Red Flags: A Conversation with Shalom Task Force Featuring Esther Williams and Shana Frydman [Romance & Commitment 2/5]
18Forty Podcast13 Dec 2022

Red Flags: A Conversation with Shalom Task Force Featuring Esther Williams and Shana Frydman [Romance & Commitment 2/5]

This episode is sponsored by Esther & Jerry Williams in honor of all those who support Shalom Task Force.

If you are in crisis please reach out to the Shalom Task Force Hotline at 888-883-2323.

On this episode of 18Forty, we have a deeply moving conversation on the topic of red flags in relationships. We speak with Esther Williams and Dr. Shoshannah Frydman from Shalom Task Force, and one person who extricated herself from an abusive relationship. The dynamics of relationships, whether healthy, unhealthy, or anywhere in between are complex, and we set out to better our understanding of the signs of relational abuse. Whether or not you have personally struggled with the issues we discuss here, we are all better off when we are more informed about the what and why of relational health, so tune in now.

In this interview, we discuss:

- What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship?

- How can we foster understanding and awareness of the dynamics of healthy and unhealthy relationship dynamics from an earlier age?

- What are the steps one can take to extricate themself or heal from a challenging relationship?

First interview starts at 10:35

The Shalom Task Force, Inc (STF) is a non-profit community organization that aims to combat and prevent domestic violence and foster safe and healthy relationships and families. The STF focuses on helping those in the Jewish community that may not have access to traditional services and that need culturally sensitive programming. The STF runs a free, anonymous hotline that helps individuals find the services they need, provides assistance through legal services, supportive counseling, and referral information, and offers prevention and psychoeducational workshops, trainings, and community programs to increase awareness of relationship abuse and promote healthy relationships.

Dr. Shoshannah Frydman, PhD, LCSW is the executive director of Shalom Task Force. Dr. Frydman is a trauma-informed therapist and advocate who has worked in the field of domestic abuse and family violence in the Jewish community for close to 20 years. Dr. Frydman co-chairs the UJA Taskforce on Family Violence, and was recently appointed to the New York City Mayor’s Office to End Domestic and Gender-Based Violence COVID-19 Response Group. Dr. Frydman previously served as the managing director of Family Violence and Social Services at the Met Council. Dr. Frydman received her MSW from the University of Maryland School of Social Work and her PhD at the Graduate Center of the City University of New York/Hunter College Silberman School of Social Work.

Esther Williams is the President of the Shalom Task Force and a past board member and executive vice president of the Orthodox Union.

References:
Shalom Task Force
“Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001” on 30 Rock
18Forty – Teshuva Series
National Domestic Abuse Hotline
The Patient
“The Quick Shift: Orthodox Jewish Women's Early Marital Sexual Experience” by Shoshannah D. Frydman
“Tradition and Transition. Orthodox Women's Experience with Kallah Classes and Early Marital Intimacy” by Shoshannah D. Frydman
The Vow
The Greatest Average American by Nate Bargatze
This Is Us
The NCSY box
Shalom Task Force Guides and Educational Materials
I'm so Confused, Am I Being Abused? Guidance for the Orthodox Jewish Spouse and Those Who Want to Help by Lisa G. Twersky
Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft
Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship by Lisa A. Fontes
No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us by Rachel Louise Snyder

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

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Comedy Conclusion

Comedy Conclusion

As we live through the ups and downs of life, laughter begins to play an invaluable role in our mental well-being. Perhaps comedy can provide a helpful lens through which to view the sometimes stressful responsibilities of our life.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

19 Juli 20207min

Leah Forster: Of Comedy and Community

Leah Forster: Of Comedy and Community

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, David sits down with Leah Forster, an ex-Hasidic comedian to talk about how her journey has affected her comedy. Leah found comedy at a young age and pioneered comedy by women for women in the ultra-Orthodox world. She realized that the ultra-Orthodox life she grew up with caused a deep conflict within herself and she left to remain true to her authentic self. She was later at the center of a controversy where two bookings at kosher restaurants were cancelled, with their kashrus organizations threatening to pull their certifications because she was lesbian. How has Leah kept her comedy positive and free of bitterness and cynicism? How has she stayed positive in her personal life when dealing with these hardships? What lessons has she learned from them? And does she see herself as a role model to religious people who are realizing that they don’t fit within their community? Tune in as Leah reflects on her journey in between demonstrations of her many comedic personas.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

12 Juli 202044min

Gary Gulman: This Impossible Life

Gary Gulman: This Impossible Life

This episode is sponsored by Louis and Debby FlancbaumIn this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, David sits down with Gary Gulman, a world-famous comedian with comedy specials on Netflix and HBO, to talk about the relationship between comedy and the art of living.Gary grew up with a close relationship to God and was deeply depressed as a child. He thought he would be happy if he mastered something, so he resolved to become a good basketball player, then a successful accountant. But a change in perspective led him to try comedy, and he has since felt much more fulfilled. How does one construct meaning in their life? Does comedy help construct meaning or have any other value? Can one feel fulfilled if they feel average, or does one have to excel to be happy? And how does Gary’s Jewish identity play into his life philosophy? Tune in to hear Gary reflect on his comedic journey and the role it has played in finding meaning in his life.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

5 Juli 202056min

Comedy Intro

Comedy Intro

David explains how comedy and humor can uncover a mystical oneness that allows us to construct meaning and community from mundane occurrences.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

28 Juni 20209min

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OTD: Leaving Religion Conclusion

28 Maj 20206min

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Kelsey Osgood: A Conversion Narrative of Sorts

28 Maj 202040min

Philo Judaeus: Is There a Room for Dialogue?

Philo Judaeus: Is There a Room for Dialogue?

In this episode of the 18Forty podcast, David invites a man who goes by the pseudonym Philo Judaeus – former member of the Orthodox Jewish community and moderator of the ambitious Frum/OTD Dialogue Facebook group – to discuss the intersection of philosophy and religiosity. According to Philo, even most of the greatest atheistic cosmologists would concede that there are compelling arguments for the existence of a divine being, and yet these same scientists remain atheist. Our deep-rooted motivations behind religious commitment may often go unquestioned, and Philo suggests this as a worthy mental exercise. In our commitment to religious observance, or lack thereof, how prevalent are the elements of logic? Pragmatism? Blind faith? How deep into these philosophical rabbit-holes must we venture, as individuals, to achieve fulfilment? Many times, it’s the way we resolve these philosophical questions that direct us one way or another. Tune in to join David and Philo Judaeus as they explore how we can build understanding between the frum and OTD community, perhaps first by understanding ourselves.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

28 Maj 20201h 18min

Shulem Deen: Faith, without Faith

Shulem Deen: Faith, without Faith

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, David discusses with special guest and former member of the Ultra-Orthodox community, Shulem Deen, the struggle and importance of balancing one’s individual needs with those of the community. Though many of us are aware of the extreme disconnect that exists between the Ultra-Orthodox Jewish community and the secular world, the result of this unfortunate dynamic offers powerful insight. In particular, the intense and likely under-discussed experience of ex-Ultra-Orthodox community members (a group referred to by many as ‘Off The Derech’ or OTD) raises important questions about the reality of this intercommunity conflict and life as a modern Jew. In what ways do the religious and secular worlds misunderstand each other? What are the strengths and weaknesses of the Ultra-Orthodox and secular worlds in facilitating a positive life for their members? How can we as individuals combat the inescapable myopia of living within a social bubble? Tune in to join David and Shulem in seeking answers to these important questions.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

28 Maj 202059min

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