187 Why you keep dating the wrong people with Dr. Gillian O’Shea Brown

187 Why you keep dating the wrong people with Dr. Gillian O’Shea Brown

Why do we keep choosing the wrong partners — even when we know better? In this episode of That’s Orgasmic, Emily sits down with psychotherapist and professor Dr. Gillian O’Shea Brown to unpack the unconscious patterns that draw us toward emotionally unavailable relationships, familiar chaos, and unresolved wounds.

Together, they explore the idea of an “erotic emotional map,” how childhood attachment patterns can shape adult love lives, and why butterflies, adrenaline, and uncertainty can sometimes be misread as attraction. Gillian shares practical tools for noticing what a relationship brings out in you, including a simple body-based exercise and a post-date reflection practice that helps you track whether someone expands your sense of self or slowly erodes it.

If you’ve ever found yourself repeating the same relationship pattern, struggling to walk away, or wondering why calm love feels unfamiliar, this conversation offers compassionate insight and grounded guidance for choosing healthier, safer, and more reciprocal connection.

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Send your comments, questions and stories to: emilyduncan@thatsorgasmic.com

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Episoder(191)

190 Dickfishing - Ask a sexologist

190 Dickfishing - Ask a sexologist

Welcome to the first episode of Ask a Sexologist, where listeners send in their questions, stories and dilemmas, and Emily, a sex and relationship therapist, weighs in. Today's episode explores catfis...

2 Sep 25min

189 Why do people get turned on by humiliation? with Sexologist Lex Nyree

189 Why do people get turned on by humiliation? with Sexologist Lex Nyree

Emily is joined by sexologist and sex educator Lex Nyree to unpack humiliation kinks. They cover what counts as humiliation versus degradation, why some people are drawn to it, and how to explore it w...

26 Aug 49min

188 Missionary sex shouldn’t be boring, if it is, you’re doing it wrong

188 Missionary sex shouldn’t be boring, if it is, you’re doing it wrong

In this episode, Emily explores how to spice up the missionary position. Missionary can get a bad rap, dismissed as boring or too vanilla, but it doesn't have to be. Emily shares 8 ways to bring more ...

19 Aug 15min

186 What makes someone good at sex? (It's not experience)

186 What makes someone good at sex? (It's not experience)

Think being good at sex comes from having lots of experience? Think again. In this episode, I'm breaking down one of the biggest myths about sex: that the more sex you have had, the better you'll be i...

5 Aug 17min

185 Why do I like my sex toy more than partnered sex?

185 Why do I like my sex toy more than partnered sex?

This episode explores the listener question, "I bought a toy and I'm honestly a little embarrassed about how much I like it more than partnered sex. Does that mean something's wrong?" Get the Ultimate...

22 Jul 18min

184 Stop approaching women like this

184 Stop approaching women like this

In this episode, Emily discusses a recent scary experience of a man asking for her number in public. Emily also discusses the different ways men have approached her in public, from the ok to the bad. ...

15 Jul 22min

How to eat pussy - Queer edition with Jordana Ezra [REVISIT]

How to eat pussy - Queer edition with Jordana Ezra [REVISIT]

There is no new episode this week, instead, enjoy this revisit to episode 134 How to eat pussy. In this episode, I am joined by Jordana Ezra, a somatic sexologist specialising in LGBTIA+ sex. She is ...

8 Jul 43min

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