Traffic School - 03/07/2025

Today's show kicks off with the hosts struggling with the cruel reality of aging—apparently, ranting about something and forgetting it the next day is the new normal. But fear not, Crazy Carl saves the day, calling in to talk about hot rods, free cars, and his inability to spell. He tries to give away his beefed-up 72 Pinto, but somehow, nobody’s biting on the deal of a lifetime. Meanwhile, the age-old debate about Daylight Saving Time ignites social media rage, leading to a dramatic blocking incident.

Then comes a string of bizarre yet wonderful calls: a guy named Damien needs legal advice on fireworks (spoiler alert: "safe and sane" is the least fun phrase ever), a CDL driver stumps the lieutenant with a tricky medical card question, and another caller complains about drivers using their turn signals incorrectly—because, you know, that’s the biggest problem on the road. Things really heat up when a trucker calls in to school everyone on semi-truck etiquette, because apparently, some drivers think they can outmaneuver a 12,000-pound truck like it’s a go-kart.

The chaos climaxes with a call about a viral video of a guy identifying as a cat during a police stop, which the lieutenant immediately labels as fake news—because even he knows no cop is that witty. Oh, and just when you thought things couldn’t get any weirder, there’s a brief but passionate discussion about puking on airplanes, which naturally leads to a debate on suction power in airplane toilets. Classic.

The episode wraps up with a recruitment pitch for the Idaho State Police, a PSA about watching out for motorcycles, and a warning that the weather is warming up—which means one thing: shirtless Viktor in a cowboy hat is coming. And with that terrifying mental image, the show comes to a close.

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