A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

Before we dive in, a warning: this conversation includes descriptions of abuse and violence. As you may know, March 8th, the day we’re dropping this episode, is International Women’s Day. We have a story today about intimate violence, which has long been a problem for women around the world, and has only intensified during the pandemic. My guest is Tanya Selvaratnam, a writer and artist who I’ve known socially for many, many years. I was truly shocked when Tanya’s name surfaced in the media three years ago, in connection with the case of Eric Schneiderman. Eric was the celebrated Attorney General of New York State. He was also a regular on the local meditation scene. I knew Eric and Tanya were dating. What I did not know was that, behind the scenes, Eric was allegedly physically and emotionally abusing Tanya. She has now come out with a book, called Assume Nothing, which goes into searing detail about not only the alleged abuse, but also about how she flipped the script, regained her agency, helped bring her alleged abuser down, and how she has healed subsequently -- in no small part through meditation and therapy. Please note: If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, you can find resources curated by Tanya at the “full shownotes” link below. We’d also like to provide more context about the allegations Tanya shares in this interview: When the allegations of abuse against New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman by Tanya and three other women were first made public in The New Yorker in May 2018, Schneiderman quickly resigned. In a statement at the time, he said, “serious allegations, which I strongly contest, have been made against me.” He also said, “While these allegations are unrelated to my professional conduct or the operations of the office, they will effectively prevent me from leading the office’s work at this critical time. I therefore resign my office.” After a six-month investigation, prosecutors declined to bring criminal charges against Schneiderman, citing legal impediments, including statutes of limitations. But the district attorney assigned to the case by Governor Andrew Cuomo also said that she “believed the women who shared their experiences” with investigators. In response, Schneiderman said, "I recognize that District Attorney Singas' decision not to prosecute does not mean I have done nothing wrong. I accept full responsibility for my conduct in my relationships with my accusers, and for the impact it had on them." I should also note that our team reached out to Eric Schneiderman and that he declined to comment for this episode. Two more items: First, remember to check out “In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson,” a new podcast from ABC News, on Apple Podcasts (https://apple.co/ladybird), Spotify (https://spoti.fi/3ukYgoq), or wherever you’re listening now. Finally, we are looking for a podcast marketer at Ten Percent Happier. If you love this show, marketing, and building relationships, we would love to have you on the team to help us grow Ten Percent Happier and our future shows. Please apply at https://www.tenpercent.com/careers. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tanya-selvaratnam-328

Jaksot(903)

Sally Quinn, Walking the Labyrinth

Sally Quinn, Walking the Labyrinth

When author and journalist Sally Quinn needs a moment of peace or clarity, she said, "I walk the labyrinth." A labyrinth walk has long represented a journey or pilgrimage and Quinn uses it for walking meditation -- her late husband, legendary Washington Post executive editor Ben Bradlee, even built one for her at their Maryland estate. Quinn, who launched the Post's 'On Faith' website as a self-proclaimed atheist, talks about her new memoir, "Finding Magic," her notorious D.C. dinner parties and discovering meaning in her life through the years she spent caring for Bradlee as he suffered with dementia, their son, who had heart defect and severe learning disabilities, and her ailing parents.

11 Loka 20171h 2min

Anderson Cooper, CNN Anchor

Anderson Cooper, CNN Anchor

Anderson Cooper, a 23-year news veteran, is the anchor of CNN's "Anderson Cooper 360" and a contributor to CBS News' "60 Minutes." His reporting for a "60 Minutes" piece on mindfulness led him to start his own meditation practice, and he talks at length in our interview about how it has brought him some peace and perspective after dealing with the deaths of his father and brother, being "incredibly introverted" and being a good journalist in the age of Twitter.

4 Loka 201740min

Nicholas Hoult & Danny Strong, 'Rebel in the Rye'

Nicholas Hoult & Danny Strong, 'Rebel in the Rye'

The new biopic about reclusive author J.D. Salinger explores his formative years, from struggling writer, to serving in World War II, to publishing his famous and controversial 1951 novel, "The Catcher in the Rye," to using meditation to deal with PTSD. Actor Nicholas Hoult, who plays Salinger, and Danny Strong, who wrote and directed the film, are both meditators themselves and talk about diving into this tortured author's mind to bring his story to the big screen.

27 Syys 201731min

Tom Bergeron, 'Dancing With the Stars' Host

Tom Bergeron, 'Dancing With the Stars' Host

On a live show, anything can happen, but Tom Bergeron trusts he can handle it. The host of ABC's hit dancing competition show, "Dancing With the Stars," has been meditating for over 35 years and credits his years of TM practice for keeping his cool and "responding appropriately" on the fly in front of judges, contestants and a live studio audience, as well as managing "a really bad temper."

20 Syys 201738min

Gretchen Rubin, 'The Four Tendencies'

Gretchen Rubin, 'The Four Tendencies'

In her new book, "The Four Tendencies," best-selling author and speaker Gretchen Rubin breaks down what she denotes as four different personality profiles -- Upholder, Questioner, Obligor and Rebel. Rubin, who is also the host of the popular podcast, "Happier with Gretchen Rubin," and calls herself an "Upholder," says "The Four Tendencies" help explain how we form or break habits, how we respond to "inner" expectations of ourselves, such as keeping a New Year's resolution, and how we meet "outer" expectations from others, such as making a work deadline.

13 Syys 20171h

Daniel Goleman, Dr. Richard Davidson, 'Altered Traits' (Bonus!)

Daniel Goleman, Dr. Richard Davidson, 'Altered Traits' (Bonus!)

Dan Goleman and Richie Davidson, both titans in their respective fields and best-selling authors, have co-written a new book out now entitled, "Altered Traits: Science Reveals How Meditation Changes Your Mind, Brain and Body." Goleman, a renowned psychologist and science journalist, and Davidson, a prominent neuroscientist and founder of the Center for Healthy Minds, talk about their cutting-edge research in this new book, comparing brain activity of "Olympic level" meditators (such as monks) to meditation beginners and how mindfulness can be restorative for brain health.

8 Syys 20171h 11min

Justin von Bujdoss, Buddhist Chaplain at Rikers Island

Justin von Bujdoss, Buddhist Chaplain at Rikers Island

Justin von Bujdoss was working as a hospice chaplain in New York City, traveling all over the five boroughs and greater metropolitan area to visit patients, when he began volunteering at the city's notorious Rikers Island Jail. Von Bujdoss started out teaching meditation to groups of female inmates, but now he's the first ever staff chaplain for the city's Department of Corrections, providing spiritual and emotional support for officers, and he talks about seeing suffering on both sides of prison life.

6 Syys 201747min

Jaimal Yogis, A Surfer's Quest for Zen

Jaimal Yogis, A Surfer's Quest for Zen

Being out on a surfboard, when it's just you and the ocean, is "a meditative space," Jaimal Yogis said, "There's a certain amount of solitude that's just built into the experience." The longtime surfer and meditation teacher talks about his first memoir, "Saltwater Buddha," a coming-of-age story about running away at 16 and buying a one-way ticket to Maui to surf, joining a monastery and almost becoming a Zen monk and then launching a journalism career, and his second memoir, "All Our Waves Are Water," which is out now.

30 Elo 201744min

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