Ep 219: Comparison or compassion?

In this episode, I explore why we compare ourselves to others at work, and what to do when those comparisons leave us feeling worse rather than better.

I unpack the evolutionary roots of social comparison, why comparing ourselves to people we don't know well (rather than those close to us) tends to be the most damaging, and how these comparisons can spiral into rumination, pull us out of the present moment, and quietly shape our self-concept over time.

Drawing on my coaching work, I share four practical responses: noticing when you're making a comparison, learning to see it as just a passing thought (cognitive defusion), getting curious about where it's really coming from, and staying mindfully aware of how it affects your feelings and behaviour. I also revisit self-compassion as a way of responding to comparison with kindness rather than judgement.

I close the episode by distinguishing unhelpful comparisons from useful ones- spotting a role model, and comparing yourself to your own past self as a way of tracking meaningful progress.

Let me know if you have any follow-up questions or comments - email me at 'podcast at worklifepsych dot com' or join the conversation over on WorkLifeSpark, our online personal development community.

Thanks for listening!

Resources for this episode

Ep 218 - Self-compassion with Dr. Fiona Jane Meechan
Self-compassion: the missing ingredient - https://www.worklifepsych.com/self-compassion-the-missing-ingredient/
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