Traffic School - 02/07/2025

Viktor Wilt kicked off Traffic School by immediately blinding everyone in the studio with his absurdly bright new lights, forcing Lieutenant Crain to wear sunglasses like he was auditioning for a Top Gun sequel. Meanwhile, Lt. Crain's wife Misty announced she was escaping the snowy wasteland of Idaho for a California beach getaway, leaving Victor to question his life choices.

Callers did not disappoint. One guy hit an elk, donated the meat, and received a heartfelt thank-you card from his local auto body shop, which now considers him a VIP customer. Another caller had a serious rant about people failing to merge properly on the freeway, proving that Idaho drivers are still out here making up their own rules. And Crazy Carl called in, because of course he did, to discuss the deep philosophical connection between classic cars and beer.

Meanwhile, a heated debate broke out over window tint, revealing that one guy got caught driving a stolen vehicle simply because his illegal tint job got him pulled over. Pro tip: If you're in a stolen car, maybe don’t also make it a mobile cave. Then, a discussion about blind people and concealed carry somehow led to a nostalgic story about a fearless blind kid ripping around on a four-wheeler, proving once and for all that some people have way more faith in their friends than they should.

As the show wrapped up, Misty casually threatened her husband with the power of El Presidente law, a guy named Dustin had an existential crisis about Idaho labor laws, and Lieutenant Crain resisted the urge to arrest anyone (this time). All in all, it was a morning of chaos, questionable decisions, and a strong reminder that Idaho drivers will never, ever learn how to merge.

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