He Blew It Side C
2 Gleeps19 Heinä 2023

He Blew It Side C

How can there be a Side C on a tape? Really? That's what you are thinking about right now? This is Colton here, and I just posted the audio that I was only supposed to post when Noah dies. I personally would think that is a little more pressing and concerning. Let me tell you my reasoning. We recorded a few episodes in advance because we were going on a road trip through the beautiful and astounding Great Plains. There the prairie lay, uniform and unvarying, spanning, unbroken, to the ends of the horizon. Staring at it, let me tell you, those flat lines almost made me flat line... Anyway, I worked diligently to make sure everything was done in a timely manner so the audience didn't have to suffer. I had just posted the most recent episode, and not even 3 hours later, Noah died. I'll be honest, it was obvious that the Multiple Sclerosis was going to be the one to kill him, I just didn't expect it to happen like it did. I don't want to beat around the bush, so I will just come out and tell you how exactly my co-host met his end. As we were nearing the end of our trip, many memorable things had happened, but it's all overshadowed by the memory of the last time I saw him. You see, towards the end, we found ourselves in Colorado. We made our way to the top of the Rocky Mountains. (The highest part where tourists are allowed to go by car.) He just wanted to get a slightly better view of the range, so he climbed over the safety guard rail. Noah didn't even go out more than 10 feet (about 3 meters), when he stepped on a loose pile of rocks. Really in most cases it would have been no big deal, but in this one instance...by complete coincidence...his leg muscles stiffened, and he wasn't able to balance himself before falling. He immediately fell back and cracked his skull on the ground. Without hesitation, I went to go help my friend. Forgoing all safety, I jumped over the rail. It wasn't too late. The damage seemed minimal. He must've been in a lot of pain, but he was still alive. After all, people have fallen from much higher and lived, and all he did was trip. I guess my point is that I'm kind of a hero or whatever. Just keep that in mind when I tell you what happened next... When I jumped the rail to help him, I tripped on his loose boot strap, and while trying to keep myself from falling...I accidentally nudged his body with my foot...sending him plummeting down the cliff. It was a really steep cliff.

So I guess the moral of the story is, "don't help people because you are only going to make things worse". Also, I reached out to Noah's twin brother, and he has agreed to host the podcast with me going forward. We talked about it and have decided that in order to avoid some sort of awkward transition period while The Orient gets used to a new host, he is just going to do the podcast in character as his brother. Don't worry, no one knows Noah better than his own twin brother, and he is extremely familiar with the podcast and our style of humor. You probably won't even notice the difference, since Noah told him everything (pretty much up to 6 minutes before the death). Noah would've wanted it this way...probably. But who really cares what Noah would've wanted, it's my podcast now...well, and his brother's I guess.

If you want to send your condolences, you can send them here. It would really mean a lot to both hosts.

2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com

If you think cassette tapes should have 3 sides, express that to me here:

tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

Jaksot(209)

The Pulp Nonfiction | Podsthumous EP23

The Pulp Nonfiction | Podsthumous EP23

Do you believe in horoscopes? That's right, we answered one question in this episode. This is a list episode though, don't get confused. If you really want to know our answer to this question, you are going to have to listen to the whole episode. Nice.   If you have any suggestions for how I should continue the podcast after the final episode, please let me know. (This is very time sensitive) 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

11 Loka 20231h 4min

The Big Deal | Podsthumous EP22

The Big Deal | Podsthumous EP22

In an effort to push off posting the final "non-list" episode for one more week, I have Frankenstein'd together a few of our list episodes to feel more like a full episode (I have a lot of list episodes left, so I figured I would give it a try).    There are too many questions answered in this episode for me to feasibly type here, so instead I will give a brief overview of the episode. We talk about Colton's full body pillow, Noah constantly getting solicited by Chinese people, tornados that are controlled by ICE, the three things every dad needs to know, and sexy Hobbits. Also, we go back in time to stop Hitler and make John Lennon gay. Oh, and don't forget...we figured out how to solve homelessness around the country.   Do you think spiders existed before Mark David Chapman? Send proof here: 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Would you rather get hit by a tomato or an onion? Send proof here: tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

7 Loka 202359min

The Food Riddle | Podsthumous EP21

The Food Riddle | Podsthumous EP21

What food should taste better than its appearance? Your guess as to what this question means is as good as ours. I'm still extremely confused by this. Just listen to the episode, I'm going to go lie down. ...Head hurt...   2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

4 Loka 202315min

Clown Wheels | Podsthumous EP20

Clown Wheels | Podsthumous EP20

Noah's cousin has a racist dog, another celebrity has finally visited our small little town, we discover how to save the Titan submersible, clowns are running marathons, and Colton is taking a team of prostitutes to escape rooms. That is a pretty succinct way to summarize an episode if I do say so myself.   Also..."We don't carrot doesn't matter."   Do you want to be on "Who Can Be The Best Clown?" Send your auditions here: 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Does your hometown have its own 9/11? Tell me about it. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

30 Syys 20231h 10min

The Popcorn Secret | Podsthumous EP19

The Popcorn Secret | Podsthumous EP19

This entire episode is about Orville Redenbees and his grandson Gary Indiana. Let's see if we can figure out the Redenbacher family secret to their popping corn. That's right, not every bonus episode is a list. I am trying to cheat out as many episodes as I can because I am running low. Just to be clear...I have exactly 2 episodes left, and then I've completely run out. I do have a decent amount of list episodes left though and we also recorded "The Recess Episode" and "The Wild Thornberrys Episode"...so maybe I can just combine a few of them into one to make some longer episodes. I'm still sort of trying to figure it out, but I'd better figure it out soon because I can't cheat out episodes forever. Maybe, I'll just cut old episodes together in a different order and assume nobody will notice.   2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

27 Syys 202315min

Magnet Opus | Podsthumous EP18

Magnet Opus | Podsthumous EP18

Why is Finding Nemo called Finding Nemo? What would you put in your tri fold hat? What was you donkey born with? All of the questions are answered in this episode...or...at the very least, they are mentioned. This episode was originally recorded on April 12th 2023, and was meant to be released if Colton ended up getting lost in Chicago...Colton never got lost in Chicago, so we've kind of just been holding onto this episode; however, now seems like as good a time as any to post this episode since I am almost completely out of episodes to post. *YOU MAY NOT ACTUALLY RECIEVE THE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS*   What is your country of Oregon? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Would you eat some prisoner pigs? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

23 Syys 20231h 1min

The Innocence Project | Podsthumous EP17

The Innocence Project | Podsthumous EP17

Who would you want to trade lives with? If you were given the chance to steal something, what would it be? What type of cuisine would you serve your customers if you owned a 5 star restaurant? What's the fanciest event you have ever attended? Who is your greatest enemy?   Can someone please get this episode to Phoebe Gates? Colton is really sorry about the gum thing.   2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

20 Syys 202312min

DoorMob Warning | Podsthumous EP16

DoorMob Warning | Podsthumous EP16

Colton is getting into the Vietnam market, Motel 6 is leaving the light on, Clifford is a big red dog, and Graham Crackers are hard to masturbate with. We realize that we are terrible at being terrible, and decide to start a comedy duo exclusively telling Dave Ramsey jokes.    Are you a trend setter or a trend forgetter? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Do you know what happened to Colton's doorknob? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

16 Syys 20231h 19min

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