Does He Ever Shut That Motor Off? | Nicole Carbone (S9E17)

This episode is sponsored by PESI. Nicole Carbone's son Luca is almost four, nonspeaking, and diagnosed with Level 2 autism. When he can't tell her what he needs, he bangs his head on whatever is closest. His pain tolerance is high enough that the thing strangers always say, that he'll stop before he really hurts himself, is just not true. In this Seen and Heard conversation, Nicole talks about the communication barrier underneath the self injury, the AAC device she hopes will ease it, and what it was like to separate her twins into different preschools so Luca could get what he needed. She also talks about the best 40 seconds of her life so far, the day he looked right at her and said "hi mommy" for the first time, and she got it on video. Then there's the part aimed at the rest of us. A stranger at the park watched Luca hum and asked her if he ever shuts that motor off. And inside the autism community, Nicole says the hardest thing about a Level 2 diagnosis is not the diagnosis. It's the comparing. Her advice is blunt and it applies to every level: don't compare your kid to any other kid. Nicole is the founder and president of The NEST Project, a nonprofit serving families in Pennsylvania and Ohio that buys what insurance won't cover for kids with special needs. Find them at nestcares.org. SPONSORThis episode is sponsored by PESI. Their 2026 Kids and Teens Autism Symposium runs November 18 and 19, online, and it is neuro-affirming the whole way through. There is a full session on demand avoidance, for every kid who got called defiant when it was really their nervous system, and another on kids who mask so well they get treated for anxiety instead of what is actually going on. Two hundred dollars for both days, up to 18 CE hours, and a 30 day replay if you cannot be there live. Built for clinicians, and parents can register too. pesi.com/theautismdad Rob's book, So Your Child Was Just Diagnosed with Autism, comes out December 29, 2026. Preorder at theautismdad.com/book.