Chris Bosh: Making Your Inner Voice Your Ally

Chris Bosh: Making Your Inner Voice Your Ally

One of the more surprising lessons I've learned as an ambitious person is that perhaps the best recipe for success is... keeping your ego in check. For a long time, I subconsciously believed that you needed to be unremittingly selfish to "make it." But after life delivered me repeated beat-downs, I finally got the message: sometimes what's best for me is to focus on greater good -- on the team. It's enlightened self-interest. (For the record, I am not perfect at this.) My guest today has also learned this lesson the hard way. Chris Bosh is an 11-time NBA All-Star, an Olympic gold medalist, and he was just recently inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame. He says his proudest moments as a player came from defeating his own ego, and you'll hear him explain how he learned to do this. You'll also hear him talk about something that anyone who's ever been born needs to learn how to do (given that we live in a universe where impermanence is a nonnegotiable fact): letting go. In 2016, Chris nearly died from a blood clotting illness that sidelined him. He spent the next couple of years trying to make his way back to the NBA before retiring in 2019. He's just written a new book, in which he tells his story and compiles some hard-won wisdom. It's called Letters to a Young Athlete. But you don't have to be an athlete to benefit; it's really for anyone who's interested in excellence. In this conversation, Chris and I talk about the difficult process of letting go of something you love; the in's and out's of his journey with his own ego, both during and after his playing career; how to set aside the inner chatter in your mind in order to be in the present moment; and how to play every game–whatever that might mean to you–like it's your last. Before we dive in, I also want to let you know about a special series of episodes we'll be launching next week here on the podcast. It's called "Taming Anxiety." It will feature interviews with top anxiety researchers and a dynamite meditation teacher. And, as is our wont here in TPH-land, we'll be launching a free companion meditation challenge on the Ten Percent Happier app to help you put everything you learn in the podcast series into practice in your daily life -- to integrate it into your neurons, as I like to say. Get ready to join the free challenge on June 21 by downloading the Ten Percent Happier app today: https://10percenthappier.app.link/install Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/chris-bosh-353

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Why You Can't Pay Attention - And How to Think Deeply Again | Johann Hari

Why You Can't Pay Attention - And How to Think Deeply Again | Johann Hari

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- What is it about modern life that is completely disrupting our ability to focus, and how much of it is our fault? Turns out, not a lot. A number of factors from technology to our sleep habits, and even air pollution, play a role in what causes us to have about the same attention regulation skills as a kitten. In this first episode of our two-part series on focus, guest Johann Hari breaks down why our ability to pay attention is collapsing, and what we can do about it. Johann Hari is the author of Stolen Focus: Why You Can't Pay Attention – and How to Think Deeply Again. His first book, Chasing the Scream: the First and Last Days of the War on Drugs was adapted into the Oscar nominated film The United States Vs Billie Holiday as well as a documentary series. Johann is also the author of Lost Connections: Uncovering The Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions which was featured in a previous episode. His TED Talks have been viewed more than 80 million times. In this episode we talk about: Johann's notion that there are twelve factors draining our focus His argument for the importance of both collective and individual action to reclaim our attention What he learned from a self-imposed three-month internet-free experiment How this impacts our children, and what we might do about it Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/johann-hari-439

11 Apr 20221h 19min

A New Way To Think About Your Time | Ashley Whillans (2021)

A New Way To Think About Your Time | Ashley Whillans (2021)

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- What if one of the keys to happiness is how intentional you are with your time? Ashley Whillans is an Assistant Professor at Harvard Business School and author of the book Time Smart. Her groundbreaking research has led her to radically reevaluate how she spends her own time. Her goal is to help you move from time poverty to time affluence. In this conversation, we talk about: How to do a time audit Funding time, finding time, and reframing time The surprising extent to which prioritizing time over money predicts happiness–and what to do if you usually do the opposite How to handle "time confetti" The value of canceling meetings Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ashley-whillans-repost-318

6 Apr 20221h 11min

Unseating the Inner Tyrant | Ajahn Sucitto

Unseating the Inner Tyrant | Ajahn Sucitto

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Often, we are our own worst critic. In this episode, Buddhist monk Ajahn Sucitto explores ways to unseat the inner tyrant and make peace with the nagging voice inside of you that seems to always demand perfection, but never offer praise. Ajahn Sucitto was raised in the United Kingdom and became a monk in 1975 in the lineage of the Thai forest master, Venerable Ajahn Chah. In 1979, he helped establish Cittaviveka, also known as Chithurst Forest Monastery, in West Sussex, England where he still lives. In this episode we talk about: Strategies for addressing our inner critic Why we shouldn't operate at 100% The foolishness of turning our minds into courts of law The Buddhist precepts (or ethical guidelines) And the essential nature of sangha/community Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/ajahn-sucitto-437

4 Apr 202249min

Brené Brown Says You're Doing Feelings Wrong

Brené Brown Says You're Doing Feelings Wrong

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Brené Brown has found that most people are only able to identify three emotions: happy, sad and pissed off. In this episode we explore how better understanding the full spectrum of your emotions, rather than drowning in them, can become an upward spiral. Brené Brown is the author of six #1 New York Times bestsellers. Her latest book is Atlas of the Heart, which is also the name of her new HBO Max series. Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston and a visiting professor in management at the University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business.She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. Her TED talk on the Power of Vulnerability is one of the top five most-viewed TED talks in the world, with over 50 million views. We Talk About: Why she decided to map the 87 key emotions and experiences How she was deeply influenced by the Buddhist concept of the "near enemy" Why she no longer believes it's possible to read emotions in other people Why meaningful connections require boundaries Content Warning: This episode contains explicit language, but a clean version of the episode is available at tenpercent.com and on the Ten Percent Happier app. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/brene-brown-436

1 Apr 202248min

How to Argue Better | Oren Jay Sofer

How to Argue Better | Oren Jay Sofer

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- This episode dives into our archives to revisit the notion of communication as a learnable skill. Often some of the most painful situations you encounter are the result of poor communication. The good news is that communication is a skill that can be learned. Author and meditation teacher Oren Jay Sofer, a leading figure in the field of interpersonal communication, breaks down how communication can be one of the most powerful levers for creating positive change in your life. Oren Jay Sofer is the author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication. He also teaches mindfulness, meditation and nonviolent communication in secular and Buddhist contexts. He graduated from Insight Meditation Center's Spirit Rock Vipassana Teacher Training and is a long-time student of Joseph Goldstein, Michele McDonald, and Ajahn Sucitto. In this conversation, we also talk about: How to become aware of what motivates you to communicate the way you do Strategies for how to have more meaningful conversations What it means to lead with presence How conflict has the possibility to deepen our relationships and make peace Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/oren-jay-sofer-repost-165

30 Mars 202254min

Mind-Blowing Sex | Dr. Lori Brotto

Mind-Blowing Sex | Dr. Lori Brotto

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. -- What role does mindfulness and meditation play when it comes to sex? It may be the key to alleviating sexual distress in your relationships, and in this episode Dr. Lori Brotto talks about scientific evidence that shows how mindfulness can improve your sex life. Dr. Lori Brotto is a clinical psychologist, the director of the University of British Columbia's Sexual Health Laboratory, the Canada Research Chair in Women's Sexual Health; the Executive Director of the Women's Health Research Institute; and the author of Better Sex through Mindfulness. We talk about: Mindfulness practices for individuals and couples who want to improve their sex lives The number one cause of sexual distress and how it manifests in different genders The importance of "interoception" or awareness of our bodily sensations Identifying the most common myths about sex Content Warning: This episode includes conversations about sex. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lori-brotto-435

28 Mars 20221h 5min

How to Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo (2021)

How to Keep Your Relationships On the Rails | Kaira Jewel Lingo (2021)

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. This episode explores a Buddhist tool for resolving conflict and keeping your relationships on the rails. This tool, known as the Beginning Anew practice, was designed by the Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh, who died back in January, and who we are celebrating this week on the show. On Monday's episode, we spoke with a long-time student of Thich Nhat Hanh, Brother Phap Dung. Today's guest is Kaira Jewel Lingo. She was an ordained nun for 15 years in Thich Nhat Hanh's Order of Interbeing. She's now a lay dharma teacher based on Long Island. She graduated from Stanford University with a B.A. and an M.A. in anthropology and social sciences. She's also the author of a recent book called, We Were Made for These Times: Ten Lessons on Moving Through Change, Loss, and Disruption. This interview discusses the Beginning Anew practice and: The four steps of the practice. How even skeptics can see the value in the practice. How it can strengthen relationships and resolve conflict. Kaira Jewel's own experience with the practice as both a teacher and a practitioner. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kaira-jewel-lingo-repost

23 Mars 20221h 3min

How to Suffer Well | Brother Pháp Dung

How to Suffer Well | Brother Pháp Dung

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. -- In January 2022, Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Zen master, peace activist, poet, and author passed away. He was the founder of the International Plum Village Community of Engaged Buddhism. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. called him "an Apostle of peace and nonviolence" when nominating him for the Nobel Peace Prize. Thousands of people came out for his funeral. Brother Pháp Dung is making his second appearance on the show to talk about Thich Nhat Hanh. If you missed it last time he was on, Brother Pháp Dung has an incredible personal story. He was born in Vietnam in 1969 and came to the US at the age of nine. He worked as an architect/designer for four years before becoming a monk. He was very close personally with Thich Nhat Hanh, who he refers to as "Thây," or teacher, and is now a Dharma teacher himself in Thich Nhat Hanh's Plum Village tradition. This episode explores: The life of Thich Nhat Hanh: his path to Buddhism in the 1960's and his exile from Vietnam for opposing the war. The meaning of "wrong view" or wrong perception. What non-separation and inter-being is. Thich Nhat Hanh's view that birth and death are only notions. Grief, and why learning how to suffer will help you suffer less. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/brother-phap-dung-432

21 Mars 20221h 3min

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