He Blew It Side C
2 Gleeps19 Heinä 2023

He Blew It Side C

How can there be a Side C on a tape? Really? That's what you are thinking about right now? This is Colton here, and I just posted the audio that I was only supposed to post when Noah dies. I personally would think that is a little more pressing and concerning. Let me tell you my reasoning. We recorded a few episodes in advance because we were going on a road trip through the beautiful and astounding Great Plains. There the prairie lay, uniform and unvarying, spanning, unbroken, to the ends of the horizon. Staring at it, let me tell you, those flat lines almost made me flat line... Anyway, I worked diligently to make sure everything was done in a timely manner so the audience didn't have to suffer. I had just posted the most recent episode, and not even 3 hours later, Noah died. I'll be honest, it was obvious that the Multiple Sclerosis was going to be the one to kill him, I just didn't expect it to happen like it did. I don't want to beat around the bush, so I will just come out and tell you how exactly my co-host met his end. As we were nearing the end of our trip, many memorable things had happened, but it's all overshadowed by the memory of the last time I saw him. You see, towards the end, we found ourselves in Colorado. We made our way to the top of the Rocky Mountains. (The highest part where tourists are allowed to go by car.) He just wanted to get a slightly better view of the range, so he climbed over the safety guard rail. Noah didn't even go out more than 10 feet (about 3 meters), when he stepped on a loose pile of rocks. Really in most cases it would have been no big deal, but in this one instance...by complete coincidence...his leg muscles stiffened, and he wasn't able to balance himself before falling. He immediately fell back and cracked his skull on the ground. Without hesitation, I went to go help my friend. Forgoing all safety, I jumped over the rail. It wasn't too late. The damage seemed minimal. He must've been in a lot of pain, but he was still alive. After all, people have fallen from much higher and lived, and all he did was trip. I guess my point is that I'm kind of a hero or whatever. Just keep that in mind when I tell you what happened next... When I jumped the rail to help him, I tripped on his loose boot strap, and while trying to keep myself from falling...I accidentally nudged his body with my foot...sending him plummeting down the cliff. It was a really steep cliff.

So I guess the moral of the story is, "don't help people because you are only going to make things worse". Also, I reached out to Noah's twin brother, and he has agreed to host the podcast with me going forward. We talked about it and have decided that in order to avoid some sort of awkward transition period while The Orient gets used to a new host, he is just going to do the podcast in character as his brother. Don't worry, no one knows Noah better than his own twin brother, and he is extremely familiar with the podcast and our style of humor. You probably won't even notice the difference, since Noah told him everything (pretty much up to 6 minutes before the death). Noah would've wanted it this way...probably. But who really cares what Noah would've wanted, it's my podcast now...well, and his brother's I guess.

If you want to send your condolences, you can send them here. It would really mean a lot to both hosts.

2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com

If you think cassette tapes should have 3 sides, express that to me here:

tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

Jaksot(209)

The Mini Wheat Guilt | Podsthumous EP15

The Mini Wheat Guilt | Podsthumous EP15

What was the craziest bet you've ever made? Do you believe that love is blind?   We spend some time discussing our infamous $500 bet, and Colton brings back his 'Would You Rather' questions. We also discuss how to find your soul mate.   2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

13 Syys 202327min

Episode 25

Episode 25

For those that are keen of eye, you might have noticed that this is the original Episode 25. Up until now, this was our only fully deleted episode. Luckily, I just so happened to find it. It has also been mentioned once or twice in other episodes as "The Racist Mickey Episode". I'm just getting extremely desperate to find new episodes to post. I don't know what to do.   This episode is about space. This episode is also about Mickey Mouse. A classic one-two punch if I do say so myself.   Help me. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Please help. tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

9 Syys 202357min

The Hidden Figures | Podsthumous EP14

The Hidden Figures | Podsthumous EP14

This is a unique episode to say the least. And really that's it. That is literally the least I can say about this episode, while simultaneously being the most I am going to say about this episode.   "Somebody please help. I don't know what I'm supposed to do going forward." ~Colton   2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

6 Syys 202317min

Raising Potato Chip | Podsthumous EP13

Raising Potato Chip | Podsthumous EP13

This one is about sticking leeches on your balls, what Jesus does with his balls, and probably some cool third thing. Colton is back at it again, explaining how he attempts to pick up women, he finally reveals his ethnicity, and reads an ad from the sponsor of this episode - Pillsbury.   "You can go down the easy path -- which is the correct way -- or you can go down the more difficult path -- which is also the correct way -- it'll lead you both to the same, you can...cause it...the ending is the same...it ends in the same place but then the be... cause, but then one is more difficult to go down than the other and it's very clearly labeled which one is which, and people normally take the, the easier path to the destination cause they both end at the same destination, but the...lo...the but, cause the longer one...hhueeeghh...the longer one is um...don't go down that one." ~Good 'Ol Bobby Frost   Do you want to sponsor us? Send us an email, and we can work something out. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Do you know any cool quotes from the great philosopher Bai Hu? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

2 Syys 20231h 29min

The Real Conversation | Podsthumous EP12

The Real Conversation | Podsthumous EP12

How many times have you had your heart broken? What is the first thing you do after getting home from a trip? W-W-W-What are the things you would spend with a billion dollars? How did your parents meat? What is your greatest kitchen mistake?   There were a lot of questions in this episode. There was also not a whole lot of good questions in this episode, but it is what it is I guess.   2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

30 Elo 202322min

Mortician’s Ball | Podsthumous EP11

Mortician’s Ball | Podsthumous EP11

Come one, come all, for in this episode we are getting excited and getting ready for the Mortician's Ball. Beyond the obvious, we make sure to delve deep into what the life of a fly looks like, Colton's plans and goals when it comes to seducing pregnant women, how you can expect the 2082 Beijing Olympics to look, and what police officers are up to throughout the multiverse. There may also be some mentions of Little Kid Bladder's secret lair, and how the President's tubes fit into the whole equation.   Would you pee in a bowl full of piss? 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   Are you a fly listener? What are you, a bat? Gottem tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

26 Elo 20231h 43min

The Power Bottom Chef | Podsthumous EP10

The Power Bottom Chef | Podsthumous EP10

What is one ability you believe everyone should possess? This is an 18 minute episode, and we barely even manage to answer one question from the list. That's right, we are somehow getting worse at answering questions. We mostly spent the time talking about Gordon Ramsay's new show, ravenous dads, and how Noah is expecting to die (in hindsight, already knowing how he died, I can tell you that his guess was in fact incorrect).   2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

23 Elo 202330min

Biblical Corn | Podsthumous EP9

Biblical Corn | Podsthumous EP9

It has become extremely clear now that one of the hosts has time blindness, and the other suffers from a tactile dysfunction. We seek out answers to age old questions such as: "Do islands float?", "What is wasp honey?", "Does Noah need a new hat?", and "Is Alan Dershowitz a good guy?". We also discuss Sherwin Williams' plan to paint the Earth, the existence of an indecisive Magic 7 Ball, the talent that could potentially get a golden buzzer on America's Got Talent, and books...I guess.   Do you know what Nickelodeon song says "the grass is always greener on the other side"? Even though I'm pretty sure we figured out that it was As Told By Ginger, and when that show aired on TV lines up perfectly with when he would've been watching Nickelodeon as a child, and he definitely has seen that show multiple times even if he doesn't necessarily recall it...he seems very confident that it was a different show, so if you could send an email mentioning which one it is, I would really appreciate it. 2gleepsdotorg@gmail.com   How close are you to Iowa? tgleepsdotorg@gmail.com

19 Elo 20231h 39min

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