The Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria Decision That Saves My Energy (AuDHD)

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) can hit hard and fast over something you didn't even want, and knowing it makes no sense doesn't slow it down or stop the darn thing. I talk through my own RSD as an AuDHD adult and the decisions I've made to keep it from costing me as much.

RSD works like a voice that tells you a person, a group, or the whole world is singling you out and rejecting you, even when you can logically say, in the moment, that it isn't true. I go through the two categories I sort my own RSD into, the personal situations that involve specific people and the impersonal ones like download numbers or a general lack of inclusion, and I explain how I decide which ones to keep and which ones I can adjust or opt out of. Decisions! I also cover why I make these calls on purpose, and why safety and value look different for everyone.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

• Why RSD can fire hard over something you knew you didn't want
• The two categories I sort my RSD into, and how the sort changes what I do next
• How I decide whether an activity is worth the rejection risk or worth opting out of
• Why the same reaction can have a different flavour depending on the rest of your life
• What saving your energy in advance does for the rejections you can't avoid

CHAPTERS:

0:00 What RSD is and why you can't talk it down

2:02 The limited science, and why it's not a diagnosis

2:38 Why it can leave you feeling like the jerk

4:59 Sorting RSD into personal and impersonal

5:37 The birthday decision as an example

8:32 Running the analysis and deciding what to opt out of

9:55 Adjusting an activity so it carries less RSD

11:29 Saving your energy for the rejections you can't avoid

About Audio and Video

This show is available as a video on YouTube. Some audio you are hearing is taken from the video versions that are recorded outside, and why there are some changes in the microphone quality.

NEURODIVERGENT RESOURCES FROM JEN:

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About

This podcast was created, written, and is hosted by Jen deHaan. Jen has certifications related to healthy communities (Tufts University Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy), nervous system regulation, and she is a trauma-informed certified coach. She is working towards her board certified coach (BCC) credential, and has a BFA in teaching creative arts to adults. You can find her full bio here.

This podcast was made in British Columbia, Canada by Jen deHaan.

I respectfully acknowledge that I live and work on the unceded traditional territory of the Coast Salish peoples, and honour the homelands of the Qualicum First Nation and the Snaw-naw-as First Nation, as well as the ties of the Snuneymuxw and K'ómoks First Nations. I would like to express gratitude to these and all First Nations for their continued stewardship of these lands and waters where I create these episodes.

DISCLAIMER:

Wired Divergent is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're in crisis or need clinical support, please reach out to a qualified professional.

Crisis & Support Resources: https://jendehaan.com/mental-health-resources

Full Disclaimer: https://jendehaan.com/disclaimer

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy