Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Tom Shows Harland Williams His Chocolate Starfish | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Check out the newest podcast from YMH Studios "Not A Damn Chance"! Hosted by pro skateboarder Neen Williams and Michelin-starred chef Phillip Frankland Lee SPONSORS: - Get started at https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off plus FREE shipping on your first box. - Make friends and grab some merch at https://www.drinkporosos.com/ This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert is on a retreat in Istanbul so Tom Segura is joined by the brilliantly bizarre Harland Williams for an unhinged episode packed with supposedly true stories, bootyholes, and too many farts. Harland kicks things off by reminiscing about fingering calamari and the first time someone touched his arse—with a thermometer. Tom shares the traumatic moment he had to show a friend his infamously hairy sphincter... and yes, he ends up showing Harland too. Surprisingly, the conversation spirals into absurd territory with erotic drawings, smut searches, fart-catching attempts, a Dominican dick flash, and a deep dive into Enny’s alleged fondness for buttholes. Harland doesn’t disappoint either—he reacts to fart videos, tells a story about dating Madonna, and looks forward to tanning with Tom. The two also talk about creativity, recreational drugs, Harland's distrust of nicotine pouches, the anthems of both Canada and Texas, plus playing doctor, and horseshoes with neck pillows. Oh, and Harland names his favorite dictator. Stick around to find out if Harland ends up eating Tom. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 290 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:55 - Arses & Calamari Rings 00:14:34 - So Much Hair 00:26:10 - What's Going On With Canada? 00:31:24 - Measurements, Buzzes, & Vices 00:41:37 - Favorite Dictator 00:51:49 - Dating Madonna 00:55:46 - Clip: Baddie Farts 00:56:49 - Play Back The Tape 00:58:13 - Clip: Fart In One 00:59:29 - Tanning & Tour Dates 01:05:45 - Gas, Gashes, & Gruesome Videos 01:11:48 - Harland Wants To Eat Tom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Ep. 124 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 124 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

It’s another episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave! Bert starts the episode off comparing himself to minor league and Olympian athletes. What a surprise! Do you think Bert could challenge Caeleb Dressel at swimming? Israel Adesanya at fighting? What if they were both drunk? Tom tries talking about the new Chevrolet Corvette, 2 Bears Racing, and his genuine love for other people’s fear, but Bert moves onto his favorite politician, Saparmurat Niyazov, talks about commissioning a statue of himself, and/or Tom Segura in pure bronze, and how excited he is for 2 Bears Racing!   https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/bertyboytour https://store.ymhstudios.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Mars 20221h 23min

Ep. 123 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 123 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss what they think Bert's daughter's college experience will be like due to Bert's "party guy" persona, their tastes in fashion and art, and Bert's process of perfecting his stand-up routine. Bert shares a joke he wrote about Joe Rogan and Neil Young, and The Bears discuss their nicknames and brainstorm which rappers have the best nicknames. They wrap up by looking at videos of paragliding and ziplining accidents. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Mars 20221h 26min

Ep. 122 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 122 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert Kreischer opens with what it's like visiting Austin, and how much he loves playing games with Tom Segura's kids. Also, Tom's kids give Bert a new nick name: Fat Sticks. The bears talk about standup comedy all over the world, they try to figure out the perfect outfit for Bert's next special, and we go down the female golfer rabbit hole. We check out other cool hobbies women can get into, watch some cool debt/stuck related "videos," and check out what kind of videos the rest of America is into.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

28 Feb 20221h 22min

Ep. 121 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 121 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

It's another week of 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer out of the new Austin set and we get into hypotheticals about hooking up with relatives! We get an update on the weight loss challenge with Nadav, talk about Ben Askren and the Jake Paul fight, and Bert tries to figure out his price for getting knocked out by a professional fighter. How much should Bert get to be in a boxing ring with Israel "Stylebender" Adesanya? The bears discuss the recent passing of Louis Anderson, Bob Saget, and Norm McDonald. Tom shares a story about him and Ryan Sickler smoking out Norm and seeing him go on stage right after. Bert then shares a story of a Paralympian swimmer Chloe Toscano who recently removed her arm and the bears gauge the room on some playful choking in the bedroom. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 Feb 20221h 25min

Ep. 120 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & David Spade

Ep. 120 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & David Spade

It's another week of 2 Bears 1 Cave, and we have guest bear David Spade joining Tom Segura! Spade has all sorts of questions as he just started an SNL themed podcast co-hosted by Dana Carvey called "Fly On The Wall." David tells Tom about getting on Saturday Night Live with Rob Schneider and what it was like to be a writer/performer on the cast back then. They talk about Tommy Boy, Chris Farley, Kevin Nealon, Gap Girls, and a horror story involving Eddie Murphy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Feb 20221h 15min

Ep. 119 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 119 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are finally recording out of the new set and Bert almost immediately ruins it. Bert fantasizes which celebrities he'd date, the bears discuss the Buffalo Bill's insane game and the incredible 2 Bears cleats that Gabe Davis wore during a game. The bears try doing some inspirational social media posts, we get an update on #TheMachine movie, Bert shares his Covid episode and a screen grab from his nest cam after he had sex. The bears talk hot sauces, Nadav's weight loss, and how Bert pronounces Whataburger wrong. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Feb 20221h 28min

Ep. 118 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 118 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

It's another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer and Bert thinks he's finally going to move to Austin! Will Enny and Nadav move in with him? Then, the bears decide to completely change and rebuild Nadav. Is he up for the challenge? Tom shares how he got into doing standup comedy and Bert reveals he doesn't listen when people answer his questions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

31 Jan 20221h 17min

Ep. 117 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Ari Shaffir

Ep. 117 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Ari Shaffir

It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and with special guest bear, Ari Shaffir! We analyze some of Carrot Top's wild Instagram posts and ask Ari how he got banned from social media. They talk about how important change is to your life and some fans who are surprised when comedians don't care about their feelings. Ari tells us about his time at J school, Tom shows Ari a heavy clip from YMH Live and an OG clip known as "Man VS Jar." Ari tells Tom about traveling to the Dominican Republic, Tom updates Ari on Bert's health, and they discuss how crazy weed from overseas is. Then they finish on a lighter note and react to a WILD cartel video. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Available in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/MI/NH/NJ/NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Min $5 deposit. Min. $5 wager. Winnings paid out in the form of seven (7) $40 free bets. New customers only. Eligibility restrictions apply. See draftkings.com/sportsbook for full terms and conditions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Jan 20221h 28min

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