Pema Chödrön, Renowned Buddhist Nun, On Her One Non-Negotiable Happiness Strategy

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Very few of us will live a life without loss.  As part of our Mental Health Reboot series in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month, this week’s episodes talk a lot about grieving. Mary-Frances O’Connor, an expert in bereavement research, explores the science of how we grieve and experience loss, whether it’s a job or a loved one.  Mary-Frances O'Connor is an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Arizona, where she is also the Director of Clinical Training. And she is the author of a book called The Grieving Brain. In this episode we talk about:  The distinction between grief and grieving How her Buddhist practice has influenced her understanding of grief Whether or not we can ever quote/unquote “get over it” Why she argues for “a really big toolkit of coping strategies”  How to understand the work of Elizabeth Kübler-Ross today What grieving looks like in a pandemic What to say to people who are grieving The new diagnosis of prolonged grief disorder Content Warning: Brief mention of suicide.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mary-frances-oconnor-450

11 Maj 20221h 6min

How do you find hope in a lifetime that has experienced more trauma than most?  Guest Jonathan Van Ness says that the key is to stay curious and focus on happiness and joy, even if it’s just in a tiny corner. Jonathan Van Ness is a hairstylist by trade and best known as one of the hosts of the Netflix series Queer Eye. He is also the author of Love That Story and the New York Times bestselling memoir Over the Top, and the host of the podcast Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness.  In this episode we talk about:  The universality of processing grief What a “window of tolerance” means  Getting curious about shame Body dysmorphia JVN’s complex and contradictory feelings about shopping What “parts therapy” or Internal Family Systems therapy is Setting boundaries Connecting and cultivating joy  Content Warning: Explicit language and mentions of sexual abuse, substance amuse, body dysmorphia, and references to sex. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jonathan-van-ness-447

9 Maj 202244min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- There is an unstoppable flow of gain and loss within our lives.  Processing this flow helps us to develop equanimity. In this conversation, Pulitzer Prize-winner and New Yorker staff writer Kathryn Schulz discusses her new book Lost and Found: A Memoir, in which she explores experiencing both a huge loss anda huge gain, and how to live in a world where both happiness and pain commingle.  In this episode we talk about:  How humans experience grief A gift you can give to the grieving Why she loves the clichés that remind us to enjoy the moment Her broad understanding of the term “loss” Why the key word in ‘lost and found’ is “and”  What she’s learned about compromising in relationships Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kathryn-schulz-449

9 Maj 202259min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- How does hope work?  In this episode from the archives, Rutgers University clinical psychologist Dr. Jacqueline Mattis discusses hope from a scientific perspective and how we can cultivate it.  Dr. Mattis, who is also a Dean of faculty at Rutgers, did not start her career wanting to study hope. She started out studying spirituality and religiosity, specifically concentrating her field work and interviews in African-American and Afri-Caribbean urban communities. She wanted to know why people living under high stress conditions so often choose to be good and compassionate. And that research ultimately led her to hope. In this episode we talk about:  How her family history influenced her relationship to optimism and faith  The difference between spirituality and religiosity  The benefits of hope and skills to cultivate it The ways hope can go wrong And the benefits of denial Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jacqueline-mattis-340-repost

4 Maj 20221h 9min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- If you’re trying to improve your sleep, thinking about doing so right before you get into bed might not be the best approach.  Dr. Sara Mednick, is a cognitive neuroscientist at the University of California, Irvine, and the author of the new book The Power of the Downstate. This episode is part of our month-long “Mental Health Reboot” series to mark Mental Health Awareness Month.  According to her research, Dr. Mednick says that we need to take a more holistic approach to getting better sleep, and that sleep is just one of the ways that our bodies rest and restore.   In this conversation, we talk about: The nuances of napping Dr. Mednick’s definition of the “downstate” Whether there are practices that can compensate for poor sleep Why heart rate variability is an important measurement of health Why sex is so helpful for sleep And when to take melatonin to best effect Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sara-mednick-445

27 Apr 202252min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Sleep may be the apex predator of healthy habits, so why are so many of us getting terrible sleep?  Guest Diane Macedo launched a very detailed personal investigation in order to fix her sleeping habits and joins us for the first episode of a month-long “Mental Health Reboot” series we’re doing to mark Mental Health Awareness Month.  Diane Macedo is the author of the new book The Sleep Fix: Practical, Proven, and Surprising Solutions for Insomnia, Snoring, Shift Work, and More. As an ABC News anchor and correspondent, she appears on Good Morning America, World News Tonight, and Nightline. She’s also the daytime anchor for ABC News Live.  In this episode we talk about:  Key signs that you’re not getting enough sleep Do sleeping pills really work When and how to find a sleep specialist How to deal with performance anxiety around sleep  The difference between sleep deprivation and insomnia Mindfulness and sleep And the biggest sleep myths Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/diane-macedo-444

25 Apr 20221h 4min

Can you become happier, more balanced, and practice equanimity without losing your edge?  Guest Kamala Masters was one of the teachers at Dan’s first ever meditation retreat. In this episode she dives into how to develop equanimity and shares her story of learning how to practice meditation during her everyday life while raising three children on her own.  Kamala Masters has been meditating since the 1970s, first with Anagarika Munindra, who was Joseph Goldstein’s first teacher, and then with the Burmese master Sayadaw U Pandita with whom she twice temporarily ordained as a Buddhist nun. More recently, she’s been training with another Burmese master we’ve talked about here on the show, Sayadaw U Tejaniya. She is a Guiding Teacher at the Insight Meditation Society, and the co-founder of the Vipassana Metta Foundation, which developed the Maui Dharma Sanctuary. In this conversation we talk about:  What is equanimity? The most common misconception about equanimity The near and far enemies of equanimity  The power and limitations of setting intentions Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kamala-masters-442

20 Apr 202258min

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Why is it that many men seem unenthusiastic about discussing body image issues?  We take a deep dive into this topic with Aaron Flores, a Los Angeles-based registered dietician and nutritionist, and one of the few men very active in the space of intuitive eating. Aaron talks about how capitalism ties our weight to our worthiness, and his notion that “our body is not a project.”  In this episode we also discuss:  What intuitive eating is How men experience body image issues, and why they often don’t talk about it  The relationship between diet culture and capitalism  What “health at every size” means and why it’s sometimes controversial Guidelines for parents  The role of self-compassion when it comes to food  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/aaron-flores-441

18 Apr 20221h 1min