He Blew It Side C
2 Gleeps19 Heinä 2023

He Blew It Side C

How can there be a Side C on a tape? Really? That's what you are thinking about right now? This is Colton here, and I just posted the audio that I was only supposed to post when Noah dies. I personally would think that is a little more pressing and concerning. Let me tell you my reasoning. We recorded a few episodes in advance because we were going on a road trip through the beautiful and astounding Great Plains. There the prairie lay, uniform and unvarying, spanning, unbroken, to the ends of the horizon. Staring at it, let me tell you, those flat lines almost made me flat line... Anyway, I worked diligently to make sure everything was done in a timely manner so the audience didn't have to suffer. I had just posted the most recent episode, and not even 3 hours later, Noah died. I'll be honest, it was obvious that the Multiple Sclerosis was going to be the one to kill him, I just didn't expect it to happen like it did. I don't want to beat around the bush, so I will just come out and tell you how exactly my co-host met his end. As we were nearing the end of our trip, many memorable things had happened, but it's all overshadowed by the memory of the last time I saw him. You see, towards the end, we found ourselves in Colorado. We made our way to the top of the Rocky Mountains. (The highest part where tourists are allowed to go by car.) He just wanted to get a slightly better view of the range, so he climbed over the safety guard rail. Noah didn't even go out more than 10 feet (about 3 meters), when he stepped on a loose pile of rocks. Really in most cases it would have been no big deal, but in this one instance...by complete coincidence...his leg muscles stiffened, and he wasn't able to balance himself before falling. He immediately fell back and cracked his skull on the ground. Without hesitation, I went to go help my friend. Forgoing all safety, I jumped over the rail. It wasn't too late. The damage seemed minimal. He must've been in a lot of pain, but he was still alive. After all, people have fallen from much higher and lived, and all he did was trip. I guess my point is that I'm kind of a hero or whatever. Just keep that in mind when I tell you what happened next... When I jumped the rail to help him, I tripped on his loose boot strap, and while trying to keep myself from falling...I accidentally nudged his body with my foot...sending him plummeting down the cliff. It was a really steep cliff.

So I guess the moral of the story is, "don't help people because you are only going to make things worse". Also, I reached out to Noah's twin brother, and he has agreed to host the podcast with me going forward. We talked about it and have decided that in order to avoid some sort of awkward transition period while The Orient gets used to a new host, he is just going to do the podcast in character as his brother. Don't worry, no one knows Noah better than his own twin brother, and he is extremely familiar with the podcast and our style of humor. You probably won't even notice the difference, since Noah told him everything (pretty much up to 6 minutes before the death). Noah would've wanted it this way...probably. But who really cares what Noah would've wanted, it's my podcast now...well, and his brother's I guess.

If you want to send your condolences, you can send them here. It would really mean a lot to both hosts.

2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com

If you think cassette tapes should have 3 sides, express that to me here:

tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

Jaksot(209)

Bag Of Dogs

Bag Of Dogs

This episode is actually the definition of crazy (mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive way), partly because Colton is a sucker for a dog, and partly because nobody knows what happened to the Cheddar family. We will discuss what the world economy revolves around, luchador wrestling for elementary school kids, and Santa's younger brother. Also, Paul Bunyan and Ferdinand Magellan may have more in common than you thought.   Do you think America would be better if the Vespucci family was still in charge? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Have you eaten apricot syrup lately? Send a message here, with your last known location and any known allergies, we want to give you a super secret surprise. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com     Extra reading, incase you didn't get enough homework to do over the weekend. https://theplaidzebra.com/youngest-person-to-circumnavigate-the-world-on-foot/   This might actually be the best compilation of all information that exists involving hotdogs. If you browse this site, you will transcend reality as we know it. https://www.hot-dog.org

17 Syys 20221h

The Final Frontiers

The Final Frontiers

Did you that sesame streams are a naturally occurring event in nature? Also, Cartoon Network is extremely racist. Did you know that Terry Crews used to be a Spice Girl? Also, the Japanese love our podcast.   Have you ever found yourself in any of the 3 final frontiers? Tell us about them. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Have you ever quoted the Bhagavad Gita to a nation of white people? If so, how did it go? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

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Queen’s Gone Rancid She Has

Queen’s Gone Rancid She Has

This episode was recorded on August 20, 2022. Does that mean we knew Queen Elizabeth II (Queen of England) was going to die? Yes. Yes we did. MI6 needs to shoulder some of the blame for this, and it sucks that she's dead, but really it's the queen's own fault for being such a fetid bitch. The world moves on in the wake of humanities greatest loss, but at least we can rest easy knowing the putrid old hag can no longer spread her pungent miasma. Also, we talk about Vsauce and marbles.   Do you want a thousand island dressing brand that reads "McFlurry" 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com Do you need a refill on your perscription of Schliflorizine tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

10 Syys 20221h 26min

The Unfettered Scam

The Unfettered Scam

If you listen to this episode, I'm so sorry, but you've been scammed. I own your wallet now. The only way to get it back is to go stand in an ancient microwave.   This email is a scam 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   This email is less of a scam tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

7 Syys 202214min

Killing The Homeless

Killing The Homeless

Do you remember a world before stained glass window outlets? I don't even want to imagine what life used to be like. If you order one now, we will throw in a free bird shooting potato gun (this is not a gun that shoots potatoes at birds). If you order one five minutes ago, we will throw in a free waterproof toaster, and some menaloast (a Greek delicacy). If you don't order one, we will send it to Washington.   Please donate to our chairty/religion/reality TV show. It is the only way we can properly rid the world of its filth. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Please do not look up cholent. You will regret it.

2 Syys 20221h 5min

The Katsenberg Films

The Katsenberg Films

This is supposed to be a wholesome podcast. Please do not make fun of others for what they believe, and be respectful to retail workers, they don't get paid enough to deal with your selfish behavior. Also, Jesus and Martin Luther King Jr. are fake, lol, gottem.   I've got no snarky comment to leave here, but feel free to email us 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

30 Elo 202212min

Moon Eff Kennedy

Moon Eff Kennedy

Moon Kennedy is one of the most influential people of all time, unfortunately he died long before he should have, but we are the only podcast brave enough to even talk about him. Malcolm X is one of the most influential people of all time, unfortunately he died long before he should have, but we are the only podcast brave enough to even talk about him. Mickey Mouse is one of the most influential people of all time, unfortunately he's still around long after he should have gone, but no one wants to even talk about him because he's an awful bigot with his mind stuck in the past, and all he cares about is trying to sell you Lays.   Are you Estonian and want to complain about Colton? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Do you have an example of a 'Dinosaurs Have Feathers' type of thought? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

27 Elo 20221h 16min

The Dumbest Injury

The Dumbest Injury

Everyone has been injured...everyone. What is the stupidest way we have done it. Also, who is the best celebrity?   Have you ever injured yourself in a smart way? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Do you think Colton's brother should pay him back? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

24 Elo 202213min

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