RuPaul On: Surviving Your Family, Overcoming Addiction, And How To Have Fun (Including “Dirty Charades”)

We have another themed week for you, with two episodes about how to navigate major life changes-- clearly a resonant theme, given the various dumpster fires that are raging in our world right now. Coming up on Wednesday, we’re going to get a deep dharma take on this subject, but today, we’ve got a guest who takes a more journalistic/scientific approach. His name is Bruce Feiler. He has a new, bestselling book called Life Is In the Transitions. In it, he offers seven tools for navigating what he calls “lifequakes,” which can range from divorce to job loss to addiction. Bruce has written a series of bestselling books, including Walking the Bible, and Council of Dads, which became a TV show on NBC. He didn’t mean for this new book on transitions to come out during a pandemic, but the timing is perversely perfect. In this conversation, we talk about: the events in his own life that got him interested in this subject; why “lifequakes” are a feature, not a bug; and why the word “resilience” makes Bruce grumpy. Where to find Bruce Feiler online: Website: https://www.brucefeiler.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/brucefeiler Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BruceFeilerAuthor/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brucefeiler/ Book Mentioned: Life Is in the Transitions by Bruce Feiler: https://www.brucefeiler.com/books-articles/life-is-in-the-transitions/ Other Resources Mentioned: Jean Piaget's Theory and Stages of Cognitive Development: https://www.simplypsychology.org/piaget.html Freud's Psychosexual Stages of Development: https://www.simplypsychology.org/psychosexual.html Erik Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development: https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html Daniel Levinson on Midlife Crisis: https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/5e75/2a77fb59cc48e9eea4b1ef4c53056b0f140e.pdf Elliot Jock on Midlife Crisis: https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2003-mar-23-me-jacques23-story.html The Rites of Passage by Arnold van Gennep: https://books.google.com/books/about/The_Rites_of_Passage.html?id=kJpkBH7mB7oC William James: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/james/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/bruce-feiler-282

14 Sep 20201h 8min

When you first encounter Bhante Buddharakkhita, the wise and affable Abbot of the Ugandan Buddhist Center, you might be tempted to think: this guy’s been a meditator since shortly after exiting the womb. But his story of finding the dharma -- and then trying to integrate it into his life -- is straight-up wild. It starts with a childhood of devout Catholicism, then veers into India, a scuba-diving stint in Thailand, and a sojourn with a venerable Buddhist teacher in West Virginia. When he finally lands back in Africa as one of the first monastics on that continent, he is mocked as a wizard and then nearly assasinated. In this chat, we talk about: how that incident led to a deep dive into the treatment of trauma; how he integrates African wisdom into his Buddhist teaching; and his motto, “More dharma, less drama.” Where to find Bhante online: Dharma Seed: https://dharmaseed.org/teacher/203/ IMS: https://www.dharma.org/teacher/bhante-buddharakkhita/ We care deeply about supporting you in your meditation practice, and feel that providing you with high quality teachers is one of the best ways to do that. Customers of the Ten Percent Happier app say they stick around specifically for the range of teachers, and the deep wisdom they impart, to help them deepen their practice. For anyone new to the app, we've got a special discount just for you. If you're an existing subscriber, we thank you for your support. To claim your discount, visit tenpercent.com/reward. Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/bhante-buddharakkhita-281

9 Sep 20201h 3min

How do you strike work/life balance when you feel overwhelming pressure to provide for your family? How do you balance gender roles in a modern marriage? How close should we live to our parents when they retire? These are questions many, if not most, of us struggle with. But Ravi Patel does so in public. Not just in public -- but on camera, all over the world. Ravi is an actor who has been in TV shows such as Master of None and American Housewife and movies such as Transformers and the upcoming Wonder Woman 1984. He is perhaps best known for starring in a hilarious documentary called Meet the Patels, in which he travels around America and India egged on by his parents, looking for a bride. Now he has a new TV show on HBO Max called Ravi Patel’s Pursuit of Happiness, where in each episode, he and someone in his life -- his wife, his parents, his best friend -- go on a global adventure to address a major life issue. He’s very funny, and unusually an open book. I think you will enjoy this. Where to find Ravi online: IMDB: https://m.imdb.com/name/nm2201027/ Twitter: @showmetheravi / https://twitter.com/showmetheravi Instagram: @showmetheravi / https://www.instagram.com/showmetheravi YouTube: Ravi Patel’s Pursuit of Happiness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRHRJMf6lJE&feature=youtu.be We care deeply about supporting you in your meditation practice, and feel that providing you with high quality teachers is one of the best ways to do that. Customers of the Ten Percent Happier app say they stick around specifically for the range of teachers, and the deep wisdom they impart, to help them deepen their practice. For anyone new to the app, we've got a special discount just for you. If you're an existing subscriber, we thank you for your support. To claim your discount, visit tenpercent.com/reward. Other Resources Mentioned: The Ezra Klein Show / https://www.vox.com/ezra-klein-show-podcast The Michelle Obama Podcast / https://open.spotify.com/show/71mvGXupfKcmO6jlmOJQTP Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ravi-patel-280

7 Sep 202041min

In the heat of an election that is both incredibly nasty and hugely consequential, it might be tempting to try to shut out all the feelings of anger, frustration, and powerlessness. But my guest today makes a compelling argument for engagement -- and for the notion that nothing should be excluded from your meditation practice, not even politics. Sharon Salzberg has a new book, called Real Change, which is about how to stay socially, civically, and politically engaged without losing your mind. We talk about how to develop patience when it seems there’s no light at the end of the tunnel; why it’s wise to cultivate compassion, even for people you find deeply objectionable; and ways to limit our Twitter doomscrolling, something Sharon struggles with herself. Loyal listeners will know Sharon well. She’s a towering figure on the American meditation scene, the cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society, the author of several books, including Real Love, Real Happiness and Real Happiness at Work, and a founding teacher on the Ten Percent Happier app. Where to find Sharon Salzberg online:  Website: https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/  Podcast: https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/metta-hour-podcast/  Twitter: https://twitter.com/sharonsalzberg Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SharonSalzberg/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sharonsalzberg/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/SharonSalzbergVideo Book Mentioned: Real Change by Sharon Salzberg: https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/realchange/ To find meditations and courses guided by Sharon Salzberg in the Ten Percent Happier app, visit https://10percenthappier.app.link/SharonSalzberg  Other Resources Mentioned: Jay Michaelson / https://www.jaymichaelson.net/ Real Change: Sharon Salzberg in conversation with Anu Gupta / https://asiasociety.org/new-york/events/real-change-sharon-salzberg-conversation-anu-gupta Oren Jay Sofer / https://www.orenjaysofer.com/ Mudita Nisker and Dan Clurman / http://www.comoptions.com/  Bell Hooks / http://www.bellhooksinstitute.com/ Maillka Dutt / https://mallikadutt.com/about/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sharon-salzberg-279

2 Sep 20201h 5min

Angel Collinson is a badass in every sense of the word. She’s one of the world's best extreme skiers, a meditator, and a climate activist. In this conversation we explore Angel's mindfulness practice and how it helps her stay centered even when she’s skiing off a cliff, her work on Capitol Hill, and a tricky and raw conversation with her dad. This is another one of the episodes we recorded pre-pandemic, but which remains relevant. Where to find Angel Collinson online: Twitter: https://twitter.com/angelcollinson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AngelCollinson/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/angelcollinson/?hl=en We care deeply about supporting you in your meditation practice, and feel that providing you with high quality teachers is one of the best ways to do that. Customers of the Ten Percent Happier app say they stick around specifically for the range of teachers, and the deep wisdom they impart, to help them deepen their practice. For anyone new to the app, we've got a special discount just for you. If you're an existing subscriber, we thank you for your support. To claim your discount, visit tenpercent.com/august Other Resources Mentioned: Waking Up with Sam Harris - https://www.wakingup.com/ George Mumford - https://georgemumford.com/ Citizens Climate Lobby - https://citizensclimatelobby.org/ Protect Our Winters - https://protectourwinters.org/ Jay Michaelson - https://www.jaymichaelson.net/ Ten Percent Happier Newsletter - https://www.tenpercent.com/newsletter What if We Stopped Pretending the Climate Apocalypse Can Be Stopped? - https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/what-if-we-stopped-pretending Angel Collinson Annihilates Alaska: The Rowdiest Women’s Skiing Segment To Date? - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNrOI94nSTw #TGRwinterland: Angel Collinson - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOIM2pQ7ekk Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/angel-collinson-278

31 Aug 202054min

I grew up with that famous Groucho Marx joke, “I wouldn’t want to belong to a club that would have me as a member.” It always resonated with me. As my grandfather would say, “I resemble that remark.” We all know that belonging -- to a tribe, a family, a group of any sort -- is a key part of human happiness; science bears this out. But my guest today, Sebene Selassie, is taking this concept of belonging to a much, much deeper level. To the “oneness with the universe” level. That’s obviously one of the world’s greatest spiritual cliches, but in her new book, Seb unpacks and defends the concept incredibly effectively. The book is called “You Belong.” Seb is a writer and teacher based in Brooklyn. She is a regular on the Ten Percent Happier app. And she is a great and valued friend. Where to find Sebene Selassie online: Website: https://www.sebeneselassie.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/sebeneselassie Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sebeneselassie Book Mentioned: You Belong by Sebene Selassie: https://www.sebeneselassie.com/youbelong We care deeply about supporting you in your meditation practice, and feel that providing you with high quality teachers is one of the best ways to do that. Customers of the Ten Percent Happier app say they stick around specifically for the range of teachers, and the deep wisdom they impart, to help them deepen their practice. For anyone new to the app, we've got a special discount just for you. If you're an existing subscriber, we thank you for your support. To claim your discount, visit tenpercent.com/august Other Resources Mentioned: Coach Chela Davison - https://www.cheladavison.com/ The Four Elements Meditation - https://10percenthappier.app.link/FourElementsPod Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sebene-selassie-277

26 Aug 202057min

It’s a human urge to return to normalcy after a cataclysmic event. But if we rush back to normalcy without taking a beat, without metabolizing what we’ve all been going through, that can create profound psychological issues. Dr. Pat Ogden is an expert in trauma and a pioneer in what’s called “somatic psychology” (which I will let her explain). In this interview we talk about whether we’re all traumatized by what we’ve been through in recent months; the impact of trauma on the brain and body; how to handle and heal from our trauma; and we also branch out into her fascinating views on productivity. There’s a lot here. Where to find Pat Ogden online: Website: https://sensorimotorpsychotherapy.org/ Book Mentioned: Trauma and the Body: A Sensorimotor Approach to Psychotherapy by Pat Ogden, Kekuni Minton, Clare Pain - https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Body-Sensorimotor-Psychotherapy-Interpersonal/dp/0393704572 We care deeply about supporting you in your meditation practice, and feel that providing you with high quality teachers is one of the best ways to do that. Customers of the Ten Percent Happier app say they stick around specifically for the range of teachers, and the deep wisdom they impart, to help them deepen their practice. For anyone new to the app, we've got a special discount just for you. If you're an existing subscriber, we thank you for your support. To claim your discount, visit tenpercent.com/august Other Resources Mentioned: White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo - https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism/dp/0807047414 Kimberlé Crenshaw - https://aapf.org/kimberle-crenshaw Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome - https://www.joydegruy.com/post-traumatic-slave-syndrome Dr. Mark Epstein - http://markepsteinmd.com/ The Theory of Structural Dissociation - https://did-research.org/origin/structural_dissociation/ Naropa University - https://www.naropa.edu/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/pat-ogden-276

24 Aug 202058min

This episode is a mix of the technical, the practical, and the delightful. We’re talking about a meditation technique that can impact relationships, your biases, and how you handle things such as lying, sex, alcohol, and social media. The key word here is the ancient term "vedana." And it involves, literally, any feeling state we experience. Basically, everything that comes up in your mind has one of at least three feeling tones: pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. When you’re mindless, a pleasant feeling tone can lead to overindulgence or clinging; unpleasant can lead to aversion; and neutral can lead to numbing out. Unchecked, this unfolding process can have disastrous results, as it pertains to your reactions to food, other people, you name it. My guest today is going to tell us about how to bring mindfulness to this aspect of our experience. Martine Batchelor was a Buddhist nun in Korea for 10 years. She’s written a number of books, including The Path to Compassion and Let Go: A Buddhist Guide to Breaking Free of Habits. She lives in France, with her husband Stephen Batchelor, who was a guest on the show not long ago. Where to find Martine Batchelor online: Website: https://martinebatchelor.org/ Martine Batchelor's Dharma Talks - https://dharmaseed.org/teacher/119/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/martinebatch Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/martine.batchelor Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/martinebatch/ We care deeply about supporting you in your meditation practice, and feel that providing you with high quality teachers is one of the best ways to do that. Customers of the Ten Percent Happier app say they stick around specifically for the range of teachers, and the deep wisdom they impart, to help them deepen their practice. For anyone new to the app, we've got a special discount just for you. If you're an existing subscriber, we thank you for your support. To claim your discount, visit tenpercent.com/august Other Resources Mentioned: More on Vedana Understanding the Five Aggregates Can Help You Get Out of Your Head: https://tricycle.org/magazine/five-aggregates/ Meditation Month 2019: Feeling Tone and Noting Sensations: https://tricycle.org/trikedaily/meditation-month-feeling-tone/ Deconstructing the "Self": https://www.lionsroar.com/deconstructing-the-self/ To learn more about and practice with feeling tone, check out Joseph's meditation on Feeling Tone in the Ten Percent Happier app: https://10percenthappier.app.link/FeelingTonePod Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/martine-batchelor-275

19 Aug 20201h 21min