A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

Before we dive in, a warning: this conversation includes descriptions of abuse and violence. As you may know, March 8th, the day we’re dropping this episode, is International Women’s Day. We have a story today about intimate violence, which has long been a problem for women around the world, and has only intensified during the pandemic. My guest is Tanya Selvaratnam, a writer and artist who I’ve known socially for many, many years. I was truly shocked when Tanya’s name surfaced in the media three years ago, in connection with the case of Eric Schneiderman. Eric was the celebrated Attorney General of New York State. He was also a regular on the local meditation scene. I knew Eric and Tanya were dating. What I did not know was that, behind the scenes, Eric was allegedly physically and emotionally abusing Tanya. She has now come out with a book, called Assume Nothing, which goes into searing detail about not only the alleged abuse, but also about how she flipped the script, regained her agency, helped bring her alleged abuser down, and how she has healed subsequently -- in no small part through meditation and therapy. Please note: If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, you can find resources curated by Tanya at the “full shownotes” link below. We’d also like to provide more context about the allegations Tanya shares in this interview: When the allegations of abuse against New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman by Tanya and three other women were first made public in The New Yorker in May 2018, Schneiderman quickly resigned. In a statement at the time, he said, “serious allegations, which I strongly contest, have been made against me.” He also said, “While these allegations are unrelated to my professional conduct or the operations of the office, they will effectively prevent me from leading the office’s work at this critical time. I therefore resign my office.” After a six-month investigation, prosecutors declined to bring criminal charges against Schneiderman, citing legal impediments, including statutes of limitations. But the district attorney assigned to the case by Governor Andrew Cuomo also said that she “believed the women who shared their experiences” with investigators. In response, Schneiderman said, "I recognize that District Attorney Singas' decision not to prosecute does not mean I have done nothing wrong. I accept full responsibility for my conduct in my relationships with my accusers, and for the impact it had on them." I should also note that our team reached out to Eric Schneiderman and that he declined to comment for this episode. Two more items: First, remember to check out “In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson,” a new podcast from ABC News, on Apple Podcasts (https://apple.co/ladybird), Spotify (https://spoti.fi/3ukYgoq), or wherever you’re listening now. Finally, we are looking for a podcast marketer at Ten Percent Happier. If you love this show, marketing, and building relationships, we would love to have you on the team to help us grow Ten Percent Happier and our future shows. Please apply at https://www.tenpercent.com/careers. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tanya-selvaratnam-328

Jaksot(903)

Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, 'The Lost Art of Good Conversation'

Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, 'The Lost Art of Good Conversation'

Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche, the head of the Shambhala Buddhist lineage and Shambhala International, has a new book out called, "The Lost Art of Good Conversation: A Mindful Way to Connect with Others and Enrich Everyday Life" -- poignant for this time of deep divisions in the U.S. and abroad. Born in Bodhagaya, India but bought up in the West, Sakyong Mipham who talks about how conversation is powerful because it begins with recognizing that "there's another person" with you, and he says, as a married father of three, getting frustrated with your kids is just "part of the path."

29 Marras 201735min

Guided Meditation: 'A Reflection On the Important Things' by The Minimalists

Guided Meditation: 'A Reflection On the Important Things' by The Minimalists

With the holidays (and shopping season) upon us, we asked our friends The Minimalists (Ep. #32) for a short meditation to help us focus on what's truly important.

23 Marras 20174min

Bonnie St. John, Former Olympic Skier, Motivational Speaker

Bonnie St. John, Former Olympic Skier, Motivational Speaker

Author, motivational speaker and former pro-skier Bonnie St. John had her right leg amputated at age 5, but that has never slowed her down. The San Diego native made a Paralympics run in 1984 and became the first African-American to win medals in Winter Olympics competition. A Rhodes Scholar, St. John went on to serve on the White House National Economic Council and has written seven books, including one with her husband called "Micro-Resilience," which outlines five frameworks for small "life hacks" to help boost focus and energy.

22 Marras 201744min

Charles Raison & Vladimir Maletic, Tackling Depression with a Mind-Body Approach

Charles Raison & Vladimir Maletic, Tackling Depression with a Mind-Body Approach

Chuck Raison, a psychiatrist and a professor of psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin-Madison School of Medicine and Public Health, and Vlad Maletic, a clinical professor of neuropsychiatry and behavior science at the University of South Carolina School of Medicine, wrote a book together called, "The New Mind-Body Science of Depression," in which they offer research on the mind-body connection, such as looking at the immune system, as a way to tackle depression. But their conversation also delves into the Tibetan Buddhist tradition of tummo, psychedelics and "dark" retreats.

15 Marras 20171h 3min

Andrew Scheffer, The Wharton Monk

Andrew Scheffer, The Wharton Monk

Andrew Scheffer's decision to try meditation after his freshman year of college launched him on a journey where he traveled the world, spent over a year training as a Buddhist monk and worked with the famed Buddhist master, Sayadaw U Pandita, before going on to earn an MBA from the prestigious Wharton School of Business. After working in finance, Scheffer founded and leads "Mindfulness Matters," a corporate training program that applies meditation practices to leadership skills, teaching all sorts of groups from hotel workers to financial managers.

8 Marras 20171h 1min

Shiza Shahid, Malala Fund Co-Founder

Shiza Shahid, Malala Fund Co-Founder

Growing up in a post-9/11 Pakistan, Shiza Shahid had what she called an "activist childhood," where she volunteered in prisons, refugee camps and disaster relief efforts after the 2005 Kashmir earthquake. When the Taliban issued an edict banning girls from going to school, the then-Stanford University sophomore created a secret summer camp in Pakistan for girls, one of which was a 12-year-old Malala Yousafzai. When Malala was shot in 2012 by a Taliban gunman, Shahid co-founded the Malala Fund to promote Malala's story of perseverance and advocacy for girls' education.

1 Marras 201743min

Leslie Booker, Activism and the Dharma

Leslie Booker, Activism and the Dharma

Leslie Booker was working as a wardrobe stylist, dressing models for a living, and was looking for a way to transition out of the industry and her winding path -- she lives a nomadic lifestyle -- eventually brought her to becoming a meditation teacher. A Navy brat who grew up in Virginia and Japan, Booker is also an activist who was involved in the Occupy Wall Street movement and has worked with incarcerated youth, and she shared her thoughts on how the Dharma has changed the way she approaches activism.

25 Loka 201754min

Adam Levin, X Ambassadors Drummer

Adam Levin, X Ambassadors Drummer

As the X Ambassadors' fame grew, drummer Adam Levin noticed he was always waiting for something to go wrong. With more success, came more anxiety, "and that's not a fun way to live," he said. Levin talks about how the rock star life drove him to meditation, as well as how the band works together, what lead singer Sam Harris goes through to care for his voice, and why Levin thinks the band's next album is "the best work" they've "ever done."

18 Loka 201732min

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