Why Breakups Hurt So Much: Attachment, Grief, and Healing

Why Breakups Hurt So Much: Attachment, Grief, and Healing

Why does a breakup feel like more than heartbreak? In this episode, John Kim explores why breakups can feel like a death, and why that experience is rooted in more than emotion alone. Drawing from neuroscience, attachment theory, and years of therapeutic experience, he explains what happens in the brain after a relationship ends and why healing takes time. John unpacks the hidden losses that often come with heartbreak, from the future we imagined to the identity we built inside a relationship. He also shares why recovery isn't about forgetting someone, but learning to create a new reality without them. In this episode: • Why breakups feel physically painful • The role dopamine and attachment play in heartbreak • How relationships become part of our emotional regulation system • The grief of losing a future that never actually happened • Identity loss after a breakup • Why healing is really about rewiring If someone in your life is going through a breakup, share this episode with them. Follow the podcast for more conversations on relationships, healing, and personal growth. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 John’s book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Episoder(1105)

The resentment you don’t talk about will change your relationship

The resentment you don’t talk about will change your relationship

I think resentment is one of the biggest things that can crack a relationship. We get hurt, minimize it, swallow it, and keep moving until all those little things start piling up. Eventually, the rese...

2 Sep 24min

What the darkness taught me about God

What the darkness taught me about God

I’ve been thinking a lot about my relationship with God. I believe in God. I believe in something greater. But I’ve realized that believing in God and actually having a relationship with God are two d...

31 Aug 25min

Therapy Thursdays | Why You’re Stuck, What Real Intimacy Feels Like & Letting Go Without Closure

Therapy Thursdays | Why You’re Stuck, What Real Intimacy Feels Like & Letting Go Without Closure

Why do we remain stuck in the same patterns, compare ourselves to our partner’s past, or wait for an ex to give us closure? In Episode 26 of Therapy Thursdays, John answers your most personal quest...

27 Aug 17min

How We Sabotage Ourselves

How We Sabotage Ourselves

I’m breaking down the biggest ways I think we sabotage our own healing, relationships, and lives. This conversation came from a post that resonated with millions of people and grew into a series becau...

26 Aug 20min

10 Questions About Love

10 Questions About Love

What happens when I know better but still find myself repeating the same relationship patterns? I answer 10 questions about love, attachment, obsession, loneliness, breakups, abuse, reconciliation, an...

24 Aug 23min

Are you in love or attached to the fantasy?

Are you in love or attached to the fantasy?

What is the difference between loving someone and becoming obsessed with them? In this episode, I explore how love can slowly turn into fixation, fantasy, and emotional dependency, and why so many of ...

19 Aug 38min

The house you grew up in still lives inside you

The house you grew up in still lives inside you

The house I grew up in is probably still living inside me. And the house you grew up in may still be living inside you, too. I’m recording from a diner in Mexico City and exploring one of the most ...

17 Aug 23min

Therapy Thursdays | How to know what’s actually healthy for you

Therapy Thursdays | How to know what’s actually healthy for you

In this Therapy Thursdays episode, I’m answering the relationship and personal-growth questions we often think about but don’t always know how to ask. What does an emotionally safe relationship act...

13 Aug 15min

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