Me, A Love Story: How Being OK With Yourself Makes You Better at Everything | Sharon Salzberg

Me, A Love Story: How Being OK With Yourself Makes You Better at Everything | Sharon Salzberg

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It might be hard to find a more annoying cliché than self-love; it can seem empty and inactionable. And even if you could make it work, I think many of us suspect it would lead to complacent resignation or unbridled narcissism. But there is an enormous amount of evidence that self-love, or as the scientists call it, self-compassion, can make you more effective in reaching your goals as well as lead to better relationships with everybody around you.


On today’s show, the great meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg will walk us through the idea that love— both self-love and other love— is a skill that can be cultivated with massively positive impacts.


Salzberg is a meditation pioneer, world-renowned teacher, and New York Times bestselling author. She is one of the first to bring mindfulness and lovingkindness meditation to mainstream American culture over 45 years ago, inspiring generations of meditation teachers and wellness influencers. Sharon is co-founder of The Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA, and the author of twelve books, including the New York Times bestseller, Real Happiness, now in its second edition, and her seminal work, Lovingkindness. Her forthcoming release, Real Life: The Journey from Isolation to Openness and Freedom, is set for release in April of 2023 from Flatiron Books. Her podcast, The Metta Hour, has amassed five million downloads and features interviews with thought leaders from the mindfulness movement and beyond.


This episode comes out in conjunction with Dan Harris’ recent TED Talk on self-love. You can watch the full talk here.



In this episode we talk about:


  • The definition of self-hatred and its predominance in the West
  • The real practical benefits of self-compassion
  • Whether there is a difference between self-compassion and self-love
  • Why many people resist the idea of self-love
  • The distinction between empathy and compassion and how they work together in Buddhism
  • How to have lovingkindness for somebody who doesn't feel we have the right to exist
  • Reclaiming words like love and happiness
  • And how generosity makes us more whole



Full Shownotes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sharon-salzberg-510

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Profs. Holly Richardson & Matt Jarman, Virginia Military Institute

Profs. Holly Richardson & Matt Jarman, Virginia Military Institute

Virginia Military Institute, a military college in Lexington, Virginia, was another stop on the cross-country meditation tour, where our host Dan Harris and meditation teacher Jeff Warren spoke to Profs. Holly Richardson and Matt Jarman, as well as a few cadets who have taken their classes. Jarman, a psychology professor who leads a "Modern Warriorship" course with meditation, and Richardson, a physical education professor who teaches a mindfulness class, both talk about how they teach cadets in a military environment that meditation can help them be more mentally efficient.

15 Mars 201743min

Sylvia Moir, Tempe, Arizona, Police Chief

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During their cross-county meditation bus tour in January, our host Dan Harris and meditation teacher Jeff Warren stopped in Tempe, Arizona, to talk with Sylvia Moir, who has been the head of the Tempe Police Department for the past year. Chief Moir says her mindfulness practice has not only helped her during high-stress police calls but also in how she engages with and leads her fellow officers.

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Shinzen Young, Meditation Teacher

Shinzen Young, Meditation Teacher

Shinzen Young first became fascinated with Asian culture as a Jewish teenager growing up in Los Angeles in the 1950s. Now a renowned meditation teacher, Shinzen is deeply involved in scientific research into what meditation does for the brain and has a new book out called "The Science of Enlightenment."

1 Mars 20171h 34min

Billy Crudup, 'Jackie,' '20th Century Women' Actor (Oscars Bonus Episode!)

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We're offering a special pre-Oscars edition of the podcast this week with actor Billy Crudup. Best known for his role as 70s rock star Russell Hammond in "Almost Famous," Crudup stars in two Oscar-nominated films this year, "Jackie" and "20th Century Women." A Broadway star as well as a movie actor, Crudup said he began practicing mindfulness as a way to help "triage" anxiety and panic attacks he experienced, including at three separate times while performing on stage.

24 Feb 201755min

Hannah Hart, Creator of YouTube's 'My Drunk Kitchen'

Hannah Hart, Creator of YouTube's 'My Drunk Kitchen'

Hannah Hart is best known for her bubbly personality and boozy cooking mishaps on her mega-popular YouTube series, "My Drunk Kitchen," so many fans were surprised to learn about her life-long private struggle of dealing with her family's mental health issues, as detailed in her memoir, "Buffering: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded." Hart said she turned to meditation while she was fighting to get conservatorship of her mother, who suffers from psychosis. (( Links and more info below... ))

22 Feb 201745min

Dr. Judson Brewer, Using Mindfulness to Beat Addiction

Dr. Judson Brewer, Using Mindfulness to Beat Addiction

Psychiatrist and addiction expert Judson Brewer was researching better treatment options for alcohol and cocaine addiction patients and found, through clinical studies, that meditation could significantly help break these behaviors or "habit loops" and prevent relapses. Brewer, who is now the director of research at the University of Massachusetts School of Medicine's Center for Mindfulness, founded a company called Claritas MindSciences, which uses neurofeedback techniques combined with mindfulness exercises for several conditions, from eating disorders to smoking addiction.

15 Feb 20171h 22min

Matthieu Ricard, French Monk and 'World's Happiest Man'

Matthieu Ricard, French Monk and 'World's Happiest Man'

Tibetan Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard, who is originally from France, earned the moniker "world's happiest man" after brain scans taken during a neurological study on meditation (led by Dr. Richie Davidson) showed excessive activity in his brain as he meditated on compassion. A staunch vegetarian, Ricard talks about the importance of extending compassion to all beings, including animals, which he lays out in his new book, "A Plea for the Animals: The Moral, Philosophical, and Evolutionary Imperative to Treat All Beings with Compassion."

8 Feb 20171h 5min

Mary Karr, Best-Selling Poet and Master Memoirist

Mary Karr, Best-Selling Poet and Master Memoirist

Mary Karr has shared many dark pieces of her past in her memoirs, from a painful childhood, to a long struggle with alcoholism and depression, to living her entire life as an agnostic before becoming a Roman Catholic. It was when she said she found herself "sober in a mental institution" that she first began to pray and meditate, both of which are practices she continues today to stay centered.

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