160 - Why Defensiveness Is Silently Destroying Your Relationship

160 - Why Defensiveness Is Silently Destroying Your Relationship

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument before you even realise what triggered it? In this powerful episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores how defensiveness quietly damages relationships, and how you can stop it.

Learn why your instinct to defend yourself often masks deeper fears, and how choosing connection over combat can transform your relationship.

Key Takeaways:

-Defensiveness often stems from the fear that we're to blame, even when we don’t want to admit it.

-The key to change is awareness: notice your emotional triggers before reacting.

-Taking even partial responsibility can immediately diffuse tension and build trust.

-Empathy transforms conflict: put yourself in your partner’s shoes to respond with care, not combat.

-Honest, calm communication breaks the cycle of blame and opens the door to healing.

-Change won’t happen overnight, but with intention and practice, defensiveness can be replaced by understanding.

Links referenced in this episode:

angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management

angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycle

angersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System

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Avsnitt(199)

198 - Is Disconnection Destroying Your Relationship?

198 - Is Disconnection Destroying Your Relationship?

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.You love your partner. You work hard. You show up. Yet somehow the distance between you keeps growing. Conversations feel flat...

16 Aug 12min

197 - He Lost His Marriage Before He Asked for Help. Here's What Colin Learned.

197 - He Lost His Marriage Before He Asked for Help. Here's What Colin Learned.

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Colin knew he had an anger problem. His wife knew it too. She asked him more than once to get help, but like many people strug...

9 Aug 12min

196 - How to Stop Having the Same Argument Again and Again

196 - How to Stop Having the Same Argument Again and Again

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.The argument is over, but the damage is still there. The frustration. The guilt. The distance. If you and your partner keep fi...

2 Aug 11min

195 - Why Couples Keep Having the Same Fight

195 - Why Couples Keep Having the Same Fight

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most couples think they're arguing about the dishes, the forgotten phone call or something that happened last weekend. They're...

26 Juli 11min

194 - The One Skill That Stops You Snapping at the People You Love

194 - The One Skill That Stops You Snapping at the People You Love

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Why do so many people lose their temper before they even realise they're angry?The answer isn't a lack of willpower. It's a la...

19 Juli 10min

193 - 10 People Who Thought They'd Never Control Their Anger

193 - 10 People Who Thought They'd Never Control Their Anger

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.If you've ever wondered whether your anger is just who you are, this episode is for you. These stories show what can happen wh...

12 Juli 10min

192 - Is Your Anger Ruining Your Marriage? Five Things You Can Do Right Now

192 - Is Your Anger Ruining Your Marriage? Five Things You Can Do Right Now

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.You love your partner, but lately something feels different. The arguments go in circles. The distance keeps growing. If you'v...

5 Juli 12min

191 - Do You Have an Anger Problem? Here's How to Know for Sure

191 - Do You Have an Anger Problem? Here's How to Know for Sure

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Most people with an anger problem don't think they have one. They've never been violent. They don't see themselves as angry pe...

28 Juni 11min

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