179 - Why Anger Management Doesn't Work - And What To Do Instead

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven of the most common anger management mistakes that keep people stuck, even when they're genuinely trying to change. Whether you've read all the books, tried breathing exercises or sat through a course or two, this episode explains why the effort often doesn't stick and what to do differently starting today.

Rather than offering surface-level fixes, Alastair goes deeper - looking at the root causes of why anger keeps coming back and giving you practical, honest tools to finally break the pattern. And the good news is that recognising these mistakes is often all it takes to start seeing real change.

Key Takeaways:

• Most anger management treats the symptoms, not the root cause. Until you address what you're thinking, not what's happening, you'll keep fighting the same battle.
• Suppressing anger doesn't make it disappear. It builds. Learning to catch it early and deescalate is far more effective than pushing it down.
• When you blame others for your anger, you hand them all the power. Taking responsibility for your own responses is one of the most liberating shifts you can make.
• Anger doesn't arrive out of nowhere. Your body gives you signals before things escalate. Learning to notice them gives you a window to make a different choice.
• Negative self-talk pours fuel on the fire. Shifting from "I can't handle this" to "This is hard, but I've handled hard things before" can be the difference between escalating and staying in control.
• Rigid expectations about people or about life create a relentless sense that everyone is letting you down. Loosening that grip creates more peace than most people expect.
• Trying to change deep-seated patterns alone is genuinely difficult. The right support makes change happen far faster than most people ever expect.

Resources & Next Steps:

If you'd like support working through any of these patterns and building calmer, more loving relationships:

• Visit angersecrets.com
• Book a free 30-minute phone call
• Access the free training on "Breaking The Anger Cycle"