How to Master Your Emotions, Stop People Pleasing, & Say No Without Guilt - Melissa Urban

Melissa Urban stopped being nice on purpose. Her relationships got better, not worse.

You've said yes to plans you didn't want, dinners you dreaded, and favours that left you resentful. In this conversation you'll learn how to spot exactly where a boundary is missing in your life, what to say out loud when you set it, and how to hold it when the other person pushes back. You'll also stop treating the guilt that follows as proof you did something wrong.

In this episode:

-Spot the feelings that signal you may need a boundary

-Get Melissa's homework for boundary-setting (it's easier than you think!)

-How to tell a real boundary from a wall

-Exact scripts for what to say in life's most uncomfortable moments

-The "energy leaks" quietly emptying you (and what to do)

-What saying "no" does to your "yes"

-How to raise a kid who can say "no"Melissa Urban is the co-founder and CEO of Whole30 and the author of The Book of Boundaries. Known online as “the Boundary Lady,” she's the expert at teaching people how to say no clearly, kindly, and without apologizing for having needs.

Explore our website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Shop the Summer Clothing Collection

Check out The Book of Boundaries

Follow Melissa on Instagram

Browse Melissa's website

Ready to Hack Your Happiness some more? Listen to our interview with Michael Chernow. We know you'll love it: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠listen + watch now!⁠

(00:00) Why This Conversation Matters For You

(02:19) Becoming 'That Boundary Lady'

(04:15) Where Should I Add Boundaries Into My Life?

(08:29) The MOST Important Boundary

(10:36) Remember This When You Feel a Boundary Slipping

(16:30) Are Boundaries Selfish?

(19:57) Do I Need To Disappoint People?

(21:58) Your Sign To Do THIS

(22:32) Boundaries vs Walls

(27:28) Have You Ever Set An Unhealthy Boundary?

(29:50) Increase The Power of Your Yes

(31:04) Discomfort In Setting Boundaries

(35:33) Your Homework -- Do This TODAY!

(37:33) Is Cancelling Plans Last Minute a Boundary?

(39:33) Use This Boundary Script

(40:49) Say YES To This!

(41:57) How To Teach Boundaries

(44:25) Boundary or Wall?

(48:00) Give Us The Script

(50:00) What Is An Energy Leak?

(53:48) Melissa's First-Ever Boundary

(56:54) Having a Bad Day vs Ignoring Your Boundaries

(58:24) The MOST Important Part of Today's Conversation

(59:37) Rapid Fire

(1:02:13) Find Melissa Here

(1:03:04) Rewire Your Habits, Change Your Life, and Boost Your Motivation

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