Your Anxiety Toolkit - Practical Skills for Anxiety, Panic & Depression20 Nov 2020

Ep.166: Are Feelings of Hyper-Responsibility Getting in Your Way?

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today I wanted to talk to you about something that I have been struggling with recently. So you all know that I made the decision to travel back to Australia to visit my family. This decision caused a good deal of anxiety initially, but I also soon recognized that feelings of hyper-responsibility, such as am I being irresponsible by going home, were popping up as well.

I had to break this down. Why do we have this sense of hyper-responsibility to always do things "right"? That level of responsibility can cause us a tremendous degree of anxiety. We tend to put expectations that are unrealistic on ourselves to be perfect, good, the fixer of all things broken. So how can we take a step back from that? We actually exist on a spectrum. When you are anxious, maybe you need to recognize that so much of that anxiety is driven from these feelings of hyper-responsibility, from this fear of being irresponsible. That's key, my friends. Just because you feel it doesn't mean it's the truth. Just because you feel irresponsible doesn't mean you are irresponsible.

We sometimes have to check the facts. I'm encouraging you to do a check on this hyper-responsibility and see if you can tone it down to a place that's healthy. You can check yourself as you start to respond in a compulsive or an avoidant or reassuring way and you can say, "Hey, is this being led by hyper-responsibility? And if so, where can I land that's healthy." I want you to challenge yourself in this area. Practice stepping back and letting somebody else be the responsible one for a minute or an hour or a day or a year. Try recognizing that yes you have some responsibilities, but also recognize where that hyper-responsibility may be getting in your way.

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