TWIN SCAM: Nick and Shannon Balser Share Their Adoption Story [S8E15]

Shawn and Shannon’s story began with multiple heartbreaks, but their desire to create and grow a family persevered past the disappointments, and they are now parents to three beautiful children. After failed fertility treatments left them feeling disheartened, they were told that adoption was the best option. They decided to pursue foster care first but landed on private infant adoption. At the same time, an episode of ADOPTION NOW got them interested in embryo adoption. On this episode, Shawn and Shannon dive deep into their story and the heartbreaking and heartwarming decisions one is faced with when trying to have children. They share why they decided to listen to their heart and God for answers, and how their ‘empty car seat experience’ ultimately ended up leading to the creation of their family. Here are just a few of the most impactful parts of the episode: [#1 The Devastating Nature of Shawn and Shannon’s Failed Fertility Treatments ] Since her first date with Shawn, Shannon expressed her strong desire to be a mother. And shortly after marriage, they tried their best to have children. But after a year of not conceiving, they decided to see a fertility specialist. They started with fertility treatments and then went to IUI, but were again unsuccessful. Still steadfast and determined to get pregnant, Shawn and Shannon would begin In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) treatment. And despite the confidence of Shannon’s doctor, they were not successful. Yet despite the hardships faced and the tragedy of being called the night before their last round of IVF, when Shawn and Shannon were told not to come in because none of the embryos had continued to divide, they still didn’t lose hope. Shawn and Shannon were overwhelmed with emotion and frustration during their fertility treatments--feeling helpless but ultimately, they maintained faith and hope despite the tribulations they experienced. [#2 Their Decision for Adoption ] Shortly after suffering a year and a half of frustration and tribulation with failed fertility treatments, the newly-married couple set their sights on adoption as a viable option for parenthood. They went through the state first, but this proved to be the wrong route for Shawn and Shannon because the state forbade fertility treatments alongside the foster-to-adoption process. Also, Shawn points out the difficulty of not being able to finalize the adoption for a couple of years with the possibility that the child would be reconnected with their biological parents. As a first step, they decided they weren't emotionally comfortable with a foster-to-adopt dynamic. [#3 Finding the Right Agency and the Importance of Leaving Good Impressions ] For Shawn and Shannon, it was Bethany Christian Services that became the adoption agency they would immediately fall in love with. And just two months later they were matched with an expectant mother! Despite suffering hardship and tragedy with the disruption of their first private infant adoption, they showed the necessary resolve and persevered despite all odds. In the episode, they chronicle just how difficult this period of their lives was. But it was also because of their positive mentality and patience that they were ultimately rewarded in the end. Truly, as Shawn and Shannon have shown through their story, showing grace in the face of disappointment can become very tangible blessings. It’s all about maintaining faith and understanding that your baby’s on the way. It’s only a matter of time!! [#4 Details on Their Overseas Embryo Adoption Experience] As shared in the episode, embryo adoption is a way to adopt a baby with DNA different from your own, but of course, you still get to carry and deliver the baby yourself! Shawn and Shannon decided on going to Prague to undergo the process. They were sent the medication through the mail and it was all needle-free, unlike the IVF treatments that Shannon had undergone. The embryo adoption, including the plane tickets to Prague, was only around $7,000 to $9,000, which is so much less expensive than in the U.S. And the couple has nothing bad to say about the whole process. It was smooth and now, because they had twins they’re an extremely happy family of five!! More details at: ---- Follow us on Twitter @Adoption_now Like the show on Facebook Keep up with our journey on Instagram @adoptionnow ADOPTION NOW is produced and distributed by Simpler Media

21 Mars 201947min

Mike Marsden is an adoptee from Nashville whose story is filled with timing, loss, gratitude, and faith. After being delivered prematurely at only 3 pounds and 2 ounces, Mike spent months in the hospital before finding his forever family. Despite a tragic loss at a young age, Mike was able to move forward and find the courage to reach out and connect with his birth mother, only to suffer yet again. Despite his trials, Mike tells his story with grace, humility, and compassion for others. This inspiring journey is filled with faith re-establishing moments that are sure to help you heal and move forward. Mike is a true example that despite what life can throw at us, it is indeed a beautiful thing. Below are some of key links in Mike’s story that trace the outline of a tragic life, but one that is full of resiliency and strength as well! [#1 Some Details on Mike’s Birth and His First Meeting of His Foster Parents] In the episode, Mike talks about his adoptive parents and how they had fostered about 30 children before they adopted Mike. After adopting Mike as an infant, his parents stopped fostering other children. He was born prematurely at 3 pounds, 2 ounces but flourished despite this tough beginning. And Mike was named as a tribute to his adoptive uncle who passed away while he was still a baby. [#2 Tragedy as a Vehicle for Re-Establishing Your Faith ] Mike wants to remind you that tragedy can be used as a strengthener of your faith. It may not seem like it at the time, but you can build and reinforce your faith as a result of tragic events in your life. He states this because he himself had doubts and his faith had started to waver. But in the long run, he knew that God was looking out for him. [#3 Mike’s Motivations and Methods For Searching for His Biological Mother ] After taking his biological son to the doctor, Mike realized he didn’t have any family medical history to draw from because he was adopted. This was further inspiration to seek his birth mother. After using the DNA tracing service 23andMe, he was able to find a last name which he used as a starting point. While at first this seemed to lead to a dead end, Mike didn’t give up. Mike ended up typing in “Wisconsin Adoption” in a search engine and picked an agency. He then sent a letter, filled an application, and paid $80. And this was last year (2018)! So, this is a viable option for those who have been adopted and looking to connect with their biological parents. [#4 The Emotional Impact of Meeting His Birth Mother After 35 years! ] Mike was ecstatic to learn that after going through the process of finding his birth mother, she agreed to release the necessary information to meet with him! During the episode, Mike also talks about the power of the letter that he wrote to his mother, and how he thinks it ultimately helped them reconnect. And as a testament to the maxim that things work out in the end, what his mother wanted for Mike was indeed provided by his adoptive parents. She wrote a letter back to him with her contact information and they talked and one of the first things they did was meet up! In addition to meeting her son, Mike’s birth mother also got to meet her grandson. [#5 A Miracle of Timing: A Testament Towards Reconnection ] As Mike states, as tragic as the story ends, he ultimately received the blessings of closure and completeness in this aspect of his life. He states that he is wholeheartedly glad he embarked on his journey of reconnection. And he gives advice for adoptees when he states, you really have to be open to any type of outcome when reconnecting with a biological parent. You may not get the outcome you want, but if you don’t do it, you won’t be able to experience the joys as well! More details at: ---- Follow us on Twitter @Adoption_now Like the show on Facebook Keep up with our journey on Instagram @adoptionnow ADOPTION NOW is produced and distributed by Simpler Media

14 Mars 201943min

As always, ADOPTION NOW focuses on the many powerful stories centered around adoption and foster care. This episode also includes a topic April Fallon is new to, the topic of surrogacy. Dr. Claire Dumke tells us the story of her two daughters, Ruby and Hazel, and how she pursued both adoption and surrogacy at the same time. As a result of this, her two daughters were born 8 months apart! Key Links Insights Colorado Assessments and Therapy: (303) 935-5307 The episode focuses on the many joys that were felt throughout her experience, but also on the challenging aspects. And in addition, surrogacy is explained: the price, what to expect, regulations, details on medication, and so forth. Below are four of the most crucial aspects of this episode ranging from surrogacy in a nutshell, transracial adoption, the importance of agencies and the selection process for adoption, as well as the relational interplay between biological and adoptive mothers. [#1 What to Expect When your Surrogate is Expecting] As was the case with Dr. Claire, surrogacy may be an option for a family if they have embryos either through IVF but cannot personally carry them to full term. It is very expensive! Dr. Claire mentions that the price was in the six-figure range at least. But as always, no amount of money is too much for the wonderful gift of life. Dr. Claire also discusses and warns of the emotional distress that can occur for surrogates after they give birth. Counseling is a very powerful tool for this common circumstance and Dr. Claire highly recommends that the biological family is prepared to provide this resource. [#2 Transracial Open Adoption ] Ruby--Dr. Claire’s first daughter and who was adopted through an open agreement with her  African American birth mother--didn’t make Claire nervous in the slightest at the dynamic. Although she does talk about how nervous she was to meet the extended family of the biological mother, she stresses just how beautiful and wonderful Ruby is. The concept of providing racial mirrors for Ruby is brought up as well, meaning that considerable attention to positive reinforcement of Ruby’s racial identity is a large focal point in their family. And through Claire’s relationship with Ruby’s biological mother and her extended family, Ruby has that much more reinforcement. [#3 Agencies and The Adoption Selection Process ] When talking about how expectant  mothers choose adoptive parents for their child, the best advice is, “Be yourself!” As April states; you never know just what detail will stand out and speak to a birth mother in the midst of her choice. And like it is discussed within the episode, the difference between you being chosen or not could have to do with if you have a golden retriever or not; be yourself! Agencies are very important for introducing you to a bigger pool of possibilities for being matched with a child. And the multi-state agencies also give you a higher probability to be selected faster due to more choices. The Adoption Choices of Colorado was the agency Dr. Claire used. She and  her husband were pleasantly surprised to find themselves in Texas for Ruby after just two short months of waiting. [#4 Relationship Dynamics Between Surrogates, Biological Mothers, and Adoptive Parents ] There is a fair amount of discussion on the interactions between adoptive parents, the birth mother and a surrogate mother. There can be a lot of grief after placement, so counseling and sensitivity towards that issue are imperative. As Dr. Claire states during the episode, what words are there to express to a birth mother or surrogate mother besides gratitude, gratitude, and more gratitude! In addition, the whole process has strengthened the bond between Dr. Claire and her husband. More details at: https://adoptionnow.com/podcast/destined-for-motherhood-a-story-of-adoption-and-surrogacy ---- Follow us on Twitter @Adoption_now Like the show on Facebook Keep up with our journey on Instagram @adoptionnow ADOPTION NOW is produced and distributed by Simpler Media

7 Mars 201942min

Season Five of ADOPTION NOW!

28 Feb 20194min

Brandi Miller shares her story of becoming a birth mother at 16 years old. She talks about how she chose her adoptive parents and how she overcame shame after placement. Brandi also shares her advice on transgender in adoption. Her daughter, now called Micah, has opened that conversation up and Brandi shares how she responded.

24 Jan 201941min

Reggie Rivers played six seasons as a running back for the Denver Broncos. He is now the president of his own business consulting firm and a highly successful corporate motivational speaker. On this episode he shares how he and his wife Stephanie did not want children. It wasn’t until Stephanie’s sister had a son and she began struggling with addiction that led him to consider being a father. Reggie shares how they made the decision to bring the little boy home and how he changed their lives.

17 Jan 201937min

Last week we were joined by an incredible birth mother, Laura, who shared her beautiful story of honesty and open communication in her adoption experience. Today we are joined by the adoptive parents, Jen and Alan, as well as my husband Noah, to get their side of the story on this seemingly perfect adoption. After finding each other through love at first sight, Jen and Alan tried to get pregnant through IVF before deciding adoption was right for them. Once Laura selected them as her adoptive parents, they worked together to create a healthy and open relationship. Today Jen and Alan are telling us all about the research that went into finding their birth mother, what their first ‘perfect date’ was really like with Laura and Jerome, and the details that came together to make this story “meant to be.” Every adoption story is different, and Jen and Alan are proof of that. Their journey is filled with hope, positivity and lots of love.

27 Dec 201837min

Sometimes a story comes along that makes you question the things you thought you knew about adoption, and today is one of those stories. Laura is a birth mother from California who feels passionately about sharing her incredibly positive adoption experience. After placing her child in an open adoption over three years ago, Laura is still beaming with joy about her adoption process and the adoptive family. She believes that not all birth mothers go through the same grief process, and she is sharing her story about her life-changing experience in the hopes that it will empower and inspire other women. She shares how she and the birth father immediately connected with the adoptive parents, and why she decided to spend the first three days together with them and the baby after placement. Laura feels she was meant to have a different experience in order to show people that there are other ways to process loss. This episode offers a very inspiring and fresh perspective that proves everyone has their own story in the adoption journey.

20 Dec 201829min