Red Flags: A Conversation with Shalom Task Force Featuring Esther Williams and Shana Frydman [Romance & Commitment 2/5]
18Forty Podcast13 Dec 2022

Red Flags: A Conversation with Shalom Task Force Featuring Esther Williams and Shana Frydman [Romance & Commitment 2/5]

This episode is sponsored by Esther & Jerry Williams in honor of all those who support Shalom Task Force.

If you are in crisis please reach out to the Shalom Task Force Hotline at 888-883-2323.

On this episode of 18Forty, we have a deeply moving conversation on the topic of red flags in relationships. We speak with Esther Williams and Dr. Shoshannah Frydman from Shalom Task Force, and one person who extricated herself from an abusive relationship. The dynamics of relationships, whether healthy, unhealthy, or anywhere in between are complex, and we set out to better our understanding of the signs of relational abuse. Whether or not you have personally struggled with the issues we discuss here, we are all better off when we are more informed about the what and why of relational health, so tune in now.

In this interview, we discuss:

- What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship?

- How can we foster understanding and awareness of the dynamics of healthy and unhealthy relationship dynamics from an earlier age?

- What are the steps one can take to extricate themself or heal from a challenging relationship?

First interview starts at 10:35

The Shalom Task Force, Inc (STF) is a non-profit community organization that aims to combat and prevent domestic violence and foster safe and healthy relationships and families. The STF focuses on helping those in the Jewish community that may not have access to traditional services and that need culturally sensitive programming. The STF runs a free, anonymous hotline that helps individuals find the services they need, provides assistance through legal services, supportive counseling, and referral information, and offers prevention and psychoeducational workshops, trainings, and community programs to increase awareness of relationship abuse and promote healthy relationships.

Dr. Shoshannah Frydman, PhD, LCSW is the executive director of Shalom Task Force. Dr. Frydman is a trauma-informed therapist and advocate who has worked in the field of domestic abuse and family violence in the Jewish community for close to 20 years. Dr. Frydman co-chairs the UJA Taskforce on Family Violence, and was recently appointed to the New York City Mayor’s Office to End Domestic and Gender-Based Violence COVID-19 Response Group. Dr. Frydman previously served as the managing director of Family Violence and Social Services at the Met Council. Dr. Frydman received her MSW from the University of Maryland School of Social Work and her PhD at the Graduate Center of the City University of New York/Hunter College Silberman School of Social Work.

Esther Williams is the President of the Shalom Task Force and a past board member and executive vice president of the Orthodox Union.

References:
Shalom Task Force
“Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001” on 30 Rock
18Forty – Teshuva Series
National Domestic Abuse Hotline
The Patient
“The Quick Shift: Orthodox Jewish Women's Early Marital Sexual Experience” by Shoshannah D. Frydman
“Tradition and Transition. Orthodox Women's Experience with Kallah Classes and Early Marital Intimacy” by Shoshannah D. Frydman
The Vow
The Greatest Average American by Nate Bargatze
This Is Us
The NCSY box
Shalom Task Force Guides and Educational Materials
I'm so Confused, Am I Being Abused? Guidance for the Orthodox Jewish Spouse and Those Who Want to Help by Lisa G. Twersky
Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft
Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship by Lisa A. Fontes
No Visible Bruises: What We Don’t Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us by Rachel Louise Snyder

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

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Emmi Polansky: Finding Agency as a Single Mother [Teshuva IV 4/5]

Emmi Polansky: Finding Agency as a Single Mother [Teshuva IV 4/5]

This series is sponsored by Mira and Daniel Stokar, and this episode is sponsored by dailygiving.org.In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Emmi Polansky, known on social media as @livingemunah, about her journey finding agency as a single mother. Sometimes, when we talk about teshuva, we’re referring to repentance for our specific sins. Another type of teshuva, as we explore, is a return to God as we celebrate our own worthiness and tzelem Elokim. In this episode we discuss:What is it like to participate in chagim and simchas during the process of divorce?How do we pick up the pieces when our plans for a perfect familial and spiritual life fall apart?How did fitness help improve Emmi ‘s mental and emotional health?Tune in to hear a conversation about what it means to repeatedly return to God in times of apparent loneliness. Interview begins at 12:21.References:Chagigah 15aAs a Driven Leaf by Milton SteinbergSin•a•gogue: Sin and Failure in Jewish Thought by David Bashevkin@livingemunah on Instagram Emunah Minute on WhatsAppBilvavi Mishkan Evne18Forty Podcast: “Rav Moshe Weinberger: Can Mysticism Become a Community?”18Forty Podcast: “Moshe and Asher Weinberger: Heart of the Fire”Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch AlbomBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

30 Sep 20241h 14min

Tuvia Tenenbom: How a Secular Jew Came To Love the Haredi World [Teshuva IV 3/5]

Tuvia Tenenbom: How a Secular Jew Came To Love the Haredi World [Teshuva IV 3/5]

This series is sponsored by Mira and Daniel Stokar, and this episode is sponsored by dailygiving.org.In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Tuvia Tenenbom, a formerly Haredi and now secular Jew and the author of Careful, Beauties Ahead!, about how he developed a new love for Haredi religious life.When Tuvia Tenenbom wrote a book about Haredim in Mea Shearim, he found that all Jews—no matter how different their communities—are interconnected in more ways than we might think. In this episode we discuss:How did the Haredi community respond to October 7?What do outsiders misunderstand about Haredi Jews?Is humor the universal Jewish language? Tune in to hear a conversation about what it means to truly love the entirety of the Jewish family. Interview begins at 28:37.Tuvia Tenenbom is an Israeli-American theater director, playwright, and author who is the founding artistic director of the Jewish Theater of New York. He authored several books that deal with themes of Jewish life, Jewish culture, antisemitism, and the Holocaust, including his well-known Catch The Jew!. He joins us to discuss the year he, a secular Jew, spent with the Haredi Jews of Mea Shearim. References:18Forty Podcast: “Joshua Leifer and Shaindy Ort: How Progressive Activists Rediscovered Traditional Jewish Life”Tosafot on PesachimCareful, Beauties Ahead! by Tuvia TenenboCatch The Jew! by Tuvia TenenbomWorks of Tuvia TenenbomBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

24 Sep 20241h 33min

Yussie Zakutinsky: Connecting to a Disconnected Jewish People [Teshuva IV 2/5]

Yussie Zakutinsky: Connecting to a Disconnected Jewish People [Teshuva IV 2/5]

This series is sponsored by Mira and Daniel Stokar, and this episode is sponsored by dailygiving.org.In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Yussie Zakutinsky, rabbi of K’hal Mevakshei Hashem in Lawrence, New York, about his vision for a Judaism that unites the entire Jewish People—no matter how wide the gaps between us. Since October 7, of the many schisms within the Jewish People, some have mended while others are torn anew. As a nation, we have much further to go. In this episode, we discuss:How can we see the divinity in Jews with whom we profoundly disagree?What do we mean when we say “the entirety of the Jewish People is an expression of God”?How can we rescue the divinity within ourselves and within one another?Tune in to hear a conversation about, as the Baal Shem Tov described it, vanquishing the dragon and redeeming the princess—i.e., elevating the good in all the Jewish People. Interview begins at 20:27. Rabbi Yussie Zakutinsky is a rabbi and spiritual leader. He is the rabbi of K’hal Mevakshei Hashem in Lawrence, New York, and is a sought-after lecturer and leader of spiritual happenings.References:Mesillat Yesharim by Moses Chaim LuzzattoDerekh Hashem by Moses Chaim LuzzattoAvodah Zarah 9arabbiywilk.comGenesis 12:518Forty Podcast: “Rabbi YY Jacobson: How Did the Rebbe Revolutionize Judaism?”Works of Rav KookWorks of Rav Tzadok HaKohenDivrei Soferim 16Pachad Yitzchok by Rav Yitzchok HutnerBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

17 Sep 20241h 38min

Joshua Leifer and Shaindy Ort: How Progressive Activists Rediscovered Traditional Jewish Life [Teshuva IV 1/5]

Joshua Leifer and Shaindy Ort: How Progressive Activists Rediscovered Traditional Jewish Life [Teshuva IV 1/5]

This series is sponsored by Mira and Daniel Stokar, and this episode is sponsored by dailygiving.org.In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Joshua Leifer and Shaindy Ort, married progressive activists who are reembracing traditional Jewish life.Joshua and Shaindy grew up in Conservative and Yeshivish communities, respectively, but struggled to find a Jewish community as they joined left-wing circles, specifically those highly critical of Israel. After October 7, Joshua resigned from the anti-Zionist magazine Jewish Currents, and in August, he published Tablets Shattered: The End of an American Jewish Century and the Future of Jewish Life, which made headlines after a Brooklyn bookstore canceled Joshua’s planned talk because it included a Zionist rabbi. In this episode we discuss:Has October 7 changed anything for progressive Jews highly critical of Israel?Why do left-wing circles struggle to maintain engaged Jewish life?What differentiates the Israeli left from the American left?Tune in to hear a conversation about return and renewal for progressive Jews seeking a life of traditional Jewishness.Interview begins at 16:44.Joshua Leifer is a journalist, editor, and translator. His writing has appeared in The New York Times, The New York Review of Books, The Nation, and elsewhere, and he is the author of the new book Tablets Shattered: The End of an American Jewish Century and the Future of Jewish Life.Shaindy Ort-Leifer is an attorney who works in the fields of strategic litigation and international law.Joshua and Shaindy are married.References:Orot HaTeshuvah by Abraham Isaac HaCohen KookTablets Shattered: The End of an American Jewish Century and the Future of Jewish Life by Joshua LeiferSiddur Sefard: “Upon Arising, Upon Entering Synagogue”Jew Vs Jew: The Struggle For The Soul Of American Jewry by Samuel G. FreedmanAfter Virtue by Alasdair MacIntyreHirsch Haggadah by Samson R. HirschArukh HaShulchan by Yechiel Michel EpsteinKitzur Shulchan Arukh by Shlomo GanzfriedDeuteronomyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

10 Sep 20241h 55min

Pawel Maciejko: Sabbateanism and the Roots of Secular Judaism [Denominations: Bonus]

Pawel Maciejko: Sabbateanism and the Roots of Secular Judaism [Denominations: Bonus]

This episode is sponsored by Nishmat, the Jeanie Schottenstein Center for Advanced Torah Study for Women, whose Online Beit Midrash returns on Sept. 8. Women of all backgrounds can learn Talmud, Tanach, Halacha, and more from the comfort of home. For a full class schedule and registration, go here. In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to historian and professor Pawel Maciejko about the false messiah Sabbatai Zevi, Sabbateanism, and the roots of Jewish secularism. Gershom Scholem, the scholar of Kabbalah and Jewish mysticism, saw a connection between the 17th-century messianic movement of Sabbateanism and the later movement of Jewish secularism. Was he right? In this episode we discuss:What was the impact of Sabbateanism after its messianic fervor died down? How can studying Jewish history deepen one’s connection with Judaism? What is Frankism, and why is it a fascination of present-day antisemitic conspiracy theorists?Tune in to hear a conversation about what the rupture from the Sabbatean movement can teach us about the wide range of Jewish identities we see today. Interview begins at 17:05.Pawel Maciejko is an associate professor of history and Leonard and Helen R. Stulman Chair in Classical Jewish Religion, Thought, and Culture at Johns Hopkins University. Between 2005 and 2016 he taught at the Department of Jewish Thought at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. His first book, The Mixed Multitude: Jacob Frank and the Frankist Movement, 1755–1816, was awarded the Salo Baron Prize by the American Academy of Jewish Research and the Jordan Schnitzer Book Award by the Association for Jewish Studies.References:Not in the Heavens: The Tradition of Jewish Secular Thought by David BialeMakers of Jewish Modernity: Thinkers, Artists, Leaders, and the World They Made edited by Jacques Picard, Jacques Revel, Michael P. Steinberg, and Idith Zertal “The Holiness of Sin” by Gershom ScholemMishnah Chagigah 2Ezekiel 1Accounting for the Commandments in Medieval Judaism by Elliot R. WolfsonSabbatian Heresy: Writings on Mysticism, Messianism, and the Origins of Jewish Modernity edited by Pawel MaciejkoThe Mixed Multitude: Jacob Frank and the Frankist Movement, 1755-1816 by Pawel Maciejko“The Messianic Feminism of Shabbatai Zevi and Sarah Ashkenazi” by Jericho VincentOn Repentance and Repair: Making Amends in an Unapologetic World by Danya Ruttenberg“A Portrait of the Kabbalist as a Young Man: Count Joseph Carl Emmanuel Waldstein and His Retinue” by Pawel Maciejko“Gershom Scholem’s dialectic of Jewish history: the case of Sabbatianism” by Pawel MaciejkoSeforimchatter’s Sabbatai Zevi SeriesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

3 Sep 20241h 12min

On Loss: Defending Israel on Oct. 7

On Loss: Defending Israel on Oct. 7

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we speak to the Perez family, whose son Daniel, Hashem yikkom damo, was killed defending Israel and the Jewish People on October 7. We’re joined by Daniel’s father, Doron; his mother, Shelley; and his siblings, Shira, Adina, and Yonatan, to hear about Daniel’s courageous life and the unfathomable loss endured by his family and the Jewish People. In this episode we discuss:What does living a life of sanctity and purpose mean, especially in the face of terror and tragedy? How did Daniel’s siblings cope with the loss of their beloved brother? Amid the absence of loss, how can we find the presence of purpose?Tune in to hear a conversation about the clarity of mission that might help us heal from the trauma of October 7.Interview begins at 28:00.References:Jerusalem Talmud Berakhot 2:4 Parshat Sh'lachShuvi V'nechze Al H'torah by Rabbi Moshe ShapiroPeri Tzadik by Rav Tzadok HaKohen of LublinJerusalem Talmud Berakhot 1:1Psalms 121“Brother” by KodalineEzekiel 16:6The Bayit in every BayitBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

11 Aug 20242h 22min

Yehoshua Pfeffer: 'The army is not ready for real Haredi participation' (18 Questions, 40 Israeli Thinkers)

Yehoshua Pfeffer: 'The army is not ready for real Haredi participation' (18 Questions, 40 Israeli Thinkers)

We're taking a week off from our main podcast, but we want to share with you an episode of our new podcast, 18 Questions, 40 Israeli Thinkers  Subscribe to on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to catch the latest episode every Monday. The Israeli government’s draft of Haredi men is no simple matter—but Yehoshua Pfeffer has some ideas for moving forward.Rabbi Yehoshua Pfeffer is a Haredi social thinker and activist intimately involved in Haredi affairs. He heads the Iyun Institute—which operates programs and publications in the Haredi space—is the founding editor of Tzarich Iyun journal, and serves on the executive board of Netzah Yehuda, which serves Haredi soldiers in the IDF.While also teaching as a professor at Hebrew University’s law school, he is the rabbi of Ohr Chadash in Ramot Bet, Jerusalem. Yehoshua’s life is guided by his convictions.Now, he sits down with us to answer 18 questions on Israel, including the Haredi draft, Israel as a religious state, Messianism, and so much more.This interview was held on July 2.Here are our 18 questions:As an Israeli, and as a Jew, how are you feeling at this moment in Israeli history?What has been Israel’s greatest success and greatest mistake in its war against Hamas?What do you look for in deciding which Knesset party to vote for?Which is more important for Israel: Judaism or democracy?Should Israel be a religious state?Do you think the State of Israel is part of the final redemption?Is Messianism helpful or harmful to Israel?Should Israel treat its Jewish and non-Jewish citizens the same?Should all Israelis serve in the army?Now that Israel already exists, what is the purpose of Zionism?Is opposing Zionism inherently antisemitic?If you were making the case for Israel, where would you begin?Can questioning the actions of Israel’s government and army — even in the context of this war — be a valid form of love and patriotism?What do you think is the most legitimate criticism leveled against Israel today?Do you think peace between Israelis and Palestinians will happen within your lifetime?Are political and religious divides a major problem in Israeli society?Where do you identify on Israel’s political and religious spectrum, and do you have friends on the “other side”?Do you have more hope or fear for Israel and the Jewish People?Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

6 Aug 202459min

Eli Rubin: Is the Rebbe the Messiah? [Mysticism II 4/4]

Eli Rubin: Is the Rebbe the Messiah? [Mysticism II 4/4]

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Eli Rubin—a scholar, Lubavitcher Hasid, and author of the forthcoming book Kabbalah and the Rupture of Modernity: An Existential History of Chabad Hasidism—about life’s big cosmic questions.Chabad and the Rebbe are so ubiquitous in Jewish life that we tend to overlook Chabad’s underlying philosophy. Here, we take the time to look under the hood of the Mitzvah Tank. In this episode we discuss:At its core, what is Hasidism about, and how did the Rebbe implement these essentials in a new time and a new land? What should we picture when we imagine moshiach? Has Chabad splintered off from mainstream Judaism the way some have feared?Tune in to hear a conversation about what it means to want moshiach now. Interview begins at 11:27. Eli Rubin, a contributing editor at Chabad.org, is the author of Kabbalah and the Rupture of Modernity: An Existential History of Chabad Hasidism (forthcoming from Stanford University Press). He was a co-author of Social Vision: The Lubavitcher Rebbe's Transformative Paradigm for the World (Herder and Herder, 2019). He studied Chassidic literature and Jewish Law at the Rabbinical College of America and at Yeshivot in the UK, the US and Australia, and received his PhD from the Department of Hebrew and Jewish Studies, University College London.References:Kabbalah and the Rupture of Modernity: An Existential History of Chabad Hasidism by Eli RubinSocial Vision: The Lubavitcher Rebbe's Transformative Paradigm for the World by Philip Wexler, Eli Rubin, and Michael Wexler18Forty Podcast: “Eli Rubin: How Do Mysticism and Social Action Intersect”Tanya, Part I; Likkutei Amarim 32Tanya, Part I; Likkutei Amarim 36Open Secret: Postmessianic Messianism and the Mystical Revision of Menahem Mendel Schneerson by Elliot R. WolfsonMishneh Torah, Kings and Wars 12Eruvin 13bThe Rebbe, the Messiah, and the Scandal of Orthodox Indifference by David BergerThe Messiah Problem by Chaim RapoportIggeret HaKodesh: Epistle 27Engaging the Essence: The Philosophy of the Lubavitcher Rebbe by Rabbi Dr. Yosef BronsteinBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/18forty-podcast--4344730/support.

30 Juli 20241h 43min

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