The Science of Building Better Relationships | Marissa King

The Science of Building Better Relationships | Marissa King

The idea of networking can be fraught. For some people, it might, at times, seem either icky or pathetic to deliberately try to make friends, either in a personal or professional context -- especially since so many of us may be feeling a bit socially awkward anyway, after months of Covid restrictions. However, my guest today will argue that there are profound health benefits to building positive relationships, and she has advice about how to actually do it, based on neuroscience and psychology. Marissa King is a Professor of Organizational Behavior at the Yale School of Management, where she studies social networks, social influence, and team dynamics. She is also the author of a recently-released book, called Social Chemistry: Decoding the Patterns of Human Connection. In this conversation, we talk about: how your social networks impact your mental health; how, when it comes to social networks, quality and structure are more important than quantity; why you’re not as bad at being social as you may think; the importance of humor; how status and privilege play into networking; the benefits of calling up old friends you haven’t spoken to in a while; and she will ask you to consider whether you are a convener, a broker, or an expansionist. This is actually part two of a two-part series that we're running this week about the hard science and soft skills of social connection. If you missed it on Monday, we had an amazing interview with a researcher named Barbara Fredrickson from UNC Chapel Hill. She has a lot of fascinating things to say about what love actually is and takes a pretty broad view of the concept of love. You don't have to listen to that in order to understand this episode, but I think they work great in concert. One more item of business, and it is an invitation for you to participate in this show. In June, we’ll be launching a special series of podcast episodes focusing on anxiety, something I’m sure we’re all too familiar with. In this series, you’ll learn the mechanics of anxiety: how and why it shows up and what you may be doing to feed it. And this is where you come in. We’d love to hear from you with your questions about anxiety that experts will answer during our anxiety series on the podcast. So whether you’re struggling with social anxiety, anxiety about re-entering the world post-Covid, or have any other questions about anxiety - we want to hear from you. To submit a question or share a reflection call (646) 883-8326 and leave us a voicemail. If you’re outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday, May 12th. And if you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, you can download it for free wherever you get your apps or by clicking here: https://www.tenpercent.com/?_branch_match_id=888540266380716858. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marissa-king-342

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Chodo and Koshin

Chodo and Koshin

Thinking about death can be supremely difficult. Many of us try not to think about it at all – until we have no choice. But two Zen Buddhist monks are using meditation, and a generous dose of humor, to show people that the dying process does not have to be scary, and can even be uplifting. Sensei Robert Chodo Campbell and Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison are the co-founders of the New York Center for Contemplative Care, and have trained doctors, nurses, hospice care workers, and social workers to incorporate meditation and caring into their bedside manner with patients, and in their relationships with loved ones. The duo also teaches people to embrace death’s inevitability as push to live a fulfilling life – Zen Buddhist practice forces followers to look at this reality repeatedly – and how to treat a dying loved one with compassion instead of fear. Chodo and Kosin are the authors of the new book, "Awake at the Bedside: Teachings on Palliative & End of Life Care."

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Ali Smith

Ali Smith

Ali Smith goes into some of the toughest neighborhoods in one of the toughest cities in America, and teaches yoga and meditation to troubled and at-risk school kids. And the results have been incredible. Smith, a certified yoga instructor, is the co-founder and executive director of the Holistic Life Foundation. His workshops and after-school programs reach approximately 4,500 kids every week – and that number only continues to grow.

18 Maj 201648min

Gretchen Rubin (Our Long-Lost Pilot Episode)

Gretchen Rubin (Our Long-Lost Pilot Episode)

In our pilot episode, which we recorded back in January before we moved into a fancy radio studio and had any clue what we were doing (this part hasn't changed much), Dan invited author and speaker Gretchen Rubin over to his New York City apartment to talk mindfulness, how to break bad habits and find better routines.

13 Maj 201643min

RuPaul

RuPaul

When he was 28 years old, RuPaul Andre Charles found himself broke and living on his little sister's couch in Los Angeles. "It was a really, really, really dark, dark period for me." That’s when RuPaul, now the world's most famous drag queen, started his meditation practice.

12 Maj 201637min

Steve Armstrong

Steve Armstrong

Enlightenment (or, more specifically, exactly how one gets enlightened) has become a somewhat taboo subject. For years, American meditation teachers have largely avoided discussing what's known as "the progress of insight" -- the various stages that lead to Nirvana -- with their students. But why? In this episode, Dan gets clear, candid answers from Steve Armstrong, a long-time meditation teacher and the managing editor of the new book "Manual of Insight."

11 Maj 20161h 12min

Thupten Jinpa

Thupten Jinpa

Thupten Jinpa may be best known for being the Dalai Lama's longtime English-language translator. But now Jinpa is working to get his own message across. In his new book, "A Fearless Heart," Jinpa touches on the course in compassion training he helped create at Stanford University -- one that has been shown to make people happier, healthier and better able to regulate their emotions.

4 Maj 201659min

Lama Tsomo

Lama Tsomo

Lama Tsomo is one of the first American women to be ordained as a Tibetan Buddhist lama, or spiritual teacher. Born Linda Pritzker, she is part of the family that built the Hyatt hotel chain. But Lama Tsomo embarked on a very different path, diving deeply into Buddhism, spending months on retreat, learning Tibetan and teaching around the world. She sat down with Dan Harris to talk about her story and to detail some of these Tibetan practices.

27 Apr 20161h 1min

Leigh Brasington

Leigh Brasington

Leigh Brasington has been practicing meditation for decades and is one of the most prominent American teachers of Jhana meditation. The Jhanas are a set of altered states of consciousness associated with profound amounts of bliss, happiness and ecstasy. Entering Jhana is done through meditating with intense concentration and it's considered a controversial topic by many in the Buddhist world. But can regular people access the Jhanas? And are they even real?

22 Apr 201655min

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