#0427 - My Weekend Was So Bad I Started Planning For The Yellowstone Apocalypse - 09/21/2026

This episode begins with Viktor Wilt emerging from the wreckage of the weekend like a man who has been personally betrayed by the concept of Saturday and Sunday, desperately attempting to assemble enough caffeine and functioning brain cells to operate a microphone. Friday actually went according to plan, because Viktor went with GM Kevin and Jeff to the Frontier to check out the Rock Orchestra, which transformed the K-Bear playlist into a gigantic orchestral wall of rock and metal. The Frontier looked substantially better after its remodel, the acoustics apparently sounded better than they had previously, and Viktor found himself realizing one horrifying fact: rock and metal from the late ’90s and early 2000s is now apparently “classic rock.” Civilization has collapsed. The calendar is lying. Everyone is old. Viktor also spent part of the show wondering whether every instrument on stage was actually live because the production sounded almost suspiciously perfect, but ultimately decided that even if there was some “live trickery” happening, it was still extremely cool.

And then Friday ended, and the weekend immediately entered the dumpster. Viktor didn't get to see the new Resident Evil movie, didn't accomplish the things he wanted to accomplish around the house, worked Saturday, didn't sleep properly, and generally experienced the kind of weekend where Monday morning feels less like the beginning of a new week and more like somebody has simply extended the punishment. He did at least have a successful live broadcast with the crew from Bullfrog, but that couldn't completely save the situation. By Monday morning, Viktor was operating on approximately seventeen molecules of sleep and enough caffeine to qualify as industrial machinery.

Then came the Peaches Facebook Incident, which somehow became a miniature social-media courtroom drama despite Viktor and Peaches apparently being perfectly fine with each other. After Peaches made a Facebook post, a handful of people apparently decided to construct an elaborate fictional universe in which Viktor was some kind of monstrous overlord who mistreats DJs. Viktor's response was essentially, “Are you people okay?” He tagged Peaches and Phyllis, joked about how terrible he apparently was, and then called Peaches, resulting in a roughly three-hour conversation between friends laughing about the entire situation. Viktor repeatedly emphasizes that if people have questions about Peaches, they should simply ask Peaches, because Viktor is not his publicist, lawyer, therapist, press secretary, or appointed ambassador to the Department of Other People's Business. The broader lesson: if you don't know what's happening, perhaps don't invent an entire Netflix miniseries in your Facebook comment section and then become furious at the characters you created.

The show then launches headfirst into freak news, beginning with the magnificent tale of a man getting pepper-sprayed inside a movie theater over cell-phone use. Viktor acknowledges that somebody using a phone during a movie can absolutely be annoying, but also points out that deploying pepper spray inside an enclosed theater is an excellent way to ensure that suddenly everyone is having a terrible movie-going experience. The story apparently involved the accused saying the other guy “got smart,” which Viktor correctly treats as a remarkably weak justification for immediately transforming a movie theater into a chemical-weapons testing facility. This leads into Viktor discussing his own irritating weekend encounters with people who were apparently disrespectful until confronted face-to-face, at which point they suddenly transformed into enthusiastic fans declaring how much they love the show. The message was clear: don't be fake nice to someone's face and then act like a goblin behind their back.

Next, Microsoft enters the chat with what sounds like a nightmare scenario for gamers: a patent involving advertising during video games, potentially triggered around boss fights, loading screens, and cutscenes, with players receiving additional ad-free time for watching advertisements. Viktor imagines the horrifying possibility of finally booting up something like GTA 6 only to have the game suddenly announce, “Congratulations, here's a commercial for hamburgers.” He expresses hope that Rockstar won't ruin the experience with that kind of nonsense, while remaining appropriately skeptical about the long-term possibilities of GTA Online and microtransactions.

Then the wildlife department apparently decides that humans have had enough peace. Viktor tells the story of a coyote in Massachusetts that bit a man and apparently became interested in a toddler, prompting a folding-chair-assisted wildlife intervention. This gives Viktor the opportunity to remind everyone that coyotes are not simply adorable neighborhood dogs with questionable fashion choices. They're wild animals. He then moves on to a bear wandering into an arcade in Colorado, where police apparently attempted to convince the bear that it was not supposed to be playing video games. The bear, presumably having excellent taste, ignored the warnings until it was eventually escorted back outside. Viktor points out that animals are increasingly moving into populated areas in search of food, meaning that someday you could theoretically be walking around Idaho Falls and encounter a deer, bear, coyote, or other creature casually attempting to ruin your afternoon.

After that, the show temporarily becomes the East Idaho employment hotline, with Viktor promoting Hire East Idaho and highlighting a Class A CDL truck-driver position with IBEX. The job involves hauling commodities such as wheat, barley, salt and dry fertilizer throughout the western states, although Viktor admits that he has absolutely no idea what a “hopper bottom” is. This becomes another reminder that if your current job is making you miserable, not giving you enough hours, or generally sucking the life out of you, there are other options. Somewhere out there is a job waiting for you, potentially involving a giant truck and a mysterious hopper bottom.

The show then turns toward Godsmack, Dorothy, Metallica, giveaways, and the rapidly approaching apocalypse of Viktor's calendar. Godsmack and Dorothy are coming to the Mountain America Center, and K-Bear is giving away tickets through the wonderfully simple strategy of becoming the correct caller number. Meanwhile, Viktor and Jade discuss their respective weekends. Jade actually managed to have an adventure in Island Park, including a side-by-side excursion where one unfortunate vehicle became buried in mud past the frame. Viktor responds with the wisdom of someone who has learned that outdoor recreation is considerably safer when you travel in packs, because apparently your side-by-side can spontaneously burst into flames and leave your feet on fire at any moment.

The conversation somehow devolves into mysterious brown Sprite bottles, with Jade suggesting that one particular bottle looked suspiciously like something that had been used as a portable restroom in a touring band's van. Viktor and Jade then realize they could potentially turn these questionable bottles into some sort of horrifying decorative display for autographing things. This is perhaps the closest the show comes to inventing a new museum exhibit dedicated entirely to human suffering.

Meanwhile, Viktor's work calendar continues expanding like a malignant tumor. He's got giveaways, Halloween promotions, Metallica promotions, live broadcasts, interviews, concerts,...