Self-Compassion Ain’t Always Soft | Kristin Neff

Self-Compassion Ain’t Always Soft | Kristin Neff

There’s a widely held assumption that if you have a warmer, friendlier relationship with yourself, you will not only slack off and be ineffective, but also that you will be a doormat. My guest today says: not true. She’s making the case that self-compassion, when properly understood, can lead to a kind of ferocity. It can help you stand up for yourself and others. Kristin Neff is the central pioneer in the field of self-compassion research and her work has had a massive impact on me and my own work. She is an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She’s the author of the book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, and now she has a new book, called Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive. This conversation is for everyone, whether you identify as a woman or not. These concepts are universal, although, as you will hear Kristen argue, there is special importance for women. And speaking of gender, we are dedicating this week to that subject. Coming up on Wednesday, we’re going to talk about masculinity with a guest named Daniel Ellenberg. In this episode with Kristin Neff, we talk about: tender self-compassion vs. fierce self-compassion; the three main forms of fierce self-compassion; how to take a fierce self-compassion break; destructive vs. constructive anger; why she wrote the book specifically for women, and why you should read it, regardless of your gender socialization; how men can help the women in their lives develop this kind of ferocity; and how self-compassion can help us face our biases. For more resources on self-compassion, you can download the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kristin-neff-360

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Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, 'Potential of Tsewa Is in Everyone'

Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, 'Potential of Tsewa Is in Everyone'

Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, whose most recent book is "Training in Tenderness: Buddhist Teachings on Tsewa, the Radical Openness of Heart That Can Change the World," believes it's possible for all humans to develop compassion towards each other, but it starts with realizing the motivation behind ones own desires. - Website: http://www.mangalashribhuti.org/VDKR - Book: "Training in Tenderness: Buddhist Teachings on Tsewa, the Radical Openness of Heart That Can Change the World" and others: http://www.mangalashribhuti.org/VDKRbooks

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Thomas McConkie, The Mormon Meditator

Thomas McConkie, The Mormon Meditator

Having been raised in the Mormon faith, Thomas McConkie was feeling a little lost after he had a falling out with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, his family and his faith-based community. When he started going to a Zen meditation center in Salt Lake City, Utah, a daily practice became "a lifeline," McConkie said, and it eventually helped him make his was back to Mormonism, start a meditation center called Lower Lights School of Wisdom and launch his "Mindfulness+" podcast.

15 Aug 201852min

Elizabeth Cutler, SoulCycle Co-Founder

Elizabeth Cutler, SoulCycle Co-Founder

After having two kids, Elizabeth Cutler had a friend suggest she try spin classes as a way to lose weight and less than a year later, she and her business partner Julie Rice launched SoulCycle. After the pair sold the multimillion-dollar company in 2016, Cutler decided to take her family on sabbatical, pulling her kids out of school so they could take classes online as they traveled all over the world, and all the while she tried to keep a regular morning meditation routine.

8 Aug 20181h 2min

Culture Abuse, Finding Peace in Punk Rock

Culture Abuse, Finding Peace in Punk Rock

For a long time, Culture Abuse's 31-year-old frontman David Kelling didn't want to perform in public. As all five members of the San Francisco-based punk band opened up about things they've tried to work through, Kelling, who has Cerebral palsy, said he felt that the frontman is "supposed to be good looking, in shape and this and that ... and so it is hard" when he "didn't really have any examples" of lead singer/songwriters who played with disabilities, and now that the band goes on tour, he added that "it's also hard to be the person now that is an example."

1 Aug 20181h 13min

Light Watkins, 'Simplify the Approach'

Light Watkins, 'Simplify the Approach'

"There was more snowstorms than meditators in Alabama when I was growing up," said Light Watkins, who started a career as a working model before switching gears to become a yoga teacher and then dove into the world of Vedic meditation. With his newest book, "Bliss More, How to Succeed in Meditation Without Really Trying," Watkins, who is now a meditation teacher and lives as a nomad, said his mission is to "simplify the approach" to meditation "and help people start something that they can get excited about."

25 Juli 20181h 2min

Spring Washam, 'What Was Creating All This Suffering?'

Spring Washam, 'What Was Creating All This Suffering?'

Spring Washam was on a meditation retreat when she felt herself falling apart, so much so that she picked up "the red phone," screamed out "HELP." That moment launched Washam onto a "whole other journey" to work through her past and find sources of her suffering, which she details in her book, "A Fierce Heart: Finding Strength, Wisdom, and Courage in Any Moment."

18 Juli 20181h 8min

Scott Edelstein, When Spiritual Leaders 'Stray'

Scott Edelstein, When Spiritual Leaders 'Stray'

Spiritual leaders often have great influence over their followers but there are times, author Scott Edelstein says, when some leaders will use their position of power to manipulate, shame and abuse others. Edelstein discusses how spiritual leaders can "stray," even become predatory, and suggests ways for a healthy student-teacher relationships, which he lays out in his book, "Sex and the Spiritual Teacher."

11 Juli 20181h 5min

Jeremy Richman, 'There Is Hope in Helping'

Jeremy Richman, 'There Is Hope in Helping'

Jeremy Richman remembers his daughter Avielle as a fun spirit with "this unbelievable smile that she would just give out to anybody," who was as happy playing dress-up as a fairy at a ball as she was practicing Kung Fu and shooting a bow and arrow outside. Avielle was killed with 19 of her classmates and six educators in the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in Newtown, Connecticut, and in her memory, the Richmans started The Avielle Foundation, which funds research on brain health and causations for violent behaviors.

4 Juli 20181h 3min

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