Red Flags: A Conversation with Shalom Task Force Featuring Esther Williams and Shana Frydman [Romance & Commitment 2/5]
18Forty Podcast13 Dec 2022

Red Flags: A Conversation with Shalom Task Force Featuring Esther Williams and Shana Frydman [Romance & Commitment 2/5]

This episode is sponsored by Esther & Jerry Williams in honor of all those who support Shalom Task Force.

If you are in crisis please reach out to the Shalom Task Force Hotline at 888-883-2323.

On this episode of 18Forty, we have a deeply moving conversation on the topic of red flags in relationships. We speak with Esther Williams and Dr. Shoshannah Frydman from Shalom Task Force, and one person who extricated herself from an abusive relationship. The dynamics of relationships, whether healthy, unhealthy, or anywhere in between are complex, and we set out to better our understanding of the signs of relational abuse. Whether or not you have personally struggled with the issues we discuss here, we are all better off when we are more informed about the what and why of relational health, so tune in now.

In this interview, we discuss:

- What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship?

- How can we foster understanding and awareness of the dynamics of healthy and unhealthy relationship dynamics from an earlier age?

- What are the steps one can take to extricate themself or heal from a challenging relationship?

First interview starts at 10:35

The Shalom Task Force, Inc (STF) is a non-profit community organization that aims to combat and prevent domestic violence and foster safe and healthy relationships and families. The STF focuses on helping those in the Jewish community that may not have access to traditional services and that need culturally sensitive programming. The STF runs a free, anonymous hotline that helps individuals find the services they need, provides assistance through legal services, supportive counseling, and referral information, and offers prevention and psychoeducational workshops, trainings, and community programs to increase awareness of relationship abuse and promote healthy relationships.

Dr. Shoshannah Frydman, PhD, LCSW is the executive director of Shalom Task Force. Dr. Frydman is a trauma-informed therapist and advocate who has worked in the field of domestic abuse and family violence in the Jewish community for close to 20 years. Dr. Frydman co-chairs the UJA Taskforce on Family Violence, and was recently appointed to the New York City Mayor’s Office to End Domestic and Gender-Based Violence COVID-19 Response Group. Dr. Frydman previously served as the managing director of Family Violence and Social Services at the Met Council. Dr. Frydman received her MSW from the University of Maryland School of Social Work and her PhD at the Graduate Center of the City University of New York/Hunter College Silberman School of Social Work.

Esther Williams is the President of the Shalom Task Force and a past board member and executive vice president of the Orthodox Union.

References:
Shalom Task Force
“Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001” on 30 Rock
18Forty – Teshuva Series
National Domestic Abuse Hotline
The Patient
“The Quick Shift: Orthodox Jewish Women's Early Marital Sexual Experience” by Shoshannah D. Frydman
“Tradition and Transition. Orthodox Women's Experience with Kallah Classes and Early Marital Intimacy” by Shoshannah D. Frydman
The Vow
The Greatest Average American by Nate Bargatze
This Is Us
The NCSY box
Shalom Task Force Guides and Educational Materials
I'm so Confused, Am I Being Abused? Guidance for the Orthodox Jewish Spouse and Those Who Want to Help by Lisa G. Twersky
Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft
Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship by Lisa A. Fontes
No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us by Rachel Louise Snyder

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

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Rabbi David Fohrman: Does the Torah Teach Science? [Science 3/4]

Rabbi David Fohrman: Does the Torah Teach Science? [Science 3/4]

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with Rabbi David Fohrman - author, lecturer, and founder of the Aleph Beta Academy - to discuss in what genre the Torah is meant to be, and how that should influence the way we think about it. There are many approaches one could take when confronted with science that seem to contradict parts of the Torah. Some, including Nathan Aviezer, orchestrate elaborate readings of the beginning of Bereishis in accordance with Biblical concordism. Some, like Natan Slifkin, feel comfortable reading the pesukim metaphorically, feeling less need to provide literal reconciliations. Rabbi David Fohrman feels that many people could benefit from thinking more about how the Torah and science coexist, particularly the words of the first few chapters in Bereishis. - In what genre is the Torah?- How should we treat its content?- Does it ever try to teach us empirical facts about the world, or is it trying to give perspective on life?- What other kinds of patterns should we look for in the Torah?Tune in to hear Rabbi David Fohrman discuss the many ways in which we could think about the pesukim in the Torah. For more, visit https://18forty.org/science/#fohrman.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

1 Dec 20201h 15min

Professor Allison Coudert: How did Religion Influence Science? [Science 2/4]

Professor Allison Coudert: How did Religion Influence Science? [Science 2/4]

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with Professor Allison Coudert, of the Department of Religious Studies at UC Davis, to discuss the historical interplay of science with religion, and specifically with Kabbalah. During a 1917 lecture talking about the rational mindset underlying science, Max Weber famously declared that “This means that the world is disenchanted.” Though this sentiment has permeated the public consciousness, Allison thinks the real story is more complicated. She thinks that science and enlightenment philosophy only heightened the magic we humans could experience, and that enlightenment movements have done so historically. In her mind, religion and science aren’t opponents, as they’re so often framed, but engage in a mutually-beneficial relationship, each inspiring and strengthening the other. - What has the historical interplay of science and religion been?- What influence has Kabbalah specifically had on scientists’ thought?- What connotations do the words “modernity” and “enlightenment” tend to evoke in listeners?- And are these evocations justified?Tune in to hear Allison Coudert discuss the influence that Jewish thought has had since the Scientific Revolution. For more, visit https://18forty.org/science/#coudert.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

24 Nov 202059min

Dr. Jeremy England: What Does a Scientist See in the Torah? [Science 1/4]

Dr. Jeremy England: What Does a Scientist See in the Torah? [Science 1/4]

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with Dr. Jeremy England, physicist and biologist, to discuss his lives as a Jew and an academic, and how, if at all, those lives interact. Jeremy grew up a barely-affiliated Jew and obtained a degree in biochemistry from Harvard, but discovered his love for Judaism and began reading authors like Rabbi Jonathan Sacks and Ruth Weiss. He is an accomplished scientist, having posited the theory of dissipative adaptation to explain abiogenesis, but still sees a depth and meaning to the words of the Torah. Though science plays an important role in his life, he feels that has managed to find a role for Torah despite this fact without compromising on the ideals of either. - What are the abilities and limitations of science?- What are the abilities and limitations of Torah?- As a scientist, how did Jeremy reconcile the two as he became more religious?- How does the study of each compare to the other?- And what role should they ultimately play in one’s life?Tune in to hear Jeremy England discuss his theory of abiogenesis and of living an intellectually complete life. For more, visit https://18forty.org/science/#england.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

17 Nov 20201h 49min

Rav Moshe Weinberger: Can Mysticism Become a Community? [Mysticism 3/3]

Rav Moshe Weinberger: Can Mysticism Become a Community? [Mysticism 3/3]

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with Rav Moshe Weinberger, rabbi and educator, to discuss the role of mysticism in modern-day Judaism. Rav Weinberger grew up Modern Orthodox and became attracted to Chassidus at a young age. Though he is a fan of the yeshiva system and believes that Halakha cannot be compromised, he has long watched with anguish as countless products of the system have been turned off by the dry, inhumane version of Yiddishkeit taught to them. Rav Weinberger believes that Jewish education must evolve over time, and that Chassidus is as good an approach as any for the current generation. -How can one go about strengthening their connection to Hashem?-What are the educational challenges of today’s generation?-Where does the modern-day yeshiva system succeed, and where does it fail its students?-And how can we attempt to tweak the system to suit everyone’s needs?Tune in to hear Rav Moshe Weinberger discuss the challenges that he sees facing today’s generation of young Jews. For more, visit https://18forty.org/mysticism/#weinberger.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

3 Nov 20201h 12min

Dr. Ora Wiskind: How do you Read a Mystical Text? [Mysticism 2/3]

Dr. Ora Wiskind: How do you Read a Mystical Text? [Mysticism 2/3]

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with Dr. Ora Wiskind, professor and author, to discuss her life journey, both as a Jew and as an academic, and her attitude towards mysticism.Ora grew up in a Reform family in Ohio, receiving a top-notch secular education but a minimal Jewish one. After studying in France and Germany she found herself in Israel, eventually becoming Orthodox despite her rebellious nature. With her background in literature, she has contributed unique, hermeneutic perspectives on some Hasidic masters, like Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, and continues to break new ground with her scholarship on mysticism.-What are mysticism and rationalism, and what are the appeals of both mindsets?-How did someone with Ora’s background end up writing about the mystical works of Rebbe Nachman?-How has her background in literature influenced her writings?-How does she approach her work as a religious academic, where she must stay objective about the content she studies despite it giving her religious inspiration?-And how has being an Orthodox woman shaped her career?Tune in to hear Ora Wiskind discuss mysticism in the modern world and its relation to her academic work.For more, visit https://18forty.org/mysticism/#wiskind.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

27 Okt 20201h 5min

Joey Rosenfeld: Can Mysticism Heal Us? [Mysticism 1/3]

Joey Rosenfeld: Can Mysticism Heal Us? [Mysticism 1/3]

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with Joey Rosenfeld, social worker and kabbalist, to talk about the differences between mysticism and rationalism and the roles they should play in our lives. Mysticism is often misunderstood and dismissed by rationalists without much thought, but what is mysticism? One might define it by what it’s not: reductionism, which combined with complexity is science. But what if we saw things as their whole instead of their constituent parts? Maybe we’re limiting ourselves by reducing the big picture to a list of atomic components; maybe seeing the unfiltered unity in all things would be freeing. Joey Rosenfeld began to learn Kabbalah in depth in yeshiva, when he was supposed to be dedicating his time to Talmud, and found its ideas to be profoundly life-changing. He does not fit the stereotype of the secluded, white-bearded mystic, as he is a social worker and addiction counselor. As someone with a unique window into people’s vulnerabilities, Joey sees deep connections between Kabbalah and psychology, particularly in the theory behind Alcoholics Anonymous, which drew from the work of Carl Jung. -What are the differences between rationalism and mysticism?-Are they compatible or incompatible?-What approach should people take when learning Kabbalah?-Are there parallels between mysticism and therapy?-And how is or isn’t mysticism suited for a modern audience?Tune in to hear Joey discuss the role that mysticism plays in his life, and how one can find peace in transcending rationality. For more, visit https://18forty.org/mysticism/#rosenfeld.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

20 Okt 20201h 24min

Samuel G. Freedman: Can Jew vs. Jew Ever Become Jew with Jew? [Peoplehood 4/4]

Samuel G. Freedman: Can Jew vs. Jew Ever Become Jew with Jew? [Peoplehood 4/4]

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with Professor of Journalism at Columbia and author, Samuel G. Freedman, to talk about dissent not as a cause of ugliness and divide, but of beauty and unity. Some would say that disagreement isn’t a bug of the Jewish community, but a feature. We have a rich history of debate in the Talmud and haven’t been able to shake this dubious quality even in the modern day United States. The internet has only exaggerated this, and while one can argue for the benefits of dissent, the fact that Jews seem embroiled in a perpetual state of debate remains. -Is debate a healthy state of mind for our community?-Should we be looking to avoid debate or embrace it?-Does dissent cause only divide or can it be used as a means of understanding the other members of our community?Tune in to hear Samuel discuss the roles that individual Jews play in the larger debate that is the Jewish community. For more, visit https://18forty.org/peoplehood/#freedmanBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

29 Sep 202045min

Bethany S. Mandel: Jews without Community [Peoplehood 3/4]

Bethany S. Mandel: Jews without Community [Peoplehood 3/4]

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we sit down with conservative journalist and cultural commentator, Bethany S. Mandel, to talk about the entrances and exits of her life, reconstructing Jewish identity, and creating a Jewish home outside of the Jewish community. Bethany has written for the New York Times and Washington Post, and now serves as an opinion columnist for the Forward, a contributor to the Washington Examiner's Beyond the Beltway blog, and is an editor at Richocet.com. She is a sharp writer and speaker about Jewish communal life, particularly about conversion, and has written about the impact of the Freundel affair on her life. -Can one be a member of the Jewish community while living outside the institutions that constitute the community?-Can you love Judaism, but not Jews?-How does one deal with disappointment in Judaism, particularly at the hands of a Jewish leader?-How can we build reconciliation and create a more empathetic community?Tune in to hear Bethany discuss the relationship between Jews and the Jewish community, and why her Jewish community is her home. For more, visit https://18forty.org/peoplehood/#mandelBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

22 Sep 202043min

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