How to Make Someone Feel Seen Instead of Solved

How to Make Someone Feel Seen Instead of Solved

What does someone really need when they're hurting? In this episode, therapist Malisa Hepner welcomes back friend of the show, Elaynie Painter, to explore why our instinct to fix, solve, or offer advice can sometimes create more distance—and what it looks like to truly be present instead.

Together they discuss emotional safety, self-awareness, nervous system regulation, and how learning to stay with someone's emotions (instead of rushing to change them) can transform your relationships. Whether you're supporting a grieving friend, navigating conflict with your partner, or learning to be more emotionally available, this conversation offers practical tools to help you show up with greater compassion and connection.

The next time someone shares something painful, pause before responding.Notice if an urge to fix arises, take a breath, and choose presence over problem-solving. Feeling understood often heals more than being given answers.

Subscribe to Emotionally Unavailable's Patreon!

  • $5 - Early Ad free episodes + Occasional other goodies!

  • $10 - Benefits listed above and access to growing voice library support for spiraling/overthinking (along with workbooks and practices)

  • $30 - Deeper work and group spaces

https://patreon.com/Emotionallyunavailablepodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink

Want to be a guest on Emotionally Unavailable? Send Malisa Hepner a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/1739504718415772259d92bc1

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

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Episoder(300)

Your Lymphatic System & Mental Health: How Better Flow Supports the Body and Mind

Your Lymphatic System & Mental Health: How Better Flow Supports the Body and Mind

In this episode, Malisa Hepner sits down with lymphatic health expert John Ossipinsky to explore how the lymphatic system may influence not only immune function and physical health, but also mental an...

28 Aug 40min

Auditioning for the Role of Yourself: Addiction, Identity & Starting Over

Auditioning for the Role of Yourself: Addiction, Identity & Starting Over

Host Malisa Hepner sits down with comedian and TV personality Paul Drayton for a candid conversation about his journey with undiagnosed ADHD and the ways impulsivity, humor, and alcohol shaped his lif...

26 Aug 34min

Becoming Your Own Best Mother: Healing, Inner Safety & Spiritual Growth

Becoming Your Own Best Mother: Healing, Inner Safety & Spiritual Growth

In this episode, Malisa Hepner sits down with Liana Morris to explore what it means to heal, create safety within yourself, and become your own best mother. Together, they discuss spirituality, person...

24 Aug 55min

Finding Yourself After: Identity, Emotional Healing & Purpose

Finding Yourself After: Identity, Emotional Healing & Purpose

Host, Malisa Hepner, sits with Margaret Eastman Smith, as she shares her journey from growing up in an international spiritual and moral movement (Moral Rearmament) to questioning what she was taught,...

21 Aug 52min

Out-of-Body Experiences, Consciousness & Healing: Where Spirituality Meets Psychology

Out-of-Body Experiences, Consciousness & Healing: Where Spirituality Meets Psychology

In this episode, host Malisa Hepner sits down with Leslie Newan to explore her experiences with out-of-body travel and how they transformed her understanding of consciousness, embodiment, and spiritua...

19 Aug 46min

Addiction Recovery: Rebuilding Your Life Through Sobriety, Self-Love & Routine

Addiction Recovery: Rebuilding Your Life Through Sobriety, Self-Love & Routine

In this episode, host, Malisa Hepner, sits with Bryan Blackmon as he shares his journey from addiction to sobriety and how he rebuilt his life through resilience, self-love, and consistent daily routi...

17 Aug 54min

It's Never Too Late to Heal: Childhood Trauma, Shame & Becoming Your Authentic Self

It's Never Too Late to Heal: Childhood Trauma, Shame & Becoming Your Authentic Self

What if it's never too late to heal, reconnect with yourself, and become who you were always meant to be? Host, Malisa Hepner, sits with Lena Fein as she shares her powerful journey of healing from ch...

14 Aug 47min

How to Stop Overthinking: Break the Rumination Cycle & Take Back Control of Your Thoughts

How to Stop Overthinking: Break the Rumination Cycle & Take Back Control of Your Thoughts

In this episode, clinical psychologist Shang Olsen explores the psychology behind rumination, overthinking, and repetitive negative thoughts—and why trying to control or eliminate your thoughts can so...

12 Aug 41min

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