benefits of the practice. He's written such books as Wherever You Go, There You Are and Full Catastrophe Living. And he's a Professor of Medicine Emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. How to join the New Year’s Challenge: Join the New Year's Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app : https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account. If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21 Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jon-kabat-zinn-313

8 Jan 202159min

You're Doing Resolutions Wrong. Here’s How to Fix It. | Dr. Laurie Santos

You're Doing Resolutions Wrong. Here’s How to Fix It. | Dr. Laurie Santos

New Year’s Series Episode 4. Today we’re going to dive into the science behind why so many of us get New Year's resolutions so wrong -- and how we can do better. My guest is Dr. Laurie Santos. As you may remember, she made her debut on this show just over a month ago, in an episode about how to handle the pandemic winter blues. She was such a font of practical wisdom that we almost immediately invited her back.  Laurie is a tenured psychology professor at Yale, where she teaches a massively popular course on happiness. She also hosts an excellent podcast called The Happiness Lab, where right now, she’s doing a series of episodes along a very similar theme--what she’s calling “anti-resolutions”--so I definitely recommend checking that out.  In today’s conversation, we talk about why resolutions are a thing in the first place; why they so often go pear-shaped; and common pitfalls and misunderstandings in our attempts to lose weight, exercise more, or make more money. As we’ve been stressing in our New Year’s series, Laurie argues that one powerful antidote to our resolution morass is self-compassion. As we’ve been saying throughout our series, the research shows that self-compassion is much better fuel for habit change than our usual mode of shame. I have been referring to it as a kind of uber-habit, out of which all other habits can flow.  Join Laurie Santos in the New Year’s Challenge: https://challenges.tenpercent.com/?challenge=new-years-2021&challenge_invite=gDTcpTfZgSdFXZvhtG6u3sSe&challenge_title=New%20Year%27s%20Challenge    How to join the New Year’s Challenge: Join the New Year's Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app : https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account. If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21 Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/laurie-santos-312

6 Jan 202153min

Karamo: How To Actually Do Self-Love

Karamo: How To Actually Do Self-Love

New Year’s Series Episode 3. We talk with Karamo about how to practice self-love--and why doing so is the opposite of selfish.   Karamo was the first out gay Black man on reality TV when he appeared on MTV’s The Real World: Philadelphia in 2004. But then he left TV and found out he was a father. He got custody of his son, adopted his son’s half-brother, and worked for a decade as a social worker before returning to the media world. He’s now the Culture expert on Netflix’s blockbuster reboot of Queer Eye. He also hosts his own podcast and is the author of a memoir as well as a children’s book, which he co-wrote with his son.   In today’s conversation, we talk about why, for Karamo, learning to love himself started with learning to love his first name; how he overcame negative messages inside his abusive childhood home; why men struggle so much with the concept of self-love; and the areas in his own life where he struggles the most to practice what he preaches.    How to join the New Year’s Challenge: Join the New Year's Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account.   If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21   Where to find Karamo Brown online:  Website: http://karamobook.com   Social Media: ·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/Karamo ·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Personal-Blog/Karamo-Brown-Page-227323621184576/ ·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karamo ·        YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/Karamobrown ·        Podcast: https://luminary.link/PPiQNuwwicb Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/karamo-311

1 Jan 202142min

The Scientific Case for Self-Compassion | Chris Germer

The Scientific Case for Self-Compassion | Chris Germer

New Year’s Series Episode 2. We talk with Chris Germer about the scientifically-proven benefits of self-compassion; how to practice self-compassion in your life; the disutility of shame; and the connection between self-compassion and compassion for others. Oh, and we also take some listener voicemails.   Chris Germer is a clinical psychologist and lecturer on psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He also co-developed a highly impactful program called Mindful Self-Compassion, which has been taught to over 100,000 people across the world.   How to join the New Year’s Challenge: Join the New Year's Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app : https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account.   If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21   Where to find Chris Germer online:  Website: https://chrisgermer.com   Social Media: ·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CenterForMSC ·        Chris’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christophergermerphd/ ·        Center for Mindful Self Compassion Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/centerformindfulselfcompassion/ ·        YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCObLXaQeAfuhSLPf3IW5Adw Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/chris-germer-310

30 Dec 20201h 13min

The Ultimate New Year's Resolution | Susan Piver and Jeff Warren

The Ultimate New Year's Resolution | Susan Piver and Jeff Warren

New Year’s Series Episode 1. We talk with expert meditation teachers Susan Piver and Jeff Warren about a radical approach to the new year: self-compassion. Susan and Jeff help introduce the New Year’s Meditation Challenge launching in the Ten Percent Happier app. And we respond to listener voicemail questions about how to operationalize self-love in our everyday lives. That’s right, we’re going all-in on self-love: leaning into the cheese, diving into the fondue, surfing the brie (a phrase that you’ll hear one of our guests today coin in real time). But I want to be clear: this is not sap for the sake of sap -- this is sap for the sake of science, and sanity.  As tens of millions of us go about the annual, humiliating ritual of making and then abandoning New Year’s resolutions, there is ample evidence that you are more likely to achieve your long-term goals if you pursue those goals not out of self-loathing or shame (which is the not-so-subtle subtext of the whole ‘New Year, New You’ slogan) but instead with self-love -- or self-compassion. So we have a whole bonanza of programming for you. First, our New Year’s Series starts today here on the podcast. Over the next few weeks, we’ve got a blockbuster lineup, including scientists, meditation teachers, and Karamo, star of the hit Netflix show Queer Eye and a vocal proponent of self-love.    How to join the New Year’s Challenge: ·        Download the Ten Percent Happier app directly in the Apple App Store (for iPhone/iPad): http://apple.co/1V7sqo9 or the Google Play store (for Android phones): https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.changecollective.tenpercenthappier  ·        If you are new to Ten Percent Happier, tap Get Started to register an account. (If you already have an account you’ll need to tap Sign In at the bottom of the screen.) ·        You should be prompted to Join the Challenge after registering your account. Just tap on the Join Challenge button and follow the prompts.  ·        If you don’t join the Challenge during registration, within the app tap the Join Challenge banner at the bottom of the screen and follow the prompts.  ·        If you don’t see Join Challenge in the app you can also join on a mobile device by tapping this link: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21 Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/newyear-challenge-kickoff-309

28 Dec 20201h 7min

The Anti-Diet | Evelyn Tribole (January, 2020)

The Anti-Diet | Evelyn Tribole (January, 2020)

I, like many people, have the potential to get pretty dysregulated around food and body image. A lot of men don’t talk about this stuff, but there is plenty of evidence that this is a unisex issue. Especially during the holidays, when we’re surrounded by treats and stress-eating because we can’t see our family, or we can -- and they’re making us crazy.  This interview you’re about to hear changed my life. That’s an overused phrase, but in this case, it happens to be true. I came into this conversation with a rather hostile attitude toward my own body, filled with unrealistic expectations and unsustainable restrictions. Over the course of this encounter, you will hear my mind start to change. And ever since this interview was recorded, about a year ago, I have been working one-on-one with my guest, Evelyn Tribole, on these issues.  Evelyn is the co-creator of something called “Intuitive Eating,” which you can think of as kind of the anti-diet. Diets, she argues, do not work. Worse, they lead us to mistrust our bodies, so we misread their signals and don’t even know when we’re hungry or when we’re full. Her approach is backed by science, and powered by mindfulness.  Where to find Evelyn Tribole online:  Website: https://www.evelyntribole.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/etribole Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/evelyn.tribole Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evelyntribole/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcfkldY3O0ly3XRh9B8Wt9A Excited about our upcoming New Year's Challenge? Download the Ten Percent Happier app today to get ready: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/evelyn-tribole-repost

23 Dec 20201h 25min

Vulnerability: The Key to Courage | Brené Brown

Vulnerability: The Key to Courage | Brené Brown

Vulnerability is not something I ever personally considered to be a valuable skill to cultivate. That is, until I met today’s guest, Brené Brown-- who helped me understand that being vulnerable is not about weakness, nor is it about sloppy oversharing. Instead, she argues, vulnerability is about honesty, realness, risk, and courage. All qualities that are very relevant for these turbulent times in which we are living.  Brené is a speaker, author, podcaster, professor, and researcher who has spent 2 decades studying vulnerability and courage, along with shame and empathy. She’s written 5 number 1 New York Times best sellers. She’s had a special on Netflix. And she’s spoken to a lot of high-achieving people about the importance of vulnerability, from executive suites to the CIA to the Seattle Seahawks.  We recorded this conversation in 2019, during a simpler time… but her insights are evergreen. Where to find Brené Brown online:  Website: https://brenebrown.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/BreneBrown Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brenebrown Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brenebrown Excited about our upcoming New Year's Challenge? Download the Ten Percent Happier app today to get ready: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install  Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/brene-brown-repost

21 Dec 20201h 5min

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