Unhappiness Is Not a Life Sentence | Christina Feldman

Unhappiness Is Not a Life Sentence | Christina Feldman

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Is it possible to be happy no matter what happens? Today we’re going right to the source of what makes us unhappy to learn how to disarm and disable potential suffering before it owns us.


Everything that comes up in our mind is either pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. In other words, with everything we experience, we either want it, don’t want it, or we don’t care. In Buddhism, this is called “feeling tones” or “vedana” and it is known as the second foundation of mindfulness in the Buddha’s comprehensive list. So why does this matter? Because if you are unaware of the pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral tones, then you are being controlled by them. Similarly, if you are unaware that certain people or things provoke aversion, then you can unthinkingly avoid or even be aggressive towards them. In this way, we can be like puppets on a string— just yanked around by greed, hatred, and numbness.


Today’s guest, dharma teacher Christina Feldman, is going to drill down on this embarkation point for our suffering, zap it with mindfulness and help us understand how we don’t have to live like puppets on a string.


Feldman began teaching in the west in the seventies after spending years in Asia studying Buddhist meditation. She is a co-founder of Gaia House, a retreat center in the UK, and has also served as a guiding teacher at Insight Meditation Society beginning in its early days. More recently, she is a co-founder of Bodhi College, which is dedicated to the study and practice of the early teachings of the Buddha. She is the author of a book called, Boundless Heart: The Buddha's Path of Kindness, Compassion, Joy, and Equanimity, and co-author of Mindfulness: Ancient Wisdom Meets Modern Psychology.


This episode is the second installment of a series we've launched on the four foundations of mindfulness.


In this episode we talk about:


  • Why vedana is often called, “the ruler of consciousness” or “the king, or the queen of consciousness”
  • How to practice with vedana, and the benefits thereof
  • Her lovely description of the Buddha as being very focused on understanding “the architecture of distress and unhappiness”
  • Her contention that unhappiness is not a life sentence.
  • Her definition of genuine happiness
  • What she means by the power of “giving greater authority to intentionality, rather than to mood or story”
  • And her personal practice of setting life intentions every year



Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/christina-feldman-500


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An Ace Therapist Gives Dan A Run For His Money | Dr. Jacob Ham

An Ace Therapist Gives Dan A Run For His Money | Dr. Jacob Ham

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Sometimes part of healing trauma means learning how to be human.  This episode is the last episode of our Mental Health Reboot series to mark Mental Health Awareness Month. Dr. Jacob Ham, who was introduced in Stephanie Foo’s episode earlier this week, helped Stephanie through her case of complex PTSD and discusses how to live with the hardest things that have happened to you.  Dr. Ham is the Director of the Center for Child Trauma and Resilience and Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. He sees children, youth, adults, and families across the age range and for a variety of issues.  In this episode we talk about:  What Dr. Ham says may be the “most important thing he’s discovered” as a therapist Why he shuts down his clients’ attempts to intellectualize their experiences Kairos versus kronos  Why Dr. Ham says the Incredible Hulk is so important to him The concept of mentalization What it means to love exquisitely And whether or not we have to learn to love ourselves before we can learn to love others Content Warning: Explicit language. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jacob-ham-453

18 Maj 20221h 8min

How To Live With The Worst Things That Ever Happened To You | Stephanie Foo

How To Live With The Worst Things That Ever Happened To You | Stephanie Foo

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- We’ve all had difficult, and sometimes horrible things happen to us.  While some people may be luckier than others, it’s rare that anyone goes unscathed. This episode is part of our Mental Health Reboot series to mark Mental Health Awareness Month.  In this episode, Stephanie Foo shares her story of being diagnosed with complex PTSD and how she learned to process her trauma and live with her past. The result of her journey is a new book called What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma.  Stephanie Foo is a journalist and radio producer. Her previous work includes This American Life, The Cut, Reply All, and 99% Invisible. Her writing has been featured in The New York Times and Vox.  In this conversation we talk about:  The various therapies, meditation styles, and wellness modalities Stephanie explored to help process her trauma What actually worked for her, and how it might be relevant to other survivors Shame, gratitude, and self-love Her transformative work with Dr. Jacob Ham, who will be featured in another episode this week.  Content Warnings: Discussions of trauma and abuse, references to addiction and mental health challenges. Explicit language.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/stephanie-foo-452

16 Maj 202249min

The Science of Loss and Recovery | Mary-Frances O’Connor

The Science of Loss and Recovery | Mary-Frances O’Connor

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Very few of us will live a life without loss.  As part of our Mental Health Reboot series in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month, this week’s episodes talk a lot about grieving. Mary-Frances O’Connor, an expert in bereavement research, explores the science of how we grieve and experience loss, whether it’s a job or a loved one.  Mary-Frances O'Connor is an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Arizona, where she is also the Director of Clinical Training. And she is the author of a book called The Grieving Brain. In this episode we talk about:  The distinction between grief and grieving How her Buddhist practice has influenced her understanding of grief Whether or not we can ever quote/unquote “get over it” Why she argues for “a really big toolkit of coping strategies”  How to understand the work of Elizabeth Kübler-Ross today What grieving looks like in a pandemic What to say to people who are grieving The new diagnosis of prolonged grief disorder Content Warning: Brief mention of suicide.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mary-frances-oconnor-450

11 Maj 20221h 6min

Jonathan Van Ness on Shame, Shopping, Bodies, and Hope

Jonathan Van Ness on Shame, Shopping, Bodies, and Hope

How do you find hope in a lifetime that has experienced more trauma than most?  Guest Jonathan Van Ness says that the key is to stay curious and focus on happiness and joy, even if it’s just in a tiny corner. Jonathan Van Ness is a hairstylist by trade and best known as one of the hosts of the Netflix series Queer Eye. He is also the author of Love That Story and the New York Times bestselling memoir Over the Top, and the host of the podcast Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness.  In this episode we talk about:  The universality of processing grief What a “window of tolerance” means  Getting curious about shame Body dysmorphia JVN’s complex and contradictory feelings about shopping What “parts therapy” or Internal Family Systems therapy is Setting boundaries Connecting and cultivating joy  Content Warning: Explicit language and mentions of sexual abuse, substance amuse, body dysmorphia, and references to sex. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jonathan-van-ness-447

9 Maj 202244min

 Loss is Inevitable. Here’s How to Handle It | Kathryn Schulz

Loss is Inevitable. Here’s How to Handle It | Kathryn Schulz

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- There is an unstoppable flow of gain and loss within our lives.  Processing this flow helps us to develop equanimity. In this conversation, Pulitzer Prize-winner and New Yorker staff writer Kathryn Schulz discusses her new book Lost and Found: A Memoir, in which she explores experiencing both a huge loss anda huge gain, and how to live in a world where both happiness and pain commingle.  In this episode we talk about:  How humans experience grief A gift you can give to the grieving Why she loves the clichés that remind us to enjoy the moment Her broad understanding of the term “loss” Why the key word in ‘lost and found’ is “and”  What she’s learned about compromising in relationships Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kathryn-schulz-449

9 Maj 202259min

The Science of Hope | Jacqueline Mattis

The Science of Hope | Jacqueline Mattis

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- How does hope work?  In this episode from the archives, Rutgers University clinical psychologist Dr. Jacqueline Mattis discusses hope from a scientific perspective and how we can cultivate it.  Dr. Mattis, who is also a Dean of faculty at Rutgers, did not start her career wanting to study hope. She started out studying spirituality and religiosity, specifically concentrating her field work and interviews in African-American and Afri-Caribbean urban communities. She wanted to know why people living under high stress conditions so often choose to be good and compassionate. And that research ultimately led her to hope. In this episode we talk about:  How her family history influenced her relationship to optimism and faith  The difference between spirituality and religiosity  The benefits of hope and skills to cultivate it The ways hope can go wrong And the benefits of denial Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jacqueline-mattis-340-repost

4 Maj 20221h 9min

The Science of Sleep | Dr. Sara Mednick

The Science of Sleep | Dr. Sara Mednick

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- If you’re trying to improve your sleep, thinking about doing so right before you get into bed might not be the best approach.  Dr. Sara Mednick, is a cognitive neuroscientist at the University of California, Irvine, and the author of the new book The Power of the Downstate. This episode is part of our month-long “Mental Health Reboot” series to mark Mental Health Awareness Month.  According to her research, Dr. Mednick says that we need to take a more holistic approach to getting better sleep, and that sleep is just one of the ways that our bodies rest and restore.   In this conversation, we talk about: The nuances of napping Dr. Mednick’s definition of the “downstate” Whether there are practices that can compensate for poor sleep Why heart rate variability is an important measurement of health Why sex is so helpful for sleep And when to take melatonin to best effect Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sara-mednick-445

27 Apr 202252min

How to Sleep Better | Diane Macedo

How to Sleep Better | Diane Macedo

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Sleep may be the apex predator of healthy habits, so why are so many of us getting terrible sleep?  Guest Diane Macedo launched a very detailed personal investigation in order to fix her sleeping habits and joins us for the first episode of a month-long “Mental Health Reboot” series we’re doing to mark Mental Health Awareness Month.  Diane Macedo is the author of the new book The Sleep Fix: Practical, Proven, and Surprising Solutions for Insomnia, Snoring, Shift Work, and More. As an ABC News anchor and correspondent, she appears on Good Morning America, World News Tonight, and Nightline. She’s also the daytime anchor for ABC News Live.  In this episode we talk about:  Key signs that you’re not getting enough sleep Do sleeping pills really work When and how to find a sleep specialist How to deal with performance anxiety around sleep  The difference between sleep deprivation and insomnia Mindfulness and sleep And the biggest sleep myths Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/diane-macedo-444

25 Apr 20221h 4min

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