Joey Diaz's Horny Hospital Visit | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

A truly special episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer where they try do as many vices in the span of a little over an hour. Bert and Tom celebrate their power by lighting cigars and Bert tries to compare himself to Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. They try to come up with the premise to a movie that The Rock would do with them... would you watch it? Bert shows some fun posts from Nikki Glazer and Whitney Cummings. Tom helps Bert realize he should open a "recovery center," and they discuss the next big 2 Bears, 1 Cave event... 2 Bears Racing. Tom reminds Bert how impressed he is with his tennis serve, the bears share their favorite laughs with each other, and they decide which email they'd prefer to be eaten by. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Jan 20221h 25min

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back in Austin and we try to figure out if Bert is the most self absorbed person Tom knows. Is he a lot? Bert tries to convince Enny to let him smoke cigars in his house and Bert reveals how he incentivized his tour bus to motivate his weight loss. He describes his day working out with Joe Rogan at the Onnit gym, and the bears make Nadav compare and contrast their stand up shows. Bert admits he likes talking more than he likes listening and Tom tells him about shooting with Unk Shine. The bears discuss a great parody of the JRE they watched, as well as the Josh Robert Thompson impression of Morgan Freeman, which makes Bert attempt a couple impressions for Tom, and Bert fantasizes about his retirement which turns into one of the hardest laughs had on the show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Jan 20221h 17min

SPONSORS: - Go to https:/GetSuperLeaf.com/BEARS and get 20% off with promo code BEARS. - Go to https:/Babbel.com and use promo code BEARS to get an additional 3 months for FREE when you purchase a 3-month Babbel subscription.   It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer, this time out of Bert studio in Los Angeles! Bert shares he's been on a fasting mimicking cleanse diet and shares his incentivized weight loss routine on tour. They go on to discuss at the physique of jacked celebrities like Michael B. Jordan, Chris Pratt, Kumail Nanjiani and how Jason Momoa does it the best way. Bert is excited for his work out with Joe Rogan at the Onnit gym and Tom reminisces about cigarettes. Tom shows Bert the Hard 75 work out and eating plan and Bert pitches 2 Bears Racing and he can't wait to be a pit crew boss. Tome shares his discovery of baby wipes and a mishap he had on the road. The bears check in on Bert's accountabili-buddy, Nadav, and they also really like where Jonah Hill is at in his life. The episode ends on quite a cliff hanger. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Dec 20211h 21min

SPONSORS: - Go to https://dealdash.com and when you register, enter the promo code BEARS for a special offer! - Go to https://DietSmoke.com and use the promo code “BEARS” for 20% off your order. - Go to https://Squarespace.com for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code BEARS to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain - Get 10% off your first month of online therapy at https://BetterHelp.com/BEARS. - Go to https://WHOOP.com and use code “CAVE” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. -Binge the entire first season of MacGruber now, only on Peacock. Go to https://PeacockTV.com to sign up. - Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now, use promo code BEARS, bet JUST FIVE DOLLARS on any NBA team, and win ONE HUNDRED FIFTY DOLLARS IN FREE BETS if they’re victorious.   Time to hang out in the cave with the 2 bears: Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer! Bert starts this episode with deciding he's going to drink today, and figured it's not fair only uppity non-woke women get to be called Karen... he wants to figure out names for the rest of the spectrum of dumb people. Are you a Liam? We watch the classic viral video of the girl getting hit in the head with a shovel and see what the ladies are up to today. Bert shares a story of when he got a bad concussion in college and we try to figure out how much it's affected him in the present. The bears take a look at some personalized content from ASMR Maddy and go down a whole ASMR rabbit hole. We hear about Bert's experience watching UFC 268 at Madison Square Garden with Justin Gaethje and Rose Namajunas, which leads us to look into the best looking fighters and watch the Joe Schilling altercation at the bar. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Dec 20211h 28min

2 Bears, 1 Cave has partnered with the one and only Mache to bring to you a custom 2 Bears, 1 Cave shoe! Preorders for this one of a kind shoe begin this Friday, 12/17 at 11am EST and will only be open for 72 hours when the window closes Monday, 12/20 at 11am EST. So head on over to https://machecustoms.com this weekend to preorder a custom 2 Bears, 1 Cave shoe designed by Mache! SPONSORS: - Go to https://SkylightFrame.com and enter code BEARS to get $10 off your purchase. - Go to https://WHOOP.com and use code “CAVE” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. - Get 20% Off + Free Shipping at https://Manscaped.com/BEARS - To start comparing quotes and simplify insurance-buying, check out Policygenius: https://policygenius.com/2BEARS1CAVE. Thanks to Policygenius for sponsoring this video! - Get three extra months free at https://ExpressVPN.com/CAVE. - Go to https://HelloFresh.com/CAVE14 and use code CAVE14 for up to 14 free meals AND 3 free gifts! - Be the big winner this holiday season with a gift from MVMT. Go to https://MVMT.COM/CAVE! Join the MOVEMENT! -Binge the entire first season of MacGruber December 16th, only on Peacock. Go to https://PeacockTV.com to sign up. It's another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer and we start with the bears talking about the steak they ate the night before and how meat makes Bert need to fart. The bears trade stories about their love lives with their wives, we get an update on the accountabilibuddies, the uniform changes at Hooters and how fast eats their buffalo shrimp. Bert makes Nadav find the coffee table book he saw of naked men from the Navy, Bert has a bone to pick with Starbucks' ice cubes, and we go deep into kinks with Enny. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Dec 20211h 19min

Become a paid channel member of YMH to experience an AD-FREE version of the show here : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYIgiXwJck_Pb5Nj-wIrsqg/join SPONSORS: - Go to https://LIQUIDIV.COM and use code BEARS at checkout and get 25% off ANYTHING you order. -- Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off your mattress! - Head on over to https://Stance.com and enjoy the color and comfort of a life less ordinary… with Stance. - Go to https://HELLOTUSHY.com/BEARS to get TEN PERCENT OFF PLUS FREE SHIPPING. - Go to https://BUYRAYCON.com/bears and use code HOLIDAY today to get 15% off your entire Raycon order! - Go to https://vuori.com/BEARS and receive 20% off your first purchase, free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75, and free returns. - Go to https://WHOOP.com and enter code CAVE at checkout to save 15%. - Visit https://betterhelp.com/BEARS and get 10% off your first month of online therapy. - Go to https://TommyJohn.com/BEARS to get TWENTY PERCENT OFF your FIRST ORDER right now! - Go to https://GetSuperLeaf.com/BEARS and get 20% off with promo code BEARS.  It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer out of G-Bay studios! The bears start off with talking about what prison would be like and trade some Al Capone stories from Alcatraz. Bert then reveals how he'd make love with his night terrors when he was younger and Tom shows Bert some neat things on his Instagram. Bert continues to struggle with his recent coming out as fat and is debating if shaving his entire body would be a good motivation for weight loss. Bert runs a couple of scenarios involving having sex with people that are not their wives. Tom tells Bert about a recent show on a Saturday late show in Charlottesville that devolved into pandemonium and hanging out with Chris Long. Bert tries to figure out the guest list to his secret celebrity football dinner then tries to guess the colors of their eyes. They talk about the comedians they bring on the road and start discussing possible gimmicks that would work well for comics. Then, they circle back to the fat shaming argument and who is the actual delusional one and they face time with Pat McAfee. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Dec 20211h 27min

SPONSORS: - Head on over to https://Stance.com and pick out whatever styles you like. Enjoy the color and comfort of a life less ordinary… with Stance. - Go to https://ShipStation.com and use the code CAVE to get a 60 day free trial - To start comparing quotes and simplify insurance-buying, check out Policygenius: https://policygenius.com/2BEARS1CAVE. Thanks to Policygenius for sponsoring this video! - Get 15% off your first order, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee, when you go to https://MeUndies.com/BEARS - Go to https://Amazon.com/CAVE to try Amazon Music Unlimited FREE for THREE months! - Go to https://SkylightFrame.com and enter code BEARS to get $10 off your purchase. It's time for 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer straight out of G-Bay studios! It was Bert's birthday so we reveal how Tom one-upped the last birthday gift given in the exchange: a chartered private jet. Bert starts getting anxiety about how he'll be able to top this gift and instead tries to pivot. The bears exchange some stories about jet ski accidents, a guy laughed at Bert when he said he felt skinny, and Bert has a great idea for experiencing history! They talk about how weird Hollywood casting decisions can get like with animated shows like Big Mouth, The Simpsons, Family Guy. Also, Bert decides that he's kept in a secret for long enough and he's tired of hiding it from the world. Bert Kreischer, the comedian you know and love, is coming out as fat and reveals hey burps and farts a hundred times a day and is constantly throwing up in his mouth. Is this normal? The bears then each describe their perfect day of eating while Bert begins to drool all over the table. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Nov 20211h 21min

CHICAGO! Come see Tom live on his birthday, April 16! Presale starts this Wednesday at 10am local time. Get tickets at https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/04005AE7FAE32A7B and use code EVERYWHERE SPONSORS: - Go to https://EstablishedTitles.com/BEARS to become a Lord today and get 10% off. - Go to https://3Chi.com and use code BEARS at checkout to receive 5% off your order - Go to https://WHOOP.com and use code “CAVE” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. - Go to https://Vuori.com/bears to get 20% off your first purchase and enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 - Go to https://HelloTushy.com/BEARS to get 10% off your order and FREE shipping. - Be the big winner this holiday season with a gift from MVMT. Go to https://MVMT.COM/CAVE! Join the MOVEMENT! - Get 50% off your new home security system by visiting https://SimpliSafe.com/bears. - Go to https://SkylightFrame.com and enter code BEARS to get $10 off your purchase. - Get 20% Off + Free Shipping at https://Manscaped.com/BEARS 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer is back for another episode out of G-bay studios! Tom starts with how he grew up thinking he wanted to become a doctor, but realized he needed a higher GPA than the second lowest. The bears get into the trade off between working hard and enjoying nice things and if it's ultimately worth it. Bert then describes the BEST pep talk he ever got before going to an audition, which leads the bears to trade nightmare Hollywood stories. Bert then actively drinks water for a bit trying to reach a gallon for the day and how drinking out of water bottles makes his stomach hurt. Then the bears trade gambling stories about blackjack roulette, and craps, which then leads the bears to share confrontation stories with security. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Nov 20211h 27min