The Science of Building Better Relationships | Marissa King

The Science of Building Better Relationships | Marissa King

The idea of networking can be fraught. For some people, it might, at times, seem either icky or pathetic to deliberately try to make friends, either in a personal or professional context -- especially since so many of us may be feeling a bit socially awkward anyway, after months of Covid restrictions. However, my guest today will argue that there are profound health benefits to building positive relationships, and she has advice about how to actually do it, based on neuroscience and psychology. Marissa King is a Professor of Organizational Behavior at the Yale School of Management, where she studies social networks, social influence, and team dynamics. She is also the author of a recently-released book, called Social Chemistry: Decoding the Patterns of Human Connection. In this conversation, we talk about: how your social networks impact your mental health; how, when it comes to social networks, quality and structure are more important than quantity; why you’re not as bad at being social as you may think; the importance of humor; how status and privilege play into networking; the benefits of calling up old friends you haven’t spoken to in a while; and she will ask you to consider whether you are a convener, a broker, or an expansionist. This is actually part two of a two-part series that we're running this week about the hard science and soft skills of social connection. If you missed it on Monday, we had an amazing interview with a researcher named Barbara Fredrickson from UNC Chapel Hill. She has a lot of fascinating things to say about what love actually is and takes a pretty broad view of the concept of love. You don't have to listen to that in order to understand this episode, but I think they work great in concert. One more item of business, and it is an invitation for you to participate in this show. In June, we’ll be launching a special series of podcast episodes focusing on anxiety, something I’m sure we’re all too familiar with. In this series, you’ll learn the mechanics of anxiety: how and why it shows up and what you may be doing to feed it. And this is where you come in. We’d love to hear from you with your questions about anxiety that experts will answer during our anxiety series on the podcast. So whether you’re struggling with social anxiety, anxiety about re-entering the world post-Covid, or have any other questions about anxiety - we want to hear from you. To submit a question or share a reflection call (646) 883-8326 and leave us a voicemail. If you’re outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday, May 12th. And if you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, you can download it for free wherever you get your apps or by clicking here: https://www.tenpercent.com/?_branch_match_id=888540266380716858. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marissa-king-342

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Robert Thurman, Renowned Buddhist Scholar

Robert Thurman, Renowned Buddhist Scholar

Bob Thurman, the father of actress Uma Thurman, was one of the first Americans to be ordained as a Tibetan Buddhist monk. He later gave up his robes and is now one of the most famous Buddhist scholars around, having worked with the Dalai Lama for over 50 years and traveled the world lecturing on Buddhist teachings.

7 Dec 20161h 12min

John Mulaney, Comedian Turned Broadway Star

John Mulaney, Comedian Turned Broadway Star

John Mulaney, known for his stand-up comedy and his work on "Saturday Night Live," first turned to meditation while filming a short-lived sitcom that bore his name, "Mulaney." He now has a daily meditation practice, which he often practices in a dark dressing room before he goes on stage for "Oh, Hello," the two-man Broadway show he co-wrote and stars in with fellow comedian Nick Kroll.

30 Nov 201651min

Jessica Morey, Teaching Meditation to Teenagers

Jessica Morey, Teaching Meditation to Teenagers

Jessica Morey has turned what some may see as the impossible -- teaching teenagers how to meditate -- into her life's work. Morey, who attended her first meditation retreat at age 14, is the co-founder and current executive director of Inward-Bound Mindfulness Education, or iBme. It’s a non-profit organization that takes teens to residential retreat centers and out into the woods for hiking and meditation across the United States, Canada and the United Kingdom.

23 Nov 201654min

Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, Renowned Indian Yogi and Mystic

Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, Renowned Indian Yogi and Mystic

Born and raised in India, Sadhguru says he spent his childhood and adolescence as a "super skeptic" who didn’t grow up "with anything spiritual or religious." He spent his days crisscrossing the country on his motorcycle, he launched successful businesses, but then he had an experience in his 20s that changed the direction of his life forever. Sadhguru is now a world renowned yogi and mystic who talks about how ancient yogic practices can be relevant and helpful in contemporary times. He's the founder of the Isha Foundation and the author of "Inner Engineering: A Yogi's Guide to Joy."

16 Nov 201645min

Colin O'Brady, Pro-Endurance Athlete

Colin O'Brady, Pro-Endurance Athlete

Fewer than 50 people have accomplished the Explorer's Grand Slam, a challenge of summiting the highest peaks on each of the seven continents and completing treks to the North and South poles. Colin O'Brady not only completed the EGS this summer, he shattered the world record for it, finishing in just 139 days. O'Brady also set the world record for climbing the seven summits -- summiting Kilimanjaro in just 11.5 hours. Five years ago, a friend suggested he try mediation and recommended a 10-day silent vipassana retreat. At first O'Brady said he looked at meditation like an elite athlete, hoping to train his body and mind for peak performance, but soon discovered meditation gave him a much greater benefit for his daily life.

9 Nov 201642min

Duncan Sheik, '90s Rocker Turned Broadway Composer

Duncan Sheik, '90s Rocker Turned Broadway Composer

Duncan Sheik first made a name for himself in the mid-90s with the hit song, "Barely Breathing," and has since reinvented himself as a Broadway composer. He won two Tonys and a Grammy Award for music he composed for the smash Broadway hit, "Spring Awakening," and he also composed music for Broadway's "American Psycho." But when Sheik first started out, performing on stage made him very nervous and it wasn't until he was introduced to Nichiren Buddhism, which involves the practice of a form of mantra meditation, that he got over his fears.

2 Nov 201645min

Judge Jeremy Fogel, Using Mindfulness on the Bench

Judge Jeremy Fogel, Using Mindfulness on the Bench

About 20 years ago, Judge Jeremy Fogel was serving as a superior court judge in California. But when he felt that it was causing him a lot of stress, he started looking for a way to center himself, and found meditation and yoga. Shortly after he started practicing, he was nominated to become a federal judge and said meditation became a refuge for him. Today, Judge Fogel continues to practice regularly and touts mindfulness as a powerful tool judges can use to help with their decision-making. He is currently serving as the director of the Federal Judicial Center.

26 Okt 201649min

Sebene Selassie, A Life of Service While Fighting Breast Cancer

Sebene Selassie, A Life of Service While Fighting Breast Cancer

Sebene Selassie's career has taken her all over the world. An Ethiopian immigrant, Selassie grew up in the Washington, D.C., area. Her father left her family in the '70s to go back to Ethiopia and became a guerrilla fighter in the Eritrean independence movement. Her brother became a "Hare Krishna" devotee. Selassie, however, found meditation, and started practicing in high school. She studied Comparative Religious studies at McGill University and went on to work with not-for-profits in international development, including in refugee camps in Guinea. She was a self-professed "really bad dharma student," until she was diagnosed with stage-three breast cancer at age 34. Then she says she became "a really good dharma student." Selassie has now survived breast cancer three times and works as a meditation teacher and transformational coach in New York City.

19 Okt 20161h 1min

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