It’s About Fun, Stop Crying!

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“This is a drinky episode,” says Christi as she announces drink four only three lines into the first page of the "Candy Apple Showdown" notes. Though Bitch #1 and #2 are both incapable of drinking along this week, unfortunately for them this hulking two hours of an episode was just too much for one sitting, so they best prep themselves for when things get really dicey because The ALDC is back up against Cathy's Candy Apples and things are already off to a bumpy start.

Abby's stint hosting The View was fun, but it cut into group rehearsal time with competition only days away. So Abby's focus is of course solos, no need to get that potentially controversial "Kids with Guns" group dance in order! With everyone focusing on solos, Kelly takes Brooke to a music producer to start getting a leg up on her career. Afterwards the moms take all the girls out for ice skating in the city, but ice skating is one of Abby's explicitly prohibited activities and the fallout is something none of the kids want, but comply after undue pressure from the moms (Melissa even makes Maddie cry!).

Meanwhile tensions are growing between Kristie Ray and the other moms. First she doesn't allow Asia to skate with the girls and then she starts picking fights with Christie?! Even Cathy's camp is getting into shouting matches with one another! There's only one outcome to all this and it ain't looking pretty.

Quotes

• “I don’t know if I would take Abby’s evaluation of what’s appropriate for children to heart if you’re a parent. I don’t know if I would use that as my barometer.” (09:34-09:42 | Christi)
• “I really look back on Kristie now with hindsight, because I think in the moment we’re always just so like UGH whenever there’s a new person. I think that you and I could have really befriended her.” (15:56-16:07 | Christi)
• “I don’t understand why she thought that it was so wrong for a seven year old to cry? I don’t know. Maybe she went to the Abby Lee Miller school of parenting.” (35:37-35:45 | Christi & Kelly)
• “If you guys had seen that contract you’d die. You weren’t allowed to open candy during a theater performance. You’re not allowed to ice skate, roller skate and god you weren’t allowed to ski. I get skiing, but you weren’t allowed to bike. You weren’t allowed to do anything but dance!” (50:27-50:45 | Christi & Kelly)

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