257. Self-Trust for Anxious Overthinkers: How to stop dress rehearsing tragedy

257. Self-Trust for Anxious Overthinkers: How to stop dress rehearsing tragedy

If you're stuck in a spiral of overthinking — replaying conversations, asking 15 friends what to do, imagining every worst-case scenario — this episode will feel like a deep exhale.

Overthinking isn't you being "careful."

It's a self-trust deficit.

And that is a skill gap, not a character flaw.

In this episode, I break down:

• Why anxious rumination feels so real and so urgent
• How patriarchy, people-pleasing, and fear of rejection trained you not to trust yourself
• The difference between careful planning and dress rehearsing tragedy
• Why outsourcing decisions to friends keeps you stuck
• What self-trust actually is (and why it's messy, imperfect, and learnable)
• Tiny, doable steps to rebuild your self-trust today
• How this plays out in dating, boundaries, and big life decisions
• A framework to stop overthinking and start acting from your gut

If you've been doubting yourself for years — in your dating life, your friendships, your career, your boundaries — this episode will teach you how to finally have your own back.

Self-trust is a skill. And you're about to learn it.

Work with Lily

✨ Main Character Life Mastermind — Applications Opening soon!
Sign up for my free training-- Stop People Pleasing and Build a Stupidly Joyful Life-- on Dec 3rd to be the first to apply. RSVP HERE

📚 Read my book — Thank You, More Please
A feminist guide to breaking dumb dating rules and finding love
Order here: https://datebrazen.com/book


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Episoder(341)

286. Stop Freezing Around Cute People

286. Stop Freezing Around Cute People

If you want to date IRL and find your person, but you see someone cute and your body locks up, this episode is for you. Freezing is a somatic response. It is your nervous system protecting you from f...

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285. How to date men when you hate men

285. How to date men when you hate men

How do you date men when you hate men? It can be a tough question, especially if you've never seen that what you want and who you want exists. Both/and in this episode, I'm your feminist dating coac...

6 Okt 10min

284. Make dating apps optional: A roadmap to attract the right relationship IRL

284. Make dating apps optional: A roadmap to attract the right relationship IRL

You don't have to be on dating apps to be "trying" in your dating life. This episode gives you the alternative strategy that has worked for hundreds of my clients (and worked for me to meet my husband...

29 Sep 24min

283. My story: from people pleasing and settling in dating, to attracting more as the main character (and how you can, too)

283. My story: from people pleasing and settling in dating, to attracting more as the main character (and how you can, too)

In episode 283, I'm getting personal about how people pleasing made me settle in dating, friendship, and work, how it led to panic attacks on my lunch break, and the three-step formula I used to quit,...

22 Sep 31min

282. "It's scary to want things." How to stop people pleasing and attract what you actually want, with my client Jackie

282. "It's scary to want things." How to stop people pleasing and attract what you actually want, with my client Jackie

Jackie was burnt out to a crisp. She was in a job she felt trapped in, because the story was that she had to be of service no matter how she felt. She had taken a sabbatical that was supposed to be tw...

15 Sep 54min

281. When is the right time to have sex? (and why you keep asking everyone but yourself)

281. When is the right time to have sex? (and why you keep asking everyone but yourself)

The way you do one thing is the way you do everything. So when you're stressed about the question "when is the right time to have sex??" and outsource your answer to another dating expert or another ...

8 Sep 26min

280. The Sneaky Ways You're People Pleasing (and How to Stop)

280. The Sneaky Ways You're People Pleasing (and How to Stop)

The good, reliable, everyone-comes-to-me best friend. You've been praised for that role your whole life. What if it's the reason you can't get yourself to shoot your shot, ask for more, or take up spa...

1 Sep 26min

279. Decide You're the One: How to Get Over the Fear That You're Not Enough

279. Decide You're the One: How to Get Over the Fear That You're Not Enough

You've been waiting to feel ready. Ready enough to launch the thing, shoot your shot, ask for the promotion you've been researching and figuring out the pitch for for months. Here's the hot take: you'...

25 Aug 30min

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