A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

A Conversation about Abuse, Agency, and Mindfulness | Tanya Selvaratnam

Before we dive in, a warning: this conversation includes descriptions of abuse and violence. As you may know, March 8th, the day we’re dropping this episode, is International Women’s Day. We have a story today about intimate violence, which has long been a problem for women around the world, and has only intensified during the pandemic. My guest is Tanya Selvaratnam, a writer and artist who I’ve known socially for many, many years. I was truly shocked when Tanya’s name surfaced in the media three years ago, in connection with the case of Eric Schneiderman. Eric was the celebrated Attorney General of New York State. He was also a regular on the local meditation scene. I knew Eric and Tanya were dating. What I did not know was that, behind the scenes, Eric was allegedly physically and emotionally abusing Tanya. She has now come out with a book, called Assume Nothing, which goes into searing detail about not only the alleged abuse, but also about how she flipped the script, regained her agency, helped bring her alleged abuser down, and how she has healed subsequently -- in no small part through meditation and therapy. Please note: If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, you can find resources curated by Tanya at the “full shownotes” link below. We’d also like to provide more context about the allegations Tanya shares in this interview: When the allegations of abuse against New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman by Tanya and three other women were first made public in The New Yorker in May 2018, Schneiderman quickly resigned. In a statement at the time, he said, “serious allegations, which I strongly contest, have been made against me.” He also said, “While these allegations are unrelated to my professional conduct or the operations of the office, they will effectively prevent me from leading the office’s work at this critical time. I therefore resign my office.” After a six-month investigation, prosecutors declined to bring criminal charges against Schneiderman, citing legal impediments, including statutes of limitations. But the district attorney assigned to the case by Governor Andrew Cuomo also said that she “believed the women who shared their experiences” with investigators. In response, Schneiderman said, "I recognize that District Attorney Singas' decision not to prosecute does not mean I have done nothing wrong. I accept full responsibility for my conduct in my relationships with my accusers, and for the impact it had on them." I should also note that our team reached out to Eric Schneiderman and that he declined to comment for this episode. Two more items: First, remember to check out “In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson,” a new podcast from ABC News, on Apple Podcasts (https://apple.co/ladybird), Spotify (https://spoti.fi/3ukYgoq), or wherever you’re listening now. Finally, we are looking for a podcast marketer at Ten Percent Happier. If you love this show, marketing, and building relationships, we would love to have you on the team to help us grow Ten Percent Happier and our future shows. Please apply at https://www.tenpercent.com/careers. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/tanya-selvaratnam-328

Jaksot(902)

Clair Brown, Economist, Author of 'Buddhist Economics'

Clair Brown, Economist, Author of 'Buddhist Economics'

Clair Brown, an economics professor at UC-Berkeley and a Tibetan Buddhist, was teaching an introductory course when she asked herself, "How would Buddha teach Econ One?" Brown went on to write the book, "Buddhist Economics: An Enlightened Approach to the Dismal Science," and advocates for a more mindful approach to how we contribute to society, for example, that as consumers, we should work to simplify our lives by focusing on what matters most to us, buying less and reducing our carbon footprint.

5 Huhti 201741min

Jewel, Grammy-Nominated Singer-Songwriter, Actress (Bonus!)

Jewel, Grammy-Nominated Singer-Songwriter, Actress (Bonus!)

Jewel, whose poetic songs about relationships and heartache dominated the airwaves in the '90s, used writing as an outlet to deal with anxiety through a tough childhood and later, homelessness. She began looking for ways to "re-wire" her brain, change her life for the better, and came to Mindfulness. The Grammy-nominated recording artist wrote a memoir, "Never Broken: Songs Are Only Half the Story," and stars in the upcoming Hallmark movie, "Framed for Murder: A Fixer-Upper Mystery," airing Sunday, April 2.

31 Maalis 201731min

Jerry Colonna, 'CEO Whisperer' and Reboot.io Founder

Jerry Colonna, 'CEO Whisperer' and Reboot.io Founder

Jerry Colonna was working as a venture capitalist in New York City during the 9/11 terrorist attacks, and as he walked by wreckage of the World Trade Center towers, he said he felt like his "world was falling apart." Colonna went on to become a practicing Buddhist and in 2014 he founded Reboot.io, a CEO-coaching company where he serves as a certified professional coach for the heads of some of the most dynamic start-ups in the United States.

29 Maalis 201759min

Colin Beavan, the 'No Impact Man'

Colin Beavan, the 'No Impact Man'

In his famous book and documentary film project, "No Impact Man," Colin Beavan, a senior Dharma teacher in the Zen tradition, chronicled a year of his life as he tried to have minimal impact on the environment while living in the bustling metropolis of New York City. He followed it up with a book called, "How to Be Alive: A Guide to the Kind of Happiness that Helps the World," a sort of twist on the self-help genre that he calls "each other help."

22 Maalis 201743min

Profs. Holly Richardson & Matt Jarman, Virginia Military Institute

Profs. Holly Richardson & Matt Jarman, Virginia Military Institute

Virginia Military Institute, a military college in Lexington, Virginia, was another stop on the cross-country meditation tour, where our host Dan Harris and meditation teacher Jeff Warren spoke to Profs. Holly Richardson and Matt Jarman, as well as a few cadets who have taken their classes. Jarman, a psychology professor who leads a "Modern Warriorship" course with meditation, and Richardson, a physical education professor who teaches a mindfulness class, both talk about how they teach cadets in a military environment that meditation can help them be more mentally efficient.

15 Maalis 201743min

Sylvia Moir, Tempe, Arizona, Police Chief

Sylvia Moir, Tempe, Arizona, Police Chief

During their cross-county meditation bus tour in January, our host Dan Harris and meditation teacher Jeff Warren stopped in Tempe, Arizona, to talk with Sylvia Moir, who has been the head of the Tempe Police Department for the past year. Chief Moir says her mindfulness practice has not only helped her during high-stress police calls but also in how she engages with and leads her fellow officers.

8 Maalis 201746min

Shinzen Young, Meditation Teacher

Shinzen Young, Meditation Teacher

Shinzen Young first became fascinated with Asian culture as a Jewish teenager growing up in Los Angeles in the 1950s. Now a renowned meditation teacher, Shinzen is deeply involved in scientific research into what meditation does for the brain and has a new book out called "The Science of Enlightenment."

1 Maalis 20171h 34min

Billy Crudup, 'Jackie,' '20th Century Women' Actor (Oscars Bonus Episode!)

Billy Crudup, 'Jackie,' '20th Century Women' Actor (Oscars Bonus Episode!)

We're offering a special pre-Oscars edition of the podcast this week with actor Billy Crudup. Best known for his role as 70s rock star Russell Hammond in "Almost Famous," Crudup stars in two Oscar-nominated films this year, "Jackie" and "20th Century Women." A Broadway star as well as a movie actor, Crudup said he began practicing mindfulness as a way to help "triage" anxiety and panic attacks he experienced, including at three separate times while performing on stage.

24 Helmi 201755min

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