Resisting What You Don’t Want To Feel Just Makes It Worse. Here’s A Different Strategy. | Ofosu Jones-Quartey and Cara Lai

Even in the middle of a pandemic, it's still OK to experience delight. That's per legendary meditation teacher, Sylvia Boostein. In fact, she says, moments of happiness can fortify you to deal with the difficulties we are all facing. In other words, joy is a necessity, not a luxury right now. That is just one of many wisdom bombs Boorstein drops in this conversation. We also discuss how to cultivate "inner cordiality" and the quality of mind that has become her "savior" in these dark days. Boorstein is a genuine contemplative O.G., part of the vanguard of teachers who introduced mindfulness into the American mainstream. She is still going strong in her mid-eighties, after having lived a colorful life. Not only is she one of America's most respected teachers, but she is also a psychotherapist, peace activist, and grandmother. As you'll hear, when she is not meditating, she is a gifted storyteller. She self-deprecatingly refers to it as "boundless talk-aremia," but I suspect that, for you, listening to Sylvia will, in itself, be a source of delight. Where to find Sylvia Boorstein online: Website: http://www.sylviaboorstein.com/ Social Media: Twitter: @SylviaBoorstein https://twitter.com/sylviaboorstein Facebook: Sylvia Boorstein - https://www.facebook.com/sylviaboorstein/ Book Mentioned: Pay Attention, for Goodness' Sake by Sylvia Boorstein - http://www.sylviaboorstein.com/books Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sylvia-boorstein-237 Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care

8 Apr 20201h 7min

The coronavirus outbreak may pose one of the greatest challenges to romantic relationships in modern memory. For those of us living in close quarters with spouses or partners, how do we live our day to day without resorting to hollering, stony silence, or violations of local and federal statutes? For those of us living alone, what are the rules around online dating? Esther Perel is on the front lines of this battle. She is a renowned psychotherapist who continues to do couples counseling even as the pandemic rages. Much of this work can be heard on her popular podcast Where Should We Begin? She’s also the author of the awesomely-entitled, bestselling book Mating in Captivity. In this episode, we cover the benefits of sex (even if you’re not in the mood), humor, and a specific kind of "thank you." She also holds forth on anticipatory grief and a concept I found particularly compelling: "ambiguous loss." Where to find Esther Perel online: Website: https://www.estherperel.com/ Podcast: https://whereshouldwebegin.estherperel.com/ Podcast: https://howswork.estherperel.com/ Upcoming Live Broadcasts with Esther: "The Art of Us: Love, Loss, and Loneliness Under Lockdown” - https://events.estherperel.com/april-2020-webinar/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/EstherPerel Other Resources Mentioned: Tanya Selvaratman: Where Can Domestic Violence Victims Turn During COVID-19? https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/23/opinion/covid-domestic-violence.html Pauline Boss - Ambiguous Loss - https://www.ambiguousloss.com/ John Gottman - The Gottman Institute - https://www.gottman.com/ Megan Flemming - https://greatlifegreatsex.com/ Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Show Notes: https://tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/esther-perel-236

6 Apr 20201h 12min

A statement of the blazingly obvious: we are living in stressful times. A statement of the slightly less obvious: meditation, while not a panacea, can help. In this episode, we're bringing you one of the western world's greatest living meditation masters: Joseph Goldstein. I'm biased, of course, because he is my meditation teacher. I have known him for many years, and he has had an incalculably positive impact on my life. In fact, he has already come to my rescue once during this pandemic, at a moment when I was personally struggling. And now, I'm excited to unleash him on all of you. In this chat, he lays out a meditative toolkit for navigating the current crisis. His advice is actionable for absolute beginners as well as longtime meditators. Towards the end of the conversation, he proposes one approach that some of you may find deeply challenging, but I find to be extremely compelling. Plug Zone: Insight Meditation Society: https://www.dharma.org/teacher/joseph-goldstein/ Joseph Goldstein Courses & Meditations on the Ten Percent Happier App: https://10percenthappier.app.link/x9Q0TCy36Z Joseph Goldstein Books: https://www.amazon.com/Joseph-Goldstein/e/B00DPSACUW Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Health Care Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/joseph-goldstein-235

1 Apr 20201h 11min

So many of us have people in our lives who we feel are not taking this pandemic seriously enough. How do we handle them? Yell, lecture, call them out on Twitter? What about flooding them with articles? Or is there a saner course of action that is likely to be more effective? In this episode, we have two experts in ethics to sort through this and other ethical dilemmas in the age of COVID. JoAnna Hardy is a meditation teacher with a special interest Buddhist ethics. Greg Epstein is the humanist chaplain at Harvard and MIT. Issues we tackle include: Is it ever ok to break social distancing? What are the ethical implications of moving your family out of the city to the country? And, what about stocking up on toilet paper? Episode Resources: JoAnna Hardy: https://www.joannahardy.org/ JoAnna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joannahardy65/ Greg Epstein: https://chaplains.harvard.edu/people/greg-epstein Greg on Twitter: https://twitter.com/gregmepstein Full Episode Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/joanna-hardy-greg-epstein-234 Ten Percent Happier Live: Website: www.tenpercent.com/live In the Ten Percent Happier App: https://10percenthappier.app.link/TenPercentHappierLIVE YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb3AWCFuxotrXmgqUHQdwyg

27 Mars 20201h

If, given the deeply suboptimal circumstances in which we find ourselves right now, you are cycling through anxiety, depression, anger, and apathy, I suspect this conversation with legendary meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg may elevate your mood. It certainly worked for me. I was in a little bit of a dark place when I hopped on the line with her- stuck in a story about how this pandemic is a waking nightmare with no expiration date. But there is something powerful about talking to someone who has spent 50 years dedicated to meditation and Buddhism. She provides a reframing, a dose of perspective, and practical, science-backed skills. Plus, like many of the best meditation teachers, she is quite funny. Enjoy. Full Show Notes: http://tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sharon-salzberg-232 Sharon Salzberg's Resources: Website: https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/ Books: https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/books-audio/ Podcast: https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/metta-hour-podcast/ Ten Percent Happier LIVE: Website: www.tenpercent.com/live In the Ten Percent Happier App: https://10percenthappier.app.link/TenPercentHappierLIVE YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb3AWCFuxotrXmgqUHQdwyg

25 Mars 202059min

We are in the middle of a giant, global experiment in remote work. Even in the best of times, working from home is tricky. You're surrounded by distractions: pets, laundry, Netflix. But in the midst of this pandemic, WFH (as the millennials call it) is even harder, given that many of us are cooped up with our children, cut off from our coworkers, and overwhelmed by anxiety. Our guests, Rasmus Hougaard and Jacqueline Carter, from Potential Project, are experts in bringing mindfulness into the workplace. In this episode, we explore solutions to four major problems: distraction, isolation, virtual collaboration, and balancing family life. Plugzone: Website: https://www.potentialproject.com/ Books: https://www.potentialproject.com/books/the-mind-of-the-leader/ Rasmus on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rasmushougaard/ Jacqueline on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jacquelinecarter1/ Other Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: We’ll be streaming live on YouTube at 3PM ET every weekday. If you miss us live, you can catch the episode here at www.tenpercent.com/live or on the Ten Percent Happier app. Full show notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/rasmus-hougaard-jacqueline-carter-232

20 Mars 20201h 4min

We're in the middle of one of the greatest tests for parents in modern memory. Tens of millions of us, cooped up in our homes with our kids, as a consequence of the coronavirus. Susan Kaiser Greenland can help. She's a former corporate attorney who transformed herself into one of the world's leading experts in meditation for kids, teens and parents. In this episode, she delivers tons of practical tips for formal and informal meditation practices -- for all age groups. She also talks about practices that can help parents not turn on one another in this excruciatingly stressful time. Plugzone: Website: https://www.susankaisergreenland.com/ Previous episode with Susan Kaiser Greenland & Annaka Harris, episode #121 Teaching Mindfulness to Kids: https://radiopublic.com/ten-percent-happier-with-dan-harr-WwE9m8/s1!e8765 Other Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: We'll be streaming live on YouTube at 3PM ET every weekday. If you miss us live, you can catch the episode here at www.tenpercent.com/live or on the Ten Percent Happier app. Email address for health care workers who want free access to the app: care@tenpercent.com Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/susan-kaiser-greenland-231

18 Mars 20201h 6min

Many of us can feel burnt out, tired or stretched too thin. It can be hard to balance everything on our plates, especially in work environments that require long hours and multi-tasking. But Alex Soojung-Kim Pang says that overworking can actually hinder productivity, and that working less can help you get more done. After struggling to deal with the pressure of numerous projects as a technology forecaster and consultant, Pang took a sabbatical at Microsoft Research in Cambridge. He realized that he had accomplished more in just a few short months than he typically did at work. Now, Pang challenges the relationship we have with work, claiming that cramming in all those overtime hours is not beneficial to the mind and body. He says working too hard blocks creative flow and has negative effects on quality. Pang discusses how he came to this realization and how it can be applied to your life. Plug Zone Website: http://www.askpang.com/ Website: http://www.strategy.rest/ Books: https://www.amazon.com/Alex-Soojung-Kim-Pang/e/B001KHJ91I Twitter: https://twitter.com/askpang Yung Pueblo featured on ABC's Nightline https://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/video/yung-pueblo-instagram-people-heal-happier-life-69352620 Full Show notes: www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/Alex-Soojung-Kim-Pang-230 Jeff Warren Retreats: https://jeffwarren.org/event/fidgetyskeptics-california/ https://jeffwarren.org/event/how-to-guide-meditation/ https://jeffwarren.org/event/omegaretreat/ Ten Percent Happier Podcast Insiders Feedback Group: https://10percenthappier.typeform.com/to/vHz4q4 Have a question for Dan? Leave us a voicemail: 646-883-8326

11 Mars 20201h 27min