The Science of Building Better Relationships | Marissa King

The Science of Building Better Relationships | Marissa King

The idea of networking can be fraught. For some people, it might, at times, seem either icky or pathetic to deliberately try to make friends, either in a personal or professional context -- especially since so many of us may be feeling a bit socially awkward anyway, after months of Covid restrictions. However, my guest today will argue that there are profound health benefits to building positive relationships, and she has advice about how to actually do it, based on neuroscience and psychology. Marissa King is a Professor of Organizational Behavior at the Yale School of Management, where she studies social networks, social influence, and team dynamics. She is also the author of a recently-released book, called Social Chemistry: Decoding the Patterns of Human Connection. In this conversation, we talk about: how your social networks impact your mental health; how, when it comes to social networks, quality and structure are more important than quantity; why you’re not as bad at being social as you may think; the importance of humor; how status and privilege play into networking; the benefits of calling up old friends you haven’t spoken to in a while; and she will ask you to consider whether you are a convener, a broker, or an expansionist. This is actually part two of a two-part series that we're running this week about the hard science and soft skills of social connection. If you missed it on Monday, we had an amazing interview with a researcher named Barbara Fredrickson from UNC Chapel Hill. She has a lot of fascinating things to say about what love actually is and takes a pretty broad view of the concept of love. You don't have to listen to that in order to understand this episode, but I think they work great in concert. One more item of business, and it is an invitation for you to participate in this show. In June, we’ll be launching a special series of podcast episodes focusing on anxiety, something I’m sure we’re all too familiar with. In this series, you’ll learn the mechanics of anxiety: how and why it shows up and what you may be doing to feed it. And this is where you come in. We’d love to hear from you with your questions about anxiety that experts will answer during our anxiety series on the podcast. So whether you’re struggling with social anxiety, anxiety about re-entering the world post-Covid, or have any other questions about anxiety - we want to hear from you. To submit a question or share a reflection call (646) 883-8326 and leave us a voicemail. If you’re outside the United States, you can email us a voice memo file in mp3 format to listener@tenpercent.com. The deadline for submissions is Wednesday, May 12th. And if you don't already have the Ten Percent Happier app, you can download it for free wherever you get your apps or by clicking here: https://www.tenpercent.com/?_branch_match_id=888540266380716858. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marissa-king-342

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Mark Epstein, Combining Buddhism and Western Psychotherapy

Mark Epstein, Combining Buddhism and Western Psychotherapy

If it were not for this week's guest, Dan Harris may never have found meditation. Mark Epstein, M.D. is a psychiatrist and the author of a number of books about the interface of Buddhism and psychotherapy. Dr. Epstein discovered Buddhism at a young age and says he saw therapy as very Buddhist, making it a natural transition. He explains how the traditions, when used together, can lead to spiritual and psychological growth. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Website: http://markepsteinmd.com/ Books: http://markepsteinmd.com/?cat=2

30 Jan 20191h 8min

Frank Ostaseski, What Death Can Teach Us About Living

Frank Ostaseski, What Death Can Teach Us About Living

Frank Ostaseski experienced death at a young age, losing his mother as a teenager and his father just a few years later. In his search for healing, he found meditation. With this as his foundation, Ostaseski would go on to become a pioneer in end-of-life care. He co-founded the Zen Hospice Project, the first Buddhist hospice in America, establishing a model for mindful and compassionate care and he founded the Metta Institute training countless healthcare clinicians and caregivers treating those facing life-threatening illness. He explains what he's come to learn about death, and life, through his experiences. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Bio: https://fiveinvitations.com/about-frank-ostaseski/ Author, The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully https://fiveinvitations.com/

23 Jan 20191h 26min

Ellen Hendriksen, Rising Above Social Anxiety

Ellen Hendriksen, Rising Above Social Anxiety

You remember that old commercial where the guys says, "I'm not only the Hair Club President, but I’m also a client."? That's kind of how Ellen Hendriksen sees herself. She's a clinical psychologist who helps millions calm their anxiety and be their authentic selves through her award-winning Savvy Psychologist podcast, and at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. But she doesn't just help others, she too has suffered from social anxiety. Hendriksen explains the techniques she has developed to combat social anxiety. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Website: https://www.ellenhendriksen.com/ Twitter: @EllenHendriksen Podcast: The Savvy Psychologist's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Mental Health Author, How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety

16 Jan 20191h 4min

Oliver Burkeman, The Power of Negative Thinking

Oliver Burkeman, The Power of Negative Thinking

Oliver Burkeman writes about social psychology, self-help culture, productivity, and the science of happiness in This Column Will Change Your Life for The Guardian. In his writings, he challenges "The Power of Positive Thinking," and in fact argues for the benefits of contemplating worst-case scenarios. His new book, "The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking," explores the benefits of negativity, uncertainty, failure and imperfection. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Twitter: @oliverburkeman Columns: https://www.theguardian.com/profile/oliverburkeman The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking https://www.amazon.com/Antidote-Happiness-People-Positive-Thinking/dp/0865478015

9 Jan 20191h 13min

Jeff Warren, New Year, New You

Jeff Warren, New Year, New You

With the new year upon us, it's the perfect time to help you make those resolutions stick. This week Dan Harris and his "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics" co-author, meditation instructor Jeff Warren, listen to and answer your questions about how to begin a meditation practice, make it stick, and many other queries which may arise during the course of your practice. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Website: http://jeffwarren.org/ Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics https://www.amazon.com/Meditation-Fidgety-Skeptics-Happier-How/dp/0399588949

2 Jan 20191h 15min

Ben Feder, Making Every Day a Sabbatical

Ben Feder, Making Every Day a Sabbatical

Ben Feder was the CEO of a tremendously successful company, but it was coming at great personal cost. Returning home from his worldwide business travels, he greeted his family, only to realize how disconnected he felt from them. For years he had sacrificed time with his family to focus on his work, but at this moment he decided something needed to change. He embarked on a year-long sabbatical, in a very big way. He gave up his job, pulled his kids out of school and moved his family from New York to Bali. He explains how that journey changed all of their lives. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Website: https://benfederauthor.com/ Author: Take Off Your Shoes https://benfederauthor.com/product/take-off-your-shoes Twitter: @BenFederAuthor Facebook: @BenFederAuthor

26 Dec 201848min

Paula Faris, Journey of Faith

Paula Faris, Journey of Faith

You may know Paula Faris as the former co-host of ABC's The View or Dan's former co-anchor on ABC's Good Morning America weekend edition. What you don't know is why she decided to leave these TWO dream jobs, and the role that meditation and her faith played in that life-altering decision. Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail at 646-883-8326. The Plug Zone Check out Paula's podcast: Journeys of Faith http://abcn.ws/journeys

19 Dec 20181h 13min

Oren Jay Sofer, Practicing Mindful Communication

Oren Jay Sofer, Practicing Mindful Communication

In every conversation we have, from mundane to serious, our personal motivations drive what we say. But most of the time we are not aware of what our personal motivations are and we can end up mindlessly saying something that causes conflict with someone else. Oren Sofer has spent years studying this and has written a how-to guide to help people apply mindfulness techniques to have more meaningful conversations. He describes the importance of learning to communicate better as a "life hack" that will have a positive effect on every area of your life.

12 Dec 20181h 11min

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