296. How to Spot (and Break) the Dating Patterns Keeping You Stuck

There's a reason you keep dating the same people in different fonts: it's your dating patterns.

In this episode, I'm sharing the three patterns I discovered while tracking my own dating life, how they were getting in the way of the relationship I actually wanted, and what I did differently once I could finally see them. I'm also walking you through a simple way to identify your own patterns and turn them into experiments so you can start getting different dating results.

In this episode, you'll learn:

What dating patterns actually are and how they can quietly influence who you choose and how you behave
Common patterns like getting attached too quickly, chasing unavailable people, staying too long, or writing people off too soon
The three dating patterns I discovered in my own dating life
Why I stopped rushing physical intimacy and started approaching sex differently
How I realized I was trying to earn affection instead of evaluating whether someone was right for me
Why consistency can feel less exciting when you're used to chasing someone's attention
How tracking my dates helped me spot behaviors I couldn't see in the moment
How to turn your own dating patterns into small experiments that help you make different choices

Plus, I answer a dating dilemma from a 41-year-old man figuring out how to start dating again after a 13-year marriage—and how to avoid falling back into old people-pleasing habits.

Ready to date with more confidence? Start your 7-day free trial of Date Tracker! (iOS link)

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Episode 277 on IRL dating

What my date tracking note looked like & the emoji key

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Episoder(318)

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303. The Science of Getting Past Small Talk (And What To Share on Dates) w/ Vanessa Bohns

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301. How To Navigate Jealousy In Dating & Relationships w/ Ally Iseman

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300. How to Stop Trying to Control Everything in Your Love Life (Dating Dilemmas)

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22 Sep 36min

299. How to Stay Open When You’re Fed Up With Dating w/ Serena Kerrigan

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18 Sep 50min

298. 7 Dating Mistakes That Make Finding a Relationship Take Longer

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15 Sep 28min

297. Hidden Ways Low Self-Worth Shows Up in Dating (And How to Change It) w/ Dr. Marisa G. Franco

How much is your self-worth affecting the way you date? In this episode, I’m talking with psychologist and author Dr. Marisa G. Franco about how our past experiences can shape what we believe we deser...

11 Sep 55min