He Blew It Side C
2 Gleeps19 Heinä 2023

He Blew It Side C

How can there be a Side C on a tape? Really? That's what you are thinking about right now? This is Colton here, and I just posted the audio that I was only supposed to post when Noah dies. I personally would think that is a little more pressing and concerning. Let me tell you my reasoning. We recorded a few episodes in advance because we were going on a road trip through the beautiful and astounding Great Plains. There the prairie lay, uniform and unvarying, spanning, unbroken, to the ends of the horizon. Staring at it, let me tell you, those flat lines almost made me flat line... Anyway, I worked diligently to make sure everything was done in a timely manner so the audience didn't have to suffer. I had just posted the most recent episode, and not even 3 hours later, Noah died. I'll be honest, it was obvious that the Multiple Sclerosis was going to be the one to kill him, I just didn't expect it to happen like it did. I don't want to beat around the bush, so I will just come out and tell you how exactly my co-host met his end. As we were nearing the end of our trip, many memorable things had happened, but it's all overshadowed by the memory of the last time I saw him. You see, towards the end, we found ourselves in Colorado. We made our way to the top of the Rocky Mountains. (The highest part where tourists are allowed to go by car.) He just wanted to get a slightly better view of the range, so he climbed over the safety guard rail. Noah didn't even go out more than 10 feet (about 3 meters), when he stepped on a loose pile of rocks. Really in most cases it would have been no big deal, but in this one instance...by complete coincidence...his leg muscles stiffened, and he wasn't able to balance himself before falling. He immediately fell back and cracked his skull on the ground. Without hesitation, I went to go help my friend. Forgoing all safety, I jumped over the rail. It wasn't too late. The damage seemed minimal. He must've been in a lot of pain, but he was still alive. After all, people have fallen from much higher and lived, and all he did was trip. I guess my point is that I'm kind of a hero or whatever. Just keep that in mind when I tell you what happened next... When I jumped the rail to help him, I tripped on his loose boot strap, and while trying to keep myself from falling...I accidentally nudged his body with my foot...sending him plummeting down the cliff. It was a really steep cliff.

So I guess the moral of the story is, "don't help people because you are only going to make things worse". Also, I reached out to Noah's twin brother, and he has agreed to host the podcast with me going forward. We talked about it and have decided that in order to avoid some sort of awkward transition period while The Orient gets used to a new host, he is just going to do the podcast in character as his brother. Don't worry, no one knows Noah better than his own twin brother, and he is extremely familiar with the podcast and our style of humor. You probably won't even notice the difference, since Noah told him everything (pretty much up to 6 minutes before the death). Noah would've wanted it this way...probably. But who really cares what Noah would've wanted, it's my podcast now...well, and his brother's I guess.

If you want to send your condolences, you can send them here. It would really mean a lot to both hosts.

2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com

If you think cassette tapes should have 3 sides, express that to me here:

tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

Jaksot(209)

Sunny Manta Ray

Sunny Manta Ray

We get a little bit more vulnerable with our emotions in this one. Colton elaborates on his religion and personal beliefs. Noah reminisces about his life was like in the mornings before school. Also, we talk about how over time we've both slowly begun to feel more like a man trapped alone...in sunny Manta Ray!   Have you ever learned something twice in one day? If so, what? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Have you ever stabbed someone with an egg? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

19 Elo 20221h 9min

The Greatest Talent

The Greatest Talent

Do you have a talent that is really cool and you are super proud of? Well, most people don't. If you ask the average person what their greatest talent is, they will initially struggle to answer, and then they will tell you something that's kind of cool but still pretty stupid. What I'm trying to say is...people need to get cooler talents.   Do you know what Simon Cowell's talent is? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   What is the stinkiest place you've been? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

16 Elo 202211min

Chekhov’s Night Soil

Chekhov’s Night Soil

This one is a pretty big deal actually. Colton is going to spend 70 minutes explaining the most important 5 minutes of his life. This is the story of how "I Was Scammed By A Night Soil Salesman". Also, we talk about Harry Potter I think for a little bit, I dunno.   Are there any logical or continuity errors the series of events explained in this episode? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Do you have any questions about the timeline of Colton watching the Walking Dead before it aired on TV? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

13 Elo 20221h 24min

The Battle Of The Boats

The Battle Of The Boats

We are hitting all the controversial notes in this one. An early 20th century British vessel was sunk by America? Check. An early 20th century Meteor landed in Russia? Check. An early 20th century wooden boat created by a biblical figure 7,000 years ago? Check.   Who is the messiest person you know? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   If Regis Philbin and Jeff Foxworthy were to fight, who would win? Probably Jeff actually. It's not that hard to beat a dead person. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

9 Elo 20228min

Welcome to O’Lodeans

Welcome to O’Lodeans

This is the episode where you will get the inside scoop about how all of the companies -- like Turbo Tax and H&R Block -- were run in the early 2000's. You will also learn about the worst way to die, and an Irish pub that got shut down for sliming children.   Remember that if you see Turquise the Clown, tell him to choke on a smidgeon of a pigeon, because he is the worst clown.   You can receive the better audio quality version of this episode by joining Gleep Plus for just $14.99/month. Not really, but wouldn't that be funny if we charged money for that. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   We are offering the 3D surround sound audio file of this episode exclusively to those with a Gleep Gold membership, which is only $99.99/month. This one is actually real. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

6 Elo 20221h 11min

The Diary Epilogue

The Diary Epilogue

This is the third and final part of "The Diary" Saga. That means that there are no more parts. This is the end. And since it's the end we thought it necessary to answer some important questions that you may ponder if you were to begin writing a diary.   Does Martin Luther King Sr. empower you every day? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   What is your favorite method of relieving ball stress? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

2 Elo 202212min

Weepers Losers Keepers Finders

Weepers Losers Keepers Finders

Every single thing is connected in this one. From designing the most fire resistant housing that will transform the entire world, to the rat that delivers Quiznos subs to people at supersonic speeds, and everything in between. What is an example of something that could possibly be between those two things? How about we give you the perfect plan to rob a bank without getting caught...guaranteed. You might want to write some of this down. Also, we fixed Breaking Bad's lackluster scripting and story by adding more Tuco, killing Aaron Paul (Jesse Pinkman), removing Anna Gunn (Skylar White), making it gay, and then making it more gay.   Let us know if you also prefer you orange juice to be made with hate. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Tell us if you would be willing to sign a petition to get a Breaking Bad reboot containing the changes we have made, or if you are interested in the Vince Gilligan's Island spin off series. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

30 Heinä 20221h 12min

The Diary Sequel

The Diary Sequel

Svb Hvzm, yzxp ztzrm drgs zmlgsvi vmgib. R pmld blf'iv mlg zm vmgrtb drgs z xliklvzo ylwb yfg blf ziv ivzo gl nv rm nb nrmw Hvzm. (I wrote this in Frankish, so you can never understand it...unless you somehow decode my new language, fat chance of that.)   This is part 2 of the diary trilogy. In this one we are going over the community's concerns about the article we read in the first part.   Send us an email if you need more personal advice about starting your own diary. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   If you can somehow manage to decode the message I wrote in the description before the next episode is released, send it here and I will probably super vaguely mention the fact that you did it at some point...maybe. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

26 Heinä 202213min

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