How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco

How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers.

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Did you know that having friends can make you less depressed? One survey found that the average American had not made a new friend in the last five years but 45% of people said they would go out of their way to make a new friend if they only knew how.


Our guest today, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, has written a bestselling book about how understanding your own psychological makeup and attachment style can help you make and keep friends. Franco is a psychologist and a professor at the University of Maryland. Her book is called Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends.


This is episode three of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair.


In this episode we talk about:

  • Why friendship is undervalued in our society (while romantic love is overvalued) and why this is damaging on both a societal and individual level
  • The impact of technology on our relationships as explained by something called “displacement theory”
  • The biological necessity of social connection and the devastating physiological and psychological impacts of loneliness
  • Attachment style and its relationship to our friendships
  • What you can do to make friends, including being open or vulnerable (without oversharing)
  • How to reframe social rejection
  • The importance of generosity
  • How to handle conflict with your friends
  • The difference between flaccid safety and dynamic safety in your friendships
  • When to walk away from a relationship
  • How to make friends across racial, gender, and socioeconomic lines
  • How to deal with social anxiety
  • And how our evolutionarily wired negativity bias can impact the process of making friends



Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marisa-g-franco-561

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Profs. Holly Richardson & Matt Jarman, Virginia Military Institute

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Hannah Hart, Creator of YouTube's 'My Drunk Kitchen'

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Hannah Hart is best known for her bubbly personality and boozy cooking mishaps on her mega-popular YouTube series, "My Drunk Kitchen," so many fans were surprised to learn about her life-long private struggle of dealing with her family's mental health issues, as detailed in her memoir, "Buffering: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded." Hart said she turned to meditation while she was fighting to get conservatorship of her mother, who suffers from psychosis. (( Links and more info below... ))

22 Feb 201745min

Dr. Judson Brewer, Using Mindfulness to Beat Addiction

Dr. Judson Brewer, Using Mindfulness to Beat Addiction

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