80: Real Talk, About Being A Male Victim of Sexual and Physical Abuse – Brian Cardoza
40 Plus: Gay Men. Gay Talk.1 Juli 2020

80: Real Talk, About Being A Male Victim of Sexual and Physical Abuse – Brian Cardoza

Imagine hiding a secret that made you question who you are, if you did something wrong, and causing you to feel like you are not worthy. Now imagine all of this started for you when you were 3, 5, 12. It happened at an age where you were meant to trust an adult, not fear them. All of this weighing on you as you enter into middle school, high school, college, young adult life, and beyond - without anyone know the depth of your secret - that you were physically and sexaully abused. It' not an easy conversation, and that's why we're having it today.

Brian Cardoza, joins me as the two of talk about our experiences of being sexually and physically abused as young me, the toll it has taken on our lives and how we finally found the power to report and talk about it. We know there are many men out there who still struggle to find their voice in this arena so they can be heard, release their pain, and heal. That's why we're having the difficult but necessary conversation today.

About Brian

"We become a Superhero", writes adult Brian Cardoza in a letter to his 6-year-old self. "We are mighty little one. And we are brave." Brian suffered repeated sexual assault and physical abuse as a child. He left home at the age of fifteen, nearly freezing to death the first night on his own. Brian knows the trauma and despair victims must overcome to survive. He not only chose to survive, he chose to give voice to an unspeakable topic and to challenge the stigma and shame often associated with male survivors of abuse.

Now an inspirational speaker, author, and artist, Brian's message is one of responsibility and hope, and he works diligently to raise awareness and money to fight against childhood sexual assault and physical abuse. A believer in the potential to change, Brian's motto, "Don't let this moment dictate the next moment" is familiar to many he inspires.

Brian and his story are featured in a number of national and international projects including a documentary for the EU, Forced, Promise Place's documentary Ripple Effects, The BristleCone Project, and Huffington Post's HuffPost Live segment for Child Abuse Awareness Month. He has been a contributing poet for Purple Sparks and a keynote speaker for a multitude of events highlighting abuse. And he's a certified OVC TTAC Consultant and RAINN Speaker.

Brian's love for art began with drawing as a child. He experimented with different mediums from charcoal to stone sculpting. Stopping for a number of years to focus on culinary endeavors, Brian picked art back up at a time when he felt most alone. Today, Brian's art takes various forms including magnificently colored refurbished bicycles that he donates to children. He's passionate about learning new techniques and styles and the creative process continues to heal the child within.

Brian founded The Broken Knee Club, a non-profit organization created to provide a safe haven for all sexes to comfortably speak out about their experience of childhood and adult sexual assault. In collaboration with others, Brian is building Survivor Knights, a community healing through creative expression. Survivor Knights' exhibits highlight the enormity of the journey from trauma to healing through dark and bright works of art. Brian's words of encouragement to survivors, "Your darkest moments may be the light for another."

Connect With Brian

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139: Why Open Relationships Work – Canaan

139: Why Open Relationships Work – Canaan

If you don't like gay marriage, then don't marry someone who's gay. If you don't approve of abortion, then don't have one. And, if you don't want an open relationship, then don't be in one, and stop throwing shade on those who do. What a couple does in their relationship is what works for them and today we are having a very candid and fun conversation about the in's and out's, the good and bad, and the honesty it takes to be in an open relationship. Join me and fellow podcast host, and actor Canaan, as we explore the adventure of having an open relationship. About Canaan Canaan is an actor and artist from Essex County, New Jersey. He is best known for his award winning role in the short film 'Last Tonight,' as well as appearances in 'Chirp, Buzz, and Other Sensations,' and 'The Education of a Negro.' Through his work, Canaan seeks to defy stereotypes associated with gay, black men, creating thought-provoking work and starting important conversations. In addition to his work as an actor, he is involved in several other artistic pursuits, including writing and directing, podcasting, and photography. He resides in West Los Angeles with his husband. Connect With Canaan Website Facebook Instagram Twitter Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

24 Sep 202143min

138: Gay Man’s Manifesto For Living: Part 3 – Rick Clemons

138: Gay Man’s Manifesto For Living: Part 3 – Rick Clemons

We're coming into the home stretch of this three part series that explores 12 manifestos that I have uncovered for gay man that truly inspire them to live and be who they are in the world - no excuses, no fears, no apologies. Here's the final four manifestos for living life on your terms. Download The Manifesto Click Here Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

17 Sep 202111min

142.1: 20 Years of Making It Work With My Man – Rick Clemons

142.1: 20 Years of Making It Work With My Man – Rick Clemons

I can't believe I'm saying this, but we've made it work, last, thrive, and sometimes even survive. Yup, me and my guy - George Solis - are celebrating 20 years of being with and loving each other. Here's some of my best tips for making this relationship stand the test of time, and gassy farts in bed! Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

16 Sep 202111min

137: Gay Man’s Manifesto For Living: Part 2 – Rick Clemons

137: Gay Man’s Manifesto For Living: Part 2 – Rick Clemons

As a gay man, have you ever struggled? Felt exhausted by trying to do the right things for your life? Felt like everything was in vain and just wanted to give up? Maybe it's time for a Manifesto, one that inspires you each and everyday to life your life on your terms. This three part series explores 12 manifestos that I have uncovered for gay man that truly inspire them to live and be who they are in the world - no excuses, no fears, no apologies. Let's dive into manifestos 5 - 8. Download The Manifesto Click Here Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

10 Sep 202111min

136: Gay Man’s Manifesto For Living: Part 1 – Rick Clemons

136: Gay Man’s Manifesto For Living: Part 1 – Rick Clemons

As a gay man, have you ever struggled? Felt exhausted by trying to do the right things for your life? Felt like everything was in vain and just wanted to give up? Maybe it's time for a Manifesto, one that inspires you each and everyday to life your life on your terms. This three part series explores 12 manifestos that I have uncovered for gay man that truly inspire them to live and be who they are in the world - no excuses, no fears, no apologies. Let's get started with the first four manifestos. Download The Manifesto Click Here Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

3 Sep 20219min

135: Why are gay friendships so hard to make? – Rick Clemons

135: Why are gay friendships so hard to make? – Rick Clemons

Friendships. Gay Friendships. You either have them or they are completely absent from your life. This is what I hear over, and over, and over from gay men. They can't seem to maintain friendships, and it has nothing to do with hooking up. So why is that and what do you do about it? Let's explore that dilemma! Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

27 Aug 202110min

134: Date Smarter. Sexier – Andrea LaRosa

134: Date Smarter. Sexier – Andrea LaRosa

If your dating expectations constantly leave you disappointed, and the only compatibility you can find is hooking up on Scruff or Grindr, it's time for you to do some introspection and turn your dating habits around. Start connecting with compatibility, connection, and getting up-close and personal and get off the apps. Ok, keep the apps for the occasional, let's just get naked moments, but let your hormone sharing do the work for you by meeting in person, now that we can again, and start dating with intention. This is what is in store for you today as I invite my friend, neighbor, and dating coach Andrea LaRosa into our 40 Plus: Gay Man, Gay Talk world for a feminine point of view as to what gay guys can do better in their dating life. About Andrea Leaving behind her dedicated career as a filmmaker, Andrea decided to pursue a new career as a life coach. After years of living abroad, she decided to move to Central California to begin her journey to help others. She certified as a life coach, relationship coach, and as a master practitioner in NLP. Andrea began her career by hosting local singles events, such as speed dating and lock and key parties. Upon realizing she had a true passion for matchmaking, she turned her coaching focus to all matters of love. Now she coaches for dating, relationships, and breakups, as well as continuing to host singles events and group coaching seminars. Connect With Andrea Website Facebook Instagram LinkedIn Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

20 Aug 202142min

133: How To Start Having Better Sex Now – Rick Clemons

133: How To Start Having Better Sex Now – Rick Clemons

Most gay men enjoy sex. Doesn't matter what that looks like. Whether it is simple intimacy, to dolled up in Leather, or playing in an orgy. We gay men love sex...well for that matter...we men love sex. So how do you tip to through the penises when the sex is no longer so great with your boyfriend, husband, partner, or in your polyamorous relationship? Here's 10 tips to help you ask for and to have powerful communication about having better sex. Hey Guys, Check This Out! Are you a guy who keeps struggling to do that thing? You know the thing you keep telling yourself and others you’re going to do, but never do? Then it’s time to get real and figure out why. Join the 40 Plus Men's Circle. Learn about about - Click Here! Break free of fears. Make bold moves. Live life without apologies P.S. get your free My Bold Life Manifesto, right here - rickclemons.com/manifesto/ You can also listen to the podcast on…

13 Aug 202112min

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