How To Take Care of Your Body Without Losing Your Mind

New Year’s Series Episode 3. We talk with Karamo about how to practice self-love--and why doing so is the opposite of selfish.   Karamo was the first out gay Black man on reality TV when he appeared on MTV’s The Real World: Philadelphia in 2004. But then he left TV and found out he was a father. He got custody of his son, adopted his son’s half-brother, and worked for a decade as a social worker before returning to the media world. He’s now the Culture expert on Netflix’s blockbuster reboot of Queer Eye. He also hosts his own podcast and is the author of a memoir as well as a children’s book, which he co-wrote with his son.   In today’s conversation, we talk about why, for Karamo, learning to love himself started with learning to love his first name; how he overcame negative messages inside his abusive childhood home; why men struggle so much with the concept of self-love; and the areas in his own life where he struggles the most to practice what he preaches.    How to join the New Year’s Challenge: Join the New Year's Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account.   If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21   Where to find Karamo Brown online:  Website: http://karamobook.com   Social Media: ·        Twitter: https://twitter.com/Karamo ·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Personal-Blog/Karamo-Brown-Page-227323621184576/ ·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karamo ·        YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/Karamobrown ·        Podcast: https://luminary.link/PPiQNuwwicb Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/karamo-311

1 Jan 202142min

New Year’s Series Episode 2. We talk with Chris Germer about the scientifically-proven benefits of self-compassion; how to practice self-compassion in your life; the disutility of shame; and the connection between self-compassion and compassion for others. Oh, and we also take some listener voicemails.   Chris Germer is a clinical psychologist and lecturer on psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He also co-developed a highly impactful program called Mindful Self-Compassion, which has been taught to over 100,000 people across the world.   How to join the New Year’s Challenge: Join the New Year's Challenge by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app : https://10percenthappier.app.link/install. You should be prompted to join the Challenge after registering your account.   If you've already downloaded the app, just open it up or visit this link to join: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21   Where to find Chris Germer online:  Website: https://chrisgermer.com   Social Media: ·        Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CenterForMSC ·        Chris’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christophergermerphd/ ·        Center for Mindful Self Compassion Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/centerformindfulselfcompassion/ ·        YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCObLXaQeAfuhSLPf3IW5Adw Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/chris-germer-310

30 Dec 20201h 13min

New Year’s Series Episode 1. We talk with expert meditation teachers Susan Piver and Jeff Warren about a radical approach to the new year: self-compassion. Susan and Jeff help introduce the New Year’s Meditation Challenge launching in the Ten Percent Happier app. And we respond to listener voicemail questions about how to operationalize self-love in our everyday lives. That’s right, we’re going all-in on self-love: leaning into the cheese, diving into the fondue, surfing the brie (a phrase that you’ll hear one of our guests today coin in real time). But I want to be clear: this is not sap for the sake of sap -- this is sap for the sake of science, and sanity.  As tens of millions of us go about the annual, humiliating ritual of making and then abandoning New Year’s resolutions, there is ample evidence that you are more likely to achieve your long-term goals if you pursue those goals not out of self-loathing or shame (which is the not-so-subtle subtext of the whole ‘New Year, New You’ slogan) but instead with self-love -- or self-compassion. So we have a whole bonanza of programming for you. First, our New Year’s Series starts today here on the podcast. Over the next few weeks, we’ve got a blockbuster lineup, including scientists, meditation teachers, and Karamo, star of the hit Netflix show Queer Eye and a vocal proponent of self-love.    How to join the New Year’s Challenge: ·        Download the Ten Percent Happier app directly in the Apple App Store (for iPhone/iPad): http://apple.co/1V7sqo9 or the Google Play store (for Android phones): https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.changecollective.tenpercenthappier  ·        If you are new to Ten Percent Happier, tap Get Started to register an account. (If you already have an account you’ll need to tap Sign In at the bottom of the screen.) ·        You should be prompted to Join the Challenge after registering your account. Just tap on the Join Challenge button and follow the prompts.  ·        If you don’t join the Challenge during registration, within the app tap the Join Challenge banner at the bottom of the screen and follow the prompts.  ·        If you don’t see Join Challenge in the app you can also join on a mobile device by tapping this link: https://10percenthappier.app.link/NewYearsChallenge21 Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/newyear-challenge-kickoff-309

28 Dec 20201h 7min

I, like many people, have the potential to get pretty dysregulated around food and body image. A lot of men don’t talk about this stuff, but there is plenty of evidence that this is a unisex issue. Especially during the holidays, when we’re surrounded by treats and stress-eating because we can’t see our family, or we can -- and they’re making us crazy.  This interview you’re about to hear changed my life. That’s an overused phrase, but in this case, it happens to be true. I came into this conversation with a rather hostile attitude toward my own body, filled with unrealistic expectations and unsustainable restrictions. Over the course of this encounter, you will hear my mind start to change. And ever since this interview was recorded, about a year ago, I have been working one-on-one with my guest, Evelyn Tribole, on these issues.  Evelyn is the co-creator of something called “Intuitive Eating,” which you can think of as kind of the anti-diet. Diets, she argues, do not work. Worse, they lead us to mistrust our bodies, so we misread their signals and don’t even know when we’re hungry or when we’re full. Her approach is backed by science, and powered by mindfulness.  Where to find Evelyn Tribole online:  Website: https://www.evelyntribole.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/etribole Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/evelyn.tribole Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evelyntribole/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcfkldY3O0ly3XRh9B8Wt9A Excited about our upcoming New Year's Challenge? Download the Ten Percent Happier app today to get ready: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/evelyn-tribole-repost

23 Dec 20201h 25min

Vulnerability is not something I ever personally considered to be a valuable skill to cultivate. That is, until I met today’s guest, Brené Brown-- who helped me understand that being vulnerable is not about weakness, nor is it about sloppy oversharing. Instead, she argues, vulnerability is about honesty, realness, risk, and courage. All qualities that are very relevant for these turbulent times in which we are living.  Brené is a speaker, author, podcaster, professor, and researcher who has spent 2 decades studying vulnerability and courage, along with shame and empathy. She’s written 5 number 1 New York Times best sellers. She’s had a special on Netflix. And she’s spoken to a lot of high-achieving people about the importance of vulnerability, from executive suites to the CIA to the Seattle Seahawks.  We recorded this conversation in 2019, during a simpler time… but her insights are evergreen. Where to find Brené Brown online:  Website: https://brenebrown.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/BreneBrown Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brenebrown Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brenebrown Excited about our upcoming New Year's Challenge? Download the Ten Percent Happier app today to get ready: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install  Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/brene-brown-repost

21 Dec 20201h 5min

I don’t know about you, but there have been many times during this wrenching year where I have made my pain even worse by adding on layers and layers of self-criticism. There’s a notion that is deeply ingrained in our culture that the only way to succeed -- or even to survive -- is to liberally apply an internal cattle prod. But there is research that strongly suggests that this approach simply leads to extra anxiety, and that there is a more successful approach, called self-compassion. My guest today has been at the very forefront of this research. Kristin Neff has empirically demonstrated the value of self-compassion; she has shown that it doesn’t have to lead to passivity, self-absorption, or cheesiness; and, as you will hear, she has practiced what she preaches in extremely difficult circumstances in her own life. All of this makes her, in my opinion, a figure of incalculable importance. We recorded this interview back in 2019, and it contributed to a major turning point in my meditation practice and in my life. We are reposting it now because as we head into the new year, a time when many of us embark on self-improvement projects based in self-loathing, we could all use a little kryptonite for the inner critic.  Where to find Kristin Neff online:  Website: https://self-compassion.org Twitter: https://twitter.com/self_compassion  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/selfcompassion  At this point in the holiday season, mail delivery and shipping timelines are not on your side. For a quick and meaningful gift, send a gift subscription to the Ten Percent Happier app to your friends and family! We're offering gift subscriptions at a discount through the end of this month. No shipping required - your gift will be delivered directly to your email inbox. Get a gift subscription by visiting www.tenpercent.com/gift. That’s tenpercent (one word, all spelled out) dot com slash gift. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kristin-neff

16 Dec 20201h 22min

The notion of transmuting the difficult stuff in your life into something positive has become a cliche. Turning lemon into lemonades, making your mess your message, etcetera. But, as I have said many times on this show, there is a reason cliches become cliches: they’re true. And it is extraordinarily helpful, in my experience, when someone can re-language and revivify an ancient truth that has been ground into platitude through rote repetition. My guest today does just that. Fleet Maull spent many years in prison on serious drug-related charges. He used that time to fuel a deep meditation practice and public service career. He’s practiced for nearly five decades in the Zen, Tibetan, and Vipassana Insight traditions. He’s also written a book called Radical Responsibility. In this episode, we talk about how to, in his words, turn the gnarly stuff in your life into a gift (or, as an old Buddhist expression has it, how to use your struggles as “manure for enlightenment”). On that note, midway through the interview, you’ll hear Fleet reveal, in real time, and to my surprise, that he is actually in the throes of acute anguish at this very moment-- and he will talk about how this experience is fueling his practice. We also talk about: what he learned in prison about whether human nature is fundamentally good; the value of adding breathing exercises onto your meditation practice; what he means by “neurosomatic mindfulness.” Where to find Fleet Maull online:  Website: www.fleetmaull.com Social Media: • Twitter: https://twitter.com/fleetmaull • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fleetmaull/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fleetmaull/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL_AqFCn3m6lvQTJPIx_uLg Books Mentioned: • Radical Responsibility: How to Move Beyond Blame, Fearlessly Live Your Highest Purpose, and Become an Unstoppable Force for Good by Fleet Maull: www.radicalresponsibilitybook.com • Mindfulness and Psychotherapy edited by Christopher K. Germer, Ronald D. Siegel, Paul R. Fulton: https://www.indiebound.org/book/9781593851392 People are sending more virtual gifts this holiday season to avoid putting themselves (and essential delivery workers) at risk. If you're one of them, consider helping your loved ones care for their minds by giving them a subscription to the Ten Percent Happier app. We're offering gift subscriptions at a discount through the end of this month. No shipping required - your gift will be delivered directly to your email inbox. Get a gift subscription by visiting www.tenpercent.com/gift. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/fleet-maull-308

14 Dec 20201h 8min

How much would your relationships improve if you could up your emotional intelligence game? That phrase -- emotional intelligence -- entered the lexicon 25 years ago, when my friend Daniel Goleman wrote a book by the same name. And so on this episode, to mark the 25th anniversary edition of Emotional Intelligence, we’re having Danny on the show. By way of background, he is a Harvard-trained psychologist who, along with other contemplative luminaries such as Joseph Goldstein, Sharon Salzberg, Jon Kabat-Zinn, and others, went to Asia and discovered meditation in the 1960s, and then made it a huge part of their lives and careers. In this conversation, we talk about: the four components of emotional intelligence, how to develop them, and why these skills matter so much during the middle of a pandemic. We also discuss: empathy and relationship management in the age of zoom; the “marshmallow test” and impulse control; a phenomenon he calls “amygdala hijacks”; and why so many Jewish kids in the sixties and seventies got turned on to Buddhism.   Where to find Daniel Goleman online:  Website: http://www.danielgoleman.info Twitter: https://twitter.com/DanielGolemanEI Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/danielgoleman Books Mentioned: Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain, and Body by Richie Davidson https://www.richardjdavidson.com/altered-traits Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl https://bookshop.org/books/man-s-search-for-meaning-9780807014271/9780807014271 A Force for Good: The Dalai Lama's Vision for Our World by Daniel Goleman https://bookshop.org/books/a-force-for-good-the-dalai-lama-s-vision-for-our-world/9780553394894 How much could your relationships improve if your loved ones practiced mindfulness together? For a limited time, if you buy yourself a subscription to Ten Percent Happier, we'll send you a free gift subscription to share with whomever you'd like. Note that nothing is permanent, and this offer is no exception: get it before it ends by going to www.tenpercent.com/december.  Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/daniel-goleman-307

9 Dec 202058min