306: Romance novel villains, Boyfriend admits he kissed an ex, Socially awkward or self-preservation, Is population getting dumber & flakier?

1. Why do women fall in love with villains in romance novels? I was reading through my girlfriend's provocative novels and the men in these books are not noble or kind, they are dark, twisted, cruel, violent criminals, stalkers, vampires, demons or devils. The sex scenes are aggressive and violent. An example I will never forget is the love interest, who is a stalker, violating the woman with a loaded gun and knife. Is there an evolutionary reason why women would like this? If this is what my girlfriend likes, I don't even understand why she's with me. I am exactly the opposite of these men.
2. I am in a relationship with a divorced man who is 15 years my senior, with two adults (or nearly adult) children. We've been together for about two years, and he just communicated that six months ago, he kissed a close friend of ours in our shared home. He said it meant nothing (they had a previous relationship) and the kiss was intended to signalize "closure" - that it was the first and last time that something like this has happened in our relationship. He has a history of adultery (his prior wife left him because of serial cheating). Should I trust that this is a one-off thing, or trust my intuition and take a painful step to end the relationship?
3. Afraid of being threatening to others, especially other women, I dress down, don't wear makeup, don't bother with my appearance, am obese. Is this a form of self preservation/protection? I always had poor social skills and to not get hurt, I isolate and dress down etc. Don't know why I have poor social skills, I may be slightly autistic or asocial.
4. Given that people with less conscientiousness have more children, would it stand to reason that people in general are less conscientious than in the past? I would presume this might hold true in other areas -- for instance, wouldn't people with less intelligence also have more children? So over time, wouldn't we see less conscientiousness and lower intelligence in the population at large?

Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

Host: Nathan Gershfeld

Interviewee: Doug Lisle, Ph.D. and Jen Howk, Ph.D.

Podcast website: www.BeatYourGenes.org

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Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones · Ferenc Hegedus